


Cloaked Heart

by happypeaches



Category: BLACKPINK (Band), ITZY (Band), TXT (Korea Band), The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Beomgyu is unsure about how he feels, Boyfriends, Conflict, Falling In Love, Heavy Angst, Huening Kai is in love with Soobin, M/M, One-Sided Relationship, Soobin is conflicted, Soobin only has feelings for Yeonjun, Taehyun is blindly in love with Beomgyu, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-01-25 14:10:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 36
Words: 43,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18576085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happypeaches/pseuds/happypeaches
Summary: Soobin has feelings for Yeonjun but he's conflicted between hiding them away and putting TXT first or accepting the way he feels about the older.





	1. Chapter 1

You see Soobin had feelings for Yeonjun but no one but himself knew that. Everyone was oblivious to the way Soobin blushed whenever Yeonjun complimented his dancing, his face or anything in general. He thought no one payed attention until a day that changed everything. The day that Beomgyu confronted him after they came back from their tiring schedules. The other members had dispersed into different sections of their dorm. Just as Soobin was about to enter their bedroom to sleep for the rest of the day, he felt a hand grip onto his arm pulling him backwards.

He quickly turned around—ready to fight the person who was about to ruin his sleeping plans until he saw the serious expression on Beomgyu's face. "Beomgyu?"

"I need to talk to you hyung," Beomgyu said, pulling Soobin into their bathroom before shutting the door with a soft click.

Soobin blinked at him, confusion etched on his features. "Beomgyu you're scaring me. Just-"

"Do you have feelings for Yeonjun hyung?" Beomgyu blurted, staring at Soobin expectantly. 

Soobin could feel the colour drain from his face at the sudden and abrupt question. He hadn't expected anyone to ask him directly. He wasn't even sure himself, so how on earth was he supposed to answer Beomgyu?

"Yah, don't be stupid. Of course not," The dark-haired boy spluttered, uncomfortably scratching the back of his neck.

Beomgyu watched him with narrowed eyes. "You're lying."

"Just drop it Beomgyu," Soobin sighed, stepping past the younger but Beomgyu purposefully blocked his way.

"It's not wrong if that's what you're afraid of," Beomgyu softly said, reaching out to caress Soobin's hand.

Annoyed, the older yanked his hand away. "There's nothing to be afraid of because there's nothing going on so just drop it Beomgyu-ah for fucks sake."

Soobin pushed Beomgyu to the side before opening the bathroom door and stepping outside. 

He felt bad for snapping at the younger but his prying was getting on his nerves. Beomgyu couldn't know the truth otherwise it would ruin the dynamic in the group and everything that they trained, worked and counted the days down for were all for nothing over some stupid crush that would fade away over time. Right?

Yawning, Soobin walked into their shared room and flopped onto his bed which was the bottom bunk. He shared a bunk with Yeonjun and sometimes if the older was exhausted, Soobin would find him passed out on his bed and he would end up just sleeping on the top bunk not to disturb Yeonjun.

Soobin's eyes grew heavy as he slowly drifted asleep, cuddling his plushie tightly to his chest. 

 

"Soobin."

"Soobin."

"Yah, Choi Soobin."

"Soobin, wake up."

Soobin's eyelids fluttered open as he saw Yeonjun standing over him with a smile on his face. How could someone be so preppy first thing in the morning? Groaning, Soobin stretched his tired and weary limbs before pulling the covers off his body.

"You looked so cute cuddling your plushie. I didn't even wanna wake you up," Yeonjun cooed, stroking Soobin's hair causing the younger's cheeks to flush pink in embarrassment of the fact that Yeonjun was watching him sleep.

"Is everyone already up?" Soobin asked, changing the subject as he stood up from his bed whilst rubbing his eyes.

Yeonjun nodded, opening the drawers to pull out his socks before plopping down onto the floor to slip them on. "Yeah, Beomgyu's helping Taehyun make breakfast."

"Shit," Soobin swore, running a hand through his hair. "I was supposed to make breakfast today."

"Don't worry Soobin-ah, you were tired and we didn't want to ruin your sleep so we let you sleep in for a while," Yeonjun reassured, shaking his head. 

"T-thanks," Soobin sheepishly stuttered, scratching his head. "I'm gonna go get ready."

Yeonjun nodded before walking out of the bedroom. 

Soobin grabbed a towel and walked into the bathroom to brush his teeth and take a shower before slipping into a plain white t-shirt and his favorite basketball shorts. 

"Hyung breakfast is ready," Huening Kai cutely said, sticking his head through the door.

"Coming," Soobin said, drying his hair with the towel before going into the kitchen to greet the other members who were loudly conversating. Yeonjun was laughing at a joke Taehyun made whilst Beomgyu and Huening Kai were setting up the table for breakfast.

As soon as Soobin appeared, everyone's eyes were on him especially Beomgyu.

"Have a good sleep hyung?" Taehyun teased, raising an eyebrow at Soobin who rolled his eyes before playfully slapping him.

"As a matter of fact I did not having to hear all of your loud voices," Soobin retorted, biting back a laugh at everyone's offended faces.

"But you love my voice, right?" Yeonjun grinned, wrapping an arm around the younger.

He could feel Beomgyu watching him. He wasn't going to make anything obvious so he slightly shrugged off Yeonjun's arm, trying not to stare at Yeonjun's hurt face.

The air was thick with tension as everyone quietly ate not knowing how to react to Soobin's weird behaviour towards the oldest member.

"You love my voice, right?" Huening Kai piped up, breaking the silence.

"Obviously," Soobin chuckled as Huening Kai let out a little happy 'yes' before going to back to eating. 

"Do we have any schedules today?" Beomgyu asked, briefly changing the subject.

"Yeah we have to film a heart-version dance practice of Crown in the afternoon," Yeonjun said, trying to hide how hurt he felt towards Soobin.

"Ahh, aegyo isn't my thing," Taehyun whined, insecurely.

"Hyung everything about you is cute!" Huening Kai snickered, flinching as Taehyun reached over to hit him.

 

After breakfast, Soobin decided to stay in his room to watch a movie since there wasn't much to do and the other members had went to the park to film a V-LIVE with their manager, Jaehyuk.

Sighing, he climbed into his bed and pulled the covers up before opening up his laptop and logging on.

Yeonjun had entered the room with a big packet of sweet flavoured popcorn, it was Soobin's favorite snack. "I figured you were watching a movie. So I brought you this."

"Mhm," Soobin distractedly nodded, keeping his eyes focused on his screen—trying to detain himself from snatching the popcorn out of his hands and devouring it. He needed to be distant even if it meant sacrificing the popcorn.

"Soobin," Yeonjun awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, "did I do something wrong?"

The younger could feel his heart soften at Yeonjun's small and innocent tone. He didn't mean to treat Yeonjun badly—he just didn't want his feelings to escalate more. He was already trying to convince Beomgyu that he didn't have feelings for Yeonjun. Being close to him was going to ruin everything.

"No hyung. I just want to be left alone right now," Soobin lied, avoiding Yeonjun's intense gaze.

"Soobin I-"

"Just leave me alone please hyung," Soobin snapped, slamming his laptop shut causing Yeonjun to flinch in shock.

"So-sorry if I'm being a b-burden," Yeonjun stuttered, biting his lip before slowly walking out of the room leaving Soobin to stare after him in guilt.

If this was the only way to make his feelings go away, then he had no choice but to be distant with Yeonjun.


	2. Chapter 2

"What the heck did you say to Yeonjun hyung?" Beomgyu hissed, bursting into their bedroom which startled the brunette-haired boy.

"I just said I needed space," Soobin shrugged, staring up at the younger who was practically throwing daggers at him. "I didn't mean to hurt his feelings."

Beomgyu scoffed, rolling his eyes. "But you didn't seem to mind when you yelled at him?"

Soobin got out of bed and slipped on his socks before sidestepping Beomgyu. "Why do you care so much?"

"Are you seriously asking me why I care? Are you that stupid?" Beomgyu exasperatedly seethed, shoving Soobin—preventing him from leaving the room.

"Yah," Soobin angrily shoved him back, "don't forget I'm older than you."

Soobin could feel his blood boil as anger and fury pulsed through his veins. He hated how Beomgyu always wanted to be in control of every situation and spoke down to Soobin like he was better than him. The younger was making things worse. If only he would just butt out and mind his own business then maybe he would still be talking to Yeonjun like a normal human being but no the younger wanted to act like a mediator when things were already complicated. 

"Maybe if you weren't so immature," Beomgyu shot back, getting in Soobin's face whilst glaring at him.

"What's going on?" Huening Kai innocently asked, entering the room through the small space that the door had left since Beomgyu was practically blocking the door from opening any wider.

"Nothing," Soobin grunted, taking this as an opportunity to escape the threatening tension in the room. He needed to breathe and he couldn't with Beomgyu pissing him off and getting all up in his personal space.

Before Soobin could even take a minute to regain his composure, Taehyun grabbed onto his arm. "We need to talk."

Irritated, Soobin yanked his arm out of Taehyun's grip and backed away. "No we don't. There's nothing to talk about."

"Hyung why are you acting like this?" Taehyun hesitated, eyeing the older warily.

"It's all of you that are driving me crazy. I need air," Soobin snarled, shouldering past Taehyun and walking over to the shoe rack where he grabbed his vans and squeezed his feet into them before grabbing his padded coat.

"Where are you going?" Taehyun called out, watching Soobin leave the dorm in a flash and slamming the door shut.

 

The ice-cold breeze fanned Soobin's face as he held tightly onto his coat, throwing his hood over his head to make sure that no one would recognize him. He just needed to be alone right now to think. He felt like he was about to explode if he stayed in their dorm any longer. Aware that he would be in big trouble for leaving without letting their managers know, he nervously started chewing on his bottom lip whilst walking through the half-empty streets of Seoul.

He hadn't realized tears were running down his pale cheeks as he slowly brought his hand up to his face to wipe them away. Everything had made him feel stressed and overwhelmed—he didn't know how much longer he could take of treating Yeonjun like this especially if it meant jeopardizing his other relationships with the other members particularly Beomgyu. He feared they would end up getting into a fist fight soon if they didn't sort this out.

Despite the situation, he knew he couldn't cower away from distancing himself with Yeonjun. Like he said, his feelings would disappear if he spent less time with the older. Beomgyu didn't understand that and thought he was just intentionally being mean because he wanted to. 

A few hours passed by of Soobin sitting on a bench at their local park. Anxiety started to kick in when he became conscious of how late it became. It was verging close to night time and he knew how worried everyone was going to be. 

Quickly, he sprung up from the bench and immediately started making his way home whilst hugging his coat tighter against his body. In spite of it being spring, it was still cold as heck.

Finally making it back into their dorm, Soobin pulled of his shoes before placing it neatly back onto the shoe rack along with the other shoes that they kept there. 

From what it looked like, the other members must have went to sleep—or so he thought so. 

"How could you run off like that Soobin-ah?" Their manager scolded, stepping into view with Taehyun, Beomgyu, Yeonjun and Huening Kai behind him. They all worriedly stared at Soobin whose head was bowed in guilt.

"I'm sorry manager-nim. I just felt like taking a walk," Soobin mumbled, chewing on his bottom lip—something he found himself doing often.

"If you want to do that then next time please ask one of the managers to accompany you. It's not safe for you to be out there without any protection," Their manager sighed, walking over to Soobin and resting a hand on his shoulder. "Don't do that next time Soobin."

Soobin obediently nodded. "I'm really sorry manager-nim."

Jaehyuk turned around to face the other members. "I want everyone to head to bed. We're going to have to film the dance practice tomorrow."

A chorus of 'yeses' filled the living room as Jaehyuk briefly nodded—giving Soobin one last reassuring look—before leaving their dorm. 

There was still tension in the room and he knew he was the cause of it.

"Hyung," Huening Kai strolled over to Soobin, "where did you go?"

"To the park," Soobin sighed, not in the mood to deal with their maknae's overhyped behavior.

Huening Kai jumped up and down whilst tugging on the older's arm. "Hyung why didn't you take me with you?"

"I wanted to be alone," Soobin grumbled, pushing Huening Kai's hand of his arm. Huening Kai's smile fell as he sadly pouted at the way the older was treating him.

Soobin flopped onto his bed unaware that a certain brown-eyed boy was observing him.

"Something could have happened to you," Beomgyu said, once everyone was settled in their beds.

Soobin scoffed, mentally rolling his eyes. "Like you even care."

Beomgyu immediately sat up and threw a look of disbelief and hurt at the older. "How could you-"

"Beomgyu just leave it. Huening Kai, please turn off the lights," Taehyun sleepily murmured.

Huening Kai rolled out of his bed and hopped over to the light switch before flicking it off. "Good night hyungs."

Soobin exhaled. Tomorrow was gonna be a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is shorter than the first one. I wrote this quickly because I wanted to update and I need to sleep. I'm so tired. Anyways I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Don't forget to leave comments, I always love reading what you guys say!
> 
> Byeee! <3


	3. Chapter 3

Soobin's body was drained of energy. They had spent at least four hours recording their heart version dance practice for Crown. Huening Kai had made a lot of mistakes causing the staff to have to re-record everything. The other members had complained in annoyance whilst the younger sheepishly apologized over and over again.

The tension was still evident between the members. They had barely talked to Soobin the whole ride there. It did hurt Soobin that they were ignoring him but he knew that he was doing the right thing and they would understand if they knew especially Beomgyu, who was clearly aware of what was going on but was only making things worse.

"I'm so tired," Taehyun panted, collapsing on the ground with an ice cold water bottle tightly gripped in his hand.

"Me too," Beomgyu yawned, bringing his hand up to cover his mouth.

Yeonjun was too busy scrolling through his phone to even notice what was going on around the practice room. Soobin found himself staring the older not expecting Yeonjun to lift his head up and meet his eyes.

Soobin quickly averted his gaze and looked at everything else except at the brown-haired boy. 

"I'm gonna ask manager hyung if we could go out to eat after this," Beomgyu said, rubbing his stomach. "I'm starving."

Huening Kai jumped up from his lying position on the wooden floor. "I wanna come! Taehyun hyung, you're coming with us too."

Taehyun stared up at the duo, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion until realization hits him—instantly aware of what they were planning to do.

The three sneakily left the practice room leaving Yeonjun and Soobin alone.

Occupied with the laptop, Soobin hadn't noticed that it was only him and Yeonjun left in the room. His eyes immediately widening. This was not happening. Irritated, Soobin tried leaving but Yeonjun stood up and quickly grabbed onto his arm. "Can we talk?"

Soobin nonchalantly shrugged, trying to keep his cool. "Like I said, there's nothing to talk about."

"Don't bullshit me Soobin," Yeonjun gritted, frowning.

"Just stop hyung. You're making things worse," Soobin tiredly sighed, pulling his arm away.

Yeonjun was hurt at the way the younger was acting towards him. He didn't understand where this sudden change of attitude came from. "You're the one who's acting like I don't exist. What the fuck did I do for you to hate me so much?"

Soobin had never heard the older swear, he was shocked and taken aback at the same time. Not knowing how to respond, Soobin kept quiet and cast his gaze to the floor.

"Soobin, talk to me," Yeonjun pleaded, desperate to understand why the younger was behaving this way.

"Just drop it hyung," Soobin seethed, sidestepping Yeonjun before walking over to the door—not expecting to see Beomgyu, Taehyun and Huening Kai pressed up against the door.

"Hey hyung," Huening Kai grimaced, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck whilst Taehyun pretended that he didn't just eavesdrop into their conversation. Beomgyu just folded his arms, giving Soobin a look of disapproval.

"What?" Soobin asked, raising an eyebrow at Beomgyu.

"You really are an idiot," Beomgyu slowly shook his head, "a stupid, stupid idiot."

"I'm not idiot. I know what I'm doing," Soobin shot back, offended by Beomgyu's comment.

Beomgyu raised an eyebrow at him, unconvinced. "Do you really?"

Huening Kai and Taehyun shared a perplexed look as they stared back and forth between Soobin and Beomgyu.

"It doesn't matter. I'm asking manager hyung if we can go back to the dorms," Soobin said, changing the subject swiftly. Not wanting to argue with the younger any longer.

"Ah, you see about that," Taehyun drawled, pulling a face, "manager hyung said he's taking us somewhere to eat."

"All of us," Beomgyu added.

Soobin deeply inhaled, knowing that they just wanted him and Yeonjun to talk but he wasn't going to let this get in the way of eating free food.

"Okay," Soobin casually said, unbothered.

Beomgyu blinked at him. "Okay?"

"If you guys want me and Yeonjun to talk it out then we will," Soobin said, pursing his lips into a tight line.

"I'll go get him then," Huening Kai beamed, rushing back into the practice room to grab Yeonjun.

Despite Soobin saying that to the other members, he wasn't actually going to talk to the older. He was just saying that so they could leave him alone. It was working. Everyone dropped the subject as they filed into the car.

"Wanna listen to a new song I've been listening to?" Beomgyu offered to Taehyun, taking out his earphones.

Taehyun nodded before bringing his mouth to Beomgyu's ear. "Anything to escape the tension in this car."

Beomgyu just chuckled before plugging in his earphones and logging into his Spotify.

"Soobin hyung, wanna play a game?" Huening Kai excitedly suggested, expectantly staring at the older who was too busy gazing out the window.

"No, I'm good," Soobin declined.

He wasn't in the mood to do anything but sulk that he was forced to go somewhere with Yeonjun. The only reason why he even agreed to come was because he didn't wanna turn down free food especially if their manager was paying.

Free food or staying at the dorm doing nothing?

Not much of an option.

"I'll play with you," Yeonjun said, smiling at their maknae.

Soobin could feel his heart soften at the way Yeonjun spoke to Huening Kai. He wished things didn't have to be like this. Constantly trying to act cold towards Yeonjun. It hurt him as much as it hurt the older. It pained him because all he wanted to do was cuddle with Yeonjun and watch their favorite stupid shows together whilst stuffing their faces with popcorn but he knew that this was the only way he could make the way he felt about Yeonjun to go away and then everything would go back to normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I've been updating a lot recently mostly because I don't have a lot to do and I was bored but I hoped you enjoy this chapter. The first few chapters are going to be stressful having to watch Yeonjun and Soobin's relationship deteriorate but don't worry as the story goes on things will slowly become better for the pair and the group.
> 
> Anyways byeee! <3


	4. Chapter 4

As soon as they reached their favorite restaurant, everyone excitedly piled out of the car—one after another before Jaehyuk slid the car door shut.

"Finally. I can get some food into my system," Beomgyu said with contempt. Soobin silently agreed, he barely was able to his stomach his breakfast and mostly filled himself up with water or fruits.

Everyone patiently stood outside the restaurant waiting for their manager who was fumbling around in his pocket for his wallet and instantly cursed when it was nowhere to be seen. "You kids go in. I think I left my wallet in the car."

"I'm choosing the seats!" Huening Kai exclaimed, rushing into the half-empty restaurant. Other customers stared at the maknae, confused as to why he was running around. Luckily, no one recognized them which meant they didn't have to deal with ans coming up to them every second asking for a picture.

"Stop messing about," Yeonjun scolded, shaking his head as they followed Huening Kai to the far end where the big tables were.

"Me and Taehyun are sitting in the middle," Beomgyu declared, grabbing onto the older's arm and tugging him towards their designated seats which meant that Huening Kai had to sit on either end leaving Yeonjun and Soobin to sit together.

"Really? Are you that immature?" Soobin lowly grumbled, plopping onto his seat beside Yeonjun before rolling his eyes.

"Soobin," Yeonjun slowly said, staring at the younger. "I need to know what's going on with you. It doesn't make sense how you can suddenly stop talking to me for no reason at all."

Soobin bit back a laugh, throwing him an incredulous look. "For no reason? You really think I'm doing this for no reason?"

Yeonjun blinked at him, confused. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Finally, their manager came back—his wallet in hand as he sat down on their table.

"Did you guys order?" Jaehyuk asked, reading the menu.

Yeonjun turned back to Soobin, drowning out everyone else. "What did you mean-"

"It doesn't matter," Soobin cut him off, shaking his head before looking down at the menu. 

"It matters to me," Yeonjun insisted, yanking the menu out of Soobin's hand.

"Hyung!" Soobin groaned, annoyed at the way Yeonjun was acting. He could never leave things alone, even if you begged him. He was so persistent to know everything. Little did he know that knowing everything would hurt him.

"Soobin," Yeonjun warned, "tell me what you meant or else."

Soobin hesitantly stared at him, afraid to ask. "Or else what?"

"I'll never talk to you again," Yeonjun boldly said, his eyes never leaving Soobin's.

"You-you're not serious, right?" Soobin blinked at him, not believing the harsh words coming out of Yeonjun's mouth.

"You have two days to tell me why you've been acting like this or else we're done Soobin," Yeonjun said, before spanning his attention back to the others who were ordering.

Soobin didn't know how to feel about this. One part of him wanted him to just blurt out everything to the older but the other part wanted to hide everything away. He didn't things would turn out like this. All he wanted to do was make things better but instead all he did was make things five times worse. Everyone was annoyed with him and Yeonjun was angry at him. 

Nothing was going right but what did he expect? 

Still, he didn't think Yeonjun would threaten him like that.

Things were taking a turn for the worse.

 

The car ride back to the dorm was quiet—everyone focused on their own things. Beomgyu was listening to music with Taehyun, Huening Kai was playing a game on his phone, Yeonjun was on his phone watching a show on Netflix whilst Soobin was gazing out the window. His mind was in a daze, thinking back to his conversation with Yeonjun at the restaurant.

He hadn't realized that he was slowly drifting to sleep.

"Soobin, wake up. We're here," Beomgyu loudly said, gently shaking the older awake causing Soobin to jolt awake.

Looking around, he saw everyone had already gotten out the car. Sighing, he climbed out of the vehicle and followed after his other members. Beomgyu caught up with him, walking by his side. "What did you and Yeonjun talk about? It looked pretty heated."

"Beomgyu. Don't get involved," Soobin warned, as they entered the lift. It was only the two of them.

"Hyung, look. I'm on your side here. I care about you and I just want you to be happy. I know you really like Yeonjun no matter whatever you're trying to do. Just let me help you make things right," Beomgyu softly pleaded.

Soobin chewed on his bottom lip. Maybe he should just let Beomgyu help him instead of handling it by himself. "He gave me a deadline."

Beomgyu stared at him, waiting for him to continue. 

"He said that I had to tell him what was going on with me or he would never talk to me again."

Beomgyu was silent for a while, his brain processing Soobin's words. "Knowing Yeonjun hyung he'd definitely not talk to you for a while if you don't tell him."

"Gee thanks that helped," Soobin sarcastically said, rolling his eyes. 

"Okay okay! Look just tell him how you feel about him," Beomgyu suggested, "everything. No holding back."

Soobin whined, as they got off the lift. "It just feels wrong to tell him that. He probably thinks of me as a dongsaeng."

"You won't know if you try so just try. He'll understand. It's Yeonjun hyung remember," Beomgyu reassured, wrapping an arm around Soobin as they stepped into their dorm.

Soobin shut the door behind them. "I'll tell him tomorrow then."

Beomgyu stared at him with a look of relief. "Finally, we're getting somewhere. See you really did need my expertise advice."

Soobin side-eyed him. "Don't get ahead of yourself Beomgyu. We don't even know if he feels the same about me."

"Andddd...what if he does?" Beomgyu teased, smirking. 

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Soobin furrowed his eyebrows as he pulled a face of disgust.

"You and Yeonjun hyung are gonna be getting it on soon," Beomgyu winked.

"Okay. Ew gross. I'm going to bed," Soobin said, pretending to make vomiting noises as Beomgyu laughed watching the older enter their bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY GUYS! IT'S ME AGAIN WITH ANOTHER CHAPTER BECAUSE I HAVE NO LIFE AND I'M CONSTANTLY ON MY LAPTOP! :'(
> 
> Anyways yeahhhh this is the fourth chapter, how did you guys like it? I have a bit of writers block right now so could you guys help me out and suggest what I should write or include in the next few chapters. MY MIND IS BLANK.
> 
> Btw listen to TXT-Cat & Dog it's a bopppp.
> 
> Byeee! <3


	5. Chapter 5

Today was the day that Soobin was going to tell Yeonjun how he felt about him and why he was acting weird towards him these past few days. Soobin knew that if this went wrong—he'd only have himself to blame for getting his hopes high. He didn't expect the older to like him back, he just wanted it to get it out in the open. He was sick and tired of hiding his feelings away. It was only making the situation worse. 

"Everyone's still asleep," Beomgyu whispered, closing their bedroom door before tiptoeing over to where Soobin was sitting on the couch.

"I can't believe I'm seriously doing this," Soobin whined, pulling a face.

Beomgyu rolled his eyes before flopping down next to Soobin. "You're being overdramatic, hyung."

Soobin slowly turned to stare at Beomgyu, his eyes wide. "What if things get awkward and then-"

Beomgyu grabbed onto his hand, causing the older to stop mid-sentence. "If things get awkward, then we'll find a way to fix it. It's better that he knows otherwise you're gonna keep hurting him with you being distant."

"I guess you're right," Soobin sighed. "Surprisingly."

Just as Beomgyu was about to shoot an insult at the older, they're interrupted by Yeonjun sleepily walking into the kitchen whilst rubbing his eyes.

"Why are you guys up?" Yeonjun groggily asked, grabbing a glass from the cupboard.

Soobin could feel his heart race and he didn't even know why. Goddamnit and these stupid feelings. They're were making him act like an idiot. "Uh..we were-"

"Binge eating!" Beomgyu cut in, saving Soobin.

Yeonjun eyed them strangely, his gaze flickering back and forth between Soobin and Beomgyu. "Binge eating? At 3am in the morning?"

"You know how it gets sometimes hyung," Soobin nervously chuckled, grimacing at the awkward tension.

"So where's the food?" Yeonjun questioned, narrowing his eyes at the suspicious pair.

Beomgyu and Soobin exchanged a look of panic at the sudden question. Yeah, they really didn't think this ahead when they snuck out of their rooms.

"We..ate..it...all?" Beomgyu hesitantly squeaked, his words sounding more like a question.

"Guys, I'm being serious. What's going on with all this secrecy?" Yeonjun groaned, annoyed at the way they were acting.

Soobin unsurely chewed on his bottom lip, not knowing whether to come out with the truth or stay quiet. 

Beomgyu noticed Soobin looking conflicted and jumped into to save him, again. "Soobin's dog died."

Soobin snapped his neck around to blink at Beomgyu with wide eyes. 

"What?" Soobin and Yeonjun simultaneously shouted.

Beomgyu threw Soobin a glare that screamed 'you idiot' before turning back to Yeonjun with a sad expression. "We only found out today that's we snuck out here to binge eat...at 3am in the..morning."

"Soobinie hyung," the auburn-haired boy (AN: idk what you call his hair colour LOL) wrapped an arm around a baffled Soobin, "is just having a hard time processing this."

"Shit Soobin, you loved that dog," Yeonjun gasped in sympathy. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No."

"Yes."

Soobin narrowed his eyes at Beomgyu. 

"I tried to console him with food but I don't think that's enough. Hyung, maybe you should try cheering him up whilst I," Beomgyu yawned, standing up to stretch. "go back to have a peaceful sleep."

"Beomgyu don't," Soobin quietly hissed, pursing his lips. 

Beomgyu mischievously smiled at him before mouthing 'have fun.'

 

Yeonjun sighed, taking a seat next to a nervous Soobin. "Your dog didn't really die..did he?"

Soobin bit his lip. "No..but-"

"Soobin, I seriously don't understand you anymore. Whatever you're hiding just tell me it's not that big of a deal," Yeonjun said.

"Don't say that when you don't even know what it is hyung! I could have killed someone and it wouldn't be a big deal?" Soobin scoffed, raising an eyebrow at the older.

Yeonjun stared at him with a terrified expression. "You..didn't..though, right?"

"Of course not!" Soobin laughed, shaking his head. 

Yeonjun let out a sigh of relief before shrugging. "Then it can't be as bad as that. So tell me Soobin. Whatever it is."

Soobin deeply inhaled, preparing himself for the worst to come. "Okay um.."

"I like you hyung. Not like as in friends but like as in...more. That's why I've been acting weird and distant towards you because somehow in my brain I thought that it would make it go away. The way I felt about you."

Yeonjun was quiet as he examined Soobin, unsure of what to say. 

Soobin let out a cry as he leaned back into the couch whilst covering his face with his hands in sheer embarrassment. "I knew this was going to happen. Just kill me now."

"Soobin," Yeonjun softly called, pulling the younger's hands away from his face. "I like you too. Not like as in friends but like as in...more."

"Hyung don't joke around!" Soobin pouted.

"I'm not! I have feelings for you as well," Yeonjun said, grinning.

Soobin sat up and gave him a serious look. "Then show me."

Yeonjun didn't hesitate as he leaned to place a gentle kiss on Soobin's plush lips causing the younger to let out a muffled sound of surprise.

Pulling away, Yeonjun gazed into Soobin's dark brown eyes. "That serious enough for you?"

"Y-yeah," Soobin slowly nodded, stuck in a trance as he reached up to touch his lips.

Yeonjun had kissed him. Kissed him. KISSED. That's more than he expected. Way more. He suddenly felt guilty for the way he treated the older.

"I'm sorry for the way I acted towards you. I must have hurt your feelings," Soobin sheepishly apologized, averting Yeonjun's gaze.

"Eh, it's all good. I figured you would tell me in your own time," Yeonjun shrugged, smiling.

Soobin bit back a grin. "I don't deserve you."

"But you do," Yeonjun said before leaning in to kiss the younger again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there you have it guyssss! They finally had a talk to sort things out and this is just the beginning of their relationship. Sorry if this chapter seems rushed and a bit disoriented I had to quickly write it.
> 
> But I hope you enjoyed it! If you guys could tell me what the next chapter should be about because I have no clue what to write next looool.
> 
> Anywayss byee <3


	6. Chapter 6

"So, where do we go from here?" Soobin slowly asked, out of breath from their makeout session. His eyes trailing from Yeonjun's plump lips to his chocolate-coloured eyes. Sometimes, Soobin couldn't help but wonder how someone could be so beautiful as the older. He was lucky to have Yeonjun in his life even if they weren't exactly sure of what they were to each other.

Yeonjun shrugged, his upper lip twitching into a shy smile. "We can figure that slowly along the way but first how are we going to explain to the other members about us?"

"Well, we won't have to worry about Beomgyu," Soobin said, knowing the younger had already wrapped his head around the idea of them.

Yeonjun blinked at the dark-haired boy, his eyebrows raised. "What do you mean?"

"He kind of already knows about us. Actually he's even been helping me try to talk to you," Soobin sheepishly admitted, scratching the back of his neck.

A wave of realization hits Yeonjun, as his brain finally connected the dots together. "Ah, that's why you guys have been so secretive and..argued a lot lately."

"We argued mostly because of my stubbornness. He kept trying to convince me to tell you how I felt but I was scared," Soobin explained, chewing on his bottom lip—a habit he found himself doing a lot recently whenever he was anxious.

"You don't need to be scared anymore now that we put everything out in the open," Yeonjun reassured, gently pushing Soobin's fringe out of his eyes.

"Um, what about Taehyun and Huening Kai?" Soobin asked.

The two were completely oblivious of everything that was going on and he didn't want them to be confused. They were still young.

"We can start with Taehyun then tell Huening Kai after," Yeonjun said before wrapping an arm around Soobin, "but right now I just want to cuddle with you."

Soobin's cheeks flushed red, flustered as his heartbeat paced faster. 

"You're so cute when you get shy," Yeonjun cooed, pinching Soobin's soft cheeks as the younger whined.

"Hyung stop," Soobin pouted, lightly slapping Yeonjun's prying hands away from his face before scooting over to the far end of the couch and hiding his face into the pillow.

Yeonjun chuckled, sliding over next to the younger and engulfing him in a hug. "If I can get another kiss maybe I'll stop pinching your cheeks."

Soobin lifted his head from where it was buried in the pillow and gave him an 'are you kidding' look. "We already made out like three times in one day."

Yeonjun mischievously grinned before using both hands to squish Soobin's cheeks so that he couldn't move his face. "Was that a yes?"

"Don't-"

Soobin was cut off by Yeonjun pressing his lips onto the younger's. He could feel himself melt into the kiss, as their mouths perfectly molded together. They were so into the kiss that they hadn't noticed Huening Kai watching them with a look of shock. 

"What are you guys doing?" 

Startled, they both jumped away from each other pretending that they didn't just suck each others faces off a minute ago. 

"I can explain," Yeonjun panted, standing up to walk over to the younger.

Huening Kai shook his head whilst backing away. Traumatised at the sight of seeing two people that he looked up to do something they weren't supposed to be doing. "Don't-don't come any closer."

"Huening Kai," Yeonjun pleaded.

This is what Soobin was afraid of, the members reacting harshly and treating him differently. He didn't want their maknae to resent him. He wanted him to understand.

"I'm gon-gonna go ba-back to sleep," the raven-haired boy nervously jittered, shakily opening the bedroom door before shutting it.

"Shit," Yeonjun swore, running a hand through his hair.

"He's just scared and confused," Soobin justified, his voice wavering not even believing his own words.

"What should we say to him?" Yeonjun asked, spinning around to face a distressed Soobin. 

"We should try and explain to him," Soobin said, rocking back and forth on the couch.

Yeonjun groaned. "I didn't think he was going to react that way."

After a beat of silence, Soobin glanced at Yeonjun. "Maybe we should head back to the room and go back to sleep? Hopefully when we wake up, it won't be as bad."

"Yeah good idea," Yeonjun nodded, silently praying that Huening Kai would be okay.

 

It was ten times worse when they woke up. Huening Kai hadn't came out for breakfast and was nowhere to be seen the whole day just as if he was avoiding them purposefully.

"So he really saw you guys making out?" Beomgyu whispered, leaning in closer to Soobin.

"Yeah. Poor thing looked so terrified. I feel like a shitty person for doing that in front of him," Soobin guiltily sighed, tugging on his hair.

Beomgyu comforted him. "Look I'm sure he just needs some time to process what he saw. Have you told Taehyun yet?"

Soobin shook his head, feeling even more guilty for leaving Taehyun out in the dust about what was going on. "No. I don't know when I should tell him with everything happening. Ugh, I feel like an awful leader."

"Hyung don't say that! You're not an awful leader. You're a great one even though you don't listen sometimes," Beomgyu teased, trying to lighten up the mood.

A laugh escaped Soobin's lips as he playfully pushed Beomgyu. "Thanks idiot."

 

They were currently in their waiting room—getting ready to record another stage on M Countdown. Soobin was keeping himself occupied by taking selcas on his phone since the fans had begged for him to upload more pictures of himself. Huening Kai had strayed away from them the whole day and kept to himself. It made Soobin worried as he was so used to seeing the younger full of life and happiness.

Yeonjun had plopped down next to him on the blanket with a soft smile. His hair neatly styled and tucked under a coral pink beret. "Have you been able to talk to Huening Kai?"

"Uh, not exactly," Soobin grimaced, putting the phone down. "he's been keeping his distance just like how I was with you."

Yeonjun sighed, pouting. "I miss hearing his cheery voice and playing stupid games with him."

Soobin mentally cooed at the older's cuteness before scooting over to him and secretly intertwining their hands together. "Everything will be okay."

Their cosy cuddling session was interrupted by their staff telling them they had to go on stage.

Yeonjun and Soobin sweetly smiled at each other before unlocking hands and standing up to get ready to perform.

Soobin just hoped their maknae didn't hate them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So initially I wanted everything to be all happy fairytale blah blah but I thought that it would be a bit boring and unrealistic so I came up with this chapter. How did you guys like it? I did try to slow it down a bit but like I said I'm a basic ass writer loool.


	7. Chapter 7

Everyone was exhausted and tired when they returned to their dorm from their stage promotions for their debut. Soobin quietly yawned as he shut the door behind him once all the members had stepped in. Right now, all he wanted to do was just get under his covers and sleep which he knew was merely possible considering with everything going on. 

"Huening Kai, can we speak?" Yeonjun asked, his voice breaking the silent atmosphere. 

The raven-haired boy stopped in his tracks and slowly turned around to face Yeonjun with a scowl. "No I don't wanna speak to you or Soobin hyung."

"Huening Kai don't say that," Beomgyu sighed, fed up of the way their maknae was behaving.

Taehyun looked utterly bewildered as his gaze flickered back and forth between Yeonjun and Huening Kai who were practically having a staring contest. "Speak about what? Did something happen?"

"No, he's just a bit upset right now," Soobin nervously lied, fiddling with his fingers.

"Don't lie to Taehyun hyung. He needs to know the truth," Huening Kai snapped, folding his arms whilst throwing a glare at Soobin.

Soobin rapidly shook his head, his eyes widening. "Huening Kai, don't."

He didn't want the younger to find out like this. He wanted to tell Taehyun himself.

"Wh-what is he talking about?" Taehyun stuttered, spanning his attention to Soobin who averted his questioning gaze.

Yeonjun chewed on his bottom lip, afraid to face the confused younger.

Neither said a word as the dorm was deathly silent. Soobin didn't want it to turn out like this, he should have thought this through. How could he have ever thought being in relationship whilst being a leader of an idol group would ever work? He was stupid. Stupid. To believe that they wouldn't face consequences. 

"Soobin and Yeonjun are sleeping with each other," Huening Kai blurted, the explicit words coming out of the youngers mouth causing everyone to snap their necks towards him with shock and utter disbelief.

"No no no! We're not sleeping with each other!" Soobin denied, his voice rising an octave higher.

Beomgyu groaned, facepalming himself. "Huening Kai you're an idiot."

"Whoa, we are not sleeping with each other," Yeonjun scoffed, taken aback that their maknae would think that. 

Taehyun was quiet, his mind becoming dizzy from trying to handle what was being said.

"Then why were you kissing each other last night, huh? I bet this has been happening for months now," Huening Kai accused, glowering at the pair.

"Just please let us explain," Soobin begged, tears forming in his eyes. He was becoming stressed.

"You're really going to jeopardize everything that we worked for over your stupid relationship," Taehyun grunted, causing everyone to stop talking and stare at the wide-eyed boy.

Taehyun's words were cutting into him deeply.

He was right. He was selfish for putting his feelings first.

"It's not like that," Yeonjun argued, furrowing his eyebrows. Frustration overcoming him.

"Then please elaborate hyung. Tell us what the actual hell is going on between you two," Huening Kai inclined.

Yeonjun and Soobin shared a glance of uncertainty. That was the problem. They still hadn't figured out what they were.

"See you don't even know yourself. What if this a one time thing?" Taehyun exclaimed.

Soobin gnawed on his bottom lip, not knowing how to respond. He didn't even know how to feel. His emotions were all over the place. "I-"

"Just admit it! Admit you're selfish!" Huening Kai gritted, anger flooding his body.

"Guys let's just all take a breather. Everyone's just confused and tired right now," Beomgyu intervened, staring at each and every member.

"What's there to be confused about? Soobin and Yeonjun only care about themselves," Taehyun retorted.

"Taehyun, you know that's not true," Yeonjun said, his voice trembling.

"Whatever. I'm done with this conversation," Huening Kai grumbled, storming into their bedroom. Taehyun immediately following after him leaving Beomgyu, Yeonjun and Soobin in the living room.

Tears rolled down Soobin's cheeks as he casted his gaze to the floor. "They're right. I'm selfish."

"They're just shocked and are having a hard time understanding," Beomgyu comforted, his tone sincere.

"I don't know what to do anymore," Yeonjun weakly said, flopping down onto the couch; his head in his hands.

Soobin sat down next to him before lacing their hands together. "Me either."

Beomgyu plopped down next to Soobin. "I'll try and talk to them since we're closer in age."

"Thanks Beomgyu," Soobin feebly smiled, not having the strength to be positive anymore. He didn't want their maknae to feel resentment towards them.

 

Once it was just Yeonjun and Soobin left in the living room, Soobin turned to the older; his brown eyes sparkling with tears. "Do you think we're doing the right thing?"

Yeonjun stared at Soobin. "What do you mean?"

Soobin sighed, shrugging. "Us. Being together."

The older was silent, the atmosphere between them tense as Yeonjun slipped his hands out of Soobin's. 

"I don't know anymore."

Soobin let out a shaky breath as he slowly looked away. He was afraid that they were going to start doubting themselves and their relationship or whatever they had wouldn't work out.

"Maybe we should take a break for a while just until Huening Kai and Taehyun cool off," Yeonjun quietly suggested, even though he didn't want to.

"M-maybe we sh-should," Soobin's voice cracked, tears rolling down his cheeks.

He didn't want it to be this way but they had no choice. They had just debuted and were already gaining fame. He didn't want to hold the group back because of the way he felt about Yeonjun even if that meant sacrificing his happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a bit short guys. I didn't know how to continue on from the last chapter. Huening Kai and Taehyun will be more supportive over the next few chapters so dw!
> 
> Anyways byeee <3


	8. Chapter 8

Soobin couldn't remember the last time he even had a proper sleep. He would stay up overthinking about everything and anything. With everything occurring, he hadn't had a good night's sleep for days and it was affecting his energy. Their dance instructor would scold him saying how he wasn't trying enough or putting effort but little did he know how much Soobin was forcing himself to be the best he could with what was going on between him and the others. 

Every single day was getting harder. Huening Kai couldn't even make eye contact with him or wouldn't even address him properly whilst Taehyun would stay quiet and it hurt. Hurt like hell.

Yeonjun and Soobin were spending less time with each other which took a toll on their relationship. Whenever they would make eye contact, Yeonjun looked as if he wanted to say something but was scared. Soobin missed him. Missed his touches. His lips. His everything. Huening Kai and Taehyun were ignoring Soobin and treating him as if he wasn't a member. 

Beomgyu was the only one who supported them throughout the way. He had tried to talk to the two youngest members but they were stubborn and didn't want to listen to what the auburn-haired boy had to say.

"Here," Beomgyu handed him a chocolate bar, "you need to eat something. You look like death."

Usually Soobin would laugh at Beomgyu's dry humour but instead he just silently took the chocolate bar whilst keeping his gaze on the floor.

"Me and Yeonjun are," Soobin paused, chewing on his bottom lip as tears gathered in his eyes. It pained him to even talk about it. "on a break."

Beomgyu stared at Soobin, empathetic for the older. "Just know that he's doing this because he cares about you."

Soobin nodded, trying to hold himself from having a mental breakdown. 

"Crying again?" Huening Kai mocked, a scowl on his face as he stared down at Beomgyu and Soobin.

Beomgyu rolled his eyes. "Stop, Huening Kai."

Ignoring Beomgyu, Huening Kai lowered down onto his knees to stare into Soobin's teary wide eyes. "You're pathetic hyung."

Soobin didn't utter a word, keeping eye contact with the raven-haired boy. He was too weak to defend himself or even tell the younger off. He had stopped fighting. 

"Yah, don't speak to him like that," Beomgyu grunted, pushing Huening Kai causing him to fall out of balance and land on his hands.

Huening Kai snapped his neck towards Beomgyu, throwing a mean glare at him. "Why are you even defending him? He's in the wrong! He's doing the wrong thing? Why am I...why am I the one who's in trouble?! Why-"

"Enough!" Soobin shouted, the arguing pair stopping to stare at him with shock.

Soobin stood up. He had enough of hearing the two constantly fight because of him. It was his fault they were like this. His fault for letting the way he felt about Yeonjun get the best of him. It had made him blind and forget what he had trained years for. To debut. To be loved by the world. To be somebody. "Huening Kai's right. I'm selfish and I'm in the wrong. I..I don't want to get in the way anymore."

Beomgyu blinked at him, mouth slightly agape. "Soobin hyung-"

"Beomgyu, it's okay. I'm going to fix everything," Soobin shakily said, wiping the tears away with the back of his hand.

The brown-haired boy rushed out of the practice room, barging past Yeonjun and Taehyun who were out talking in the hallway with serious expressions. They were both taken aback by Soobin rushing past them sobbing.

"Soobin!" Yeonjun worriedly called out, watching the younger storm out of the building.

"What should we do?" Taehyun unsurely asked, turning to stare at Yeonjun who looked conflicted whether or not to after Soobin.

"I know what I'm going to do," Yeonjun grunted, his eyes darkening as he spun around on his heels and headed towards the direction of the practice room where he marched inside with Taehyun following after him; trying to catch up with his fast strides.

"Yeonjun hyung don't do anything stupid," Taehyun pleaded, panting.

Yeonjun kept quiet as he walked over to Huening Kai and grabbed him by his shirt. Their maknae taken by surprise.

"You little shit. What the fuck did you say to Soobin?" Yeonjun yelled, tightening his grip on Huening Kai's shirt.

Huening Kai struggled to breathe, as he tried pulling Yeonjun's hand off of him. "I-I didn-"

"Hyung stop you're strangling him!"

"Let go Yeonjun you're hurting him!"

Taehyun and Beomgyu rushed over to the pair before tugging Yeonjun away from Huening Kai. Yeonjun kept his grip on the younger, anger overpowering his body.

"Is it so wrong to be in love? Why can't me and Soobin be together if we love each other? You don't understand anything!" Yeonjun spat, ignoring Taehyun and Beomgyu who were yelling at him and trying to pull him off.

Huening Kai tried to shake his head with all the strength he had left. "You and Soobin can-can't be together. You're not good enough for him."

Yeonjun scoffed, gritting his teeth. "And you are?"

"If it wasn't for you me and Soobin would be together!" Huening Kai snapped, causing everyone in the room to stop.

Yeonjun slowly released Huening Kai's shirt out of his grip as the younger dropped to the ground on his hands whilst wheezing and holding his chest.

"W-what?" Beomgyu stammered, not understanding if he heard correctly.

"Wait.." Taehyun started, glaring down at Huening Kai. "you made me do this because of a stupid crush."

"You..you.." Yeonjun stuttered, bursting into tears as he backed away, a wave of nausea hitting him. All this time they had thought that Huening Kai and Taehyun hated them but really Huening Kai had did this because he was jealous. Jealous that Soobin loved Yeonjun.

"I..I liked him since we were trainees and when we debuted I finally thought I could tell him how I felt and then..he started becoming closer with you and I couldn't..I couldn't take it. It was making me crazy. I had to do something to break you guys apart," Huening Kai explained, quivering.

Everyone couldn't believe what they were hearing. Huening Kai had feelings for Soobin all along? It didn't make sense how you could do that to someone that you supposedly claimed to like. It didn't seem right.

"You're to blame if anything happens to Soobin," Yeonjun hissed before storming out of the practice room and running out of the building to find the younger. Pulling his phone out of his back pocket, he unlocked and quickly tried to call Soobin but it went straight to voicemail.

He had to find him. He had to.

 

"How could you?" Beomgyu seethed, furrowing his eyebrows at Huening Kai.

Huening Kai averted their gazes, looking away. "I'm sorry."

"You made me hate Soobin hyung because things weren't going your way with him," Taehyun accused, folding his arms.

"I just wanted.." Huening Kai stopped, shaking his head. 

"Grow up Huening Kai. The world doesn't work that way. You don't get to ruin other people's lives and relationships just because someone doesn't feel the same way about you," Beomgyu yelled before angrily fleeing out of the practice room. 

It was just Huening Kai and Taehyun left. The silence suffocating as the pair just stared at each other. Taehyun not recognizing the person he was staring at.

"You need to fix things. Now," Taehyun said before walking out of the practice room.

Huening Kai cried as he pulled his knees to his chest whilst resting his head on the top the of his knees. He knew he had ruined things and he didn't know how he was going to fix it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to make this chapter seem interesting and melodramatic so idkk but yeah everything is a mess rn loool and idk if some of you had a feeling that Huening Kai sorta liked Soobin but if you did you're smart :)


	9. Chapter 9

Pathetic.

Selfish.

Weak.

Soobin cried as what Huening Kai said to him replayed in his mind over and over again like a broken record. The way the younger had stared at him with so much anger scared him. He had caused Huening Kai to be this way. To hate him. To say these things to him. If only he stopped caring so much about the way he felt about Yeonjun and focused on more important things, this wouldn't have happened. He wished he had never told Yeonjun how he felt. He should have lied or laughed it off but instead he gave in. He gave in not even caring or thinking about the consequences. 

Slowly Soobin realized he had brought himself to a park. An empty park. Even though it was practically dark, he still expected a few people but there was no one. Sniffling, the dark-haired boy plopped onto the nearest bench whilst hugging himself close. There was no point of him going back—all he ever did was make things worse even by being there he caused Beomgyu and Huening Kai to argue.

A vibration coming from his pocket snapped Soobin out of his thoughts as he fished around for it before pulling it out and blankly staring at the screen. Yeonjun's name flashing across the screen. Biting his lip, he shakily swiped his thumb across the screen answering the call.

"Soobin, where are you?!" Yeonjun worriedly shouted through the phone.

Soobin stayed silent, the phone pressed against his ear as he stared around the park—his vision blurry from his tears. "It doesn't matter anymore. I don't matter."

"Yah..don't say that! Just tell me where you are Soobin! I don't care how dark it is I'm coming to find you," Yeonjun desperately said. Soobin could feel his pain and worry from his voice.

He hesitated, not wanting to be found. He didn't want to talk to anyone right now. All he wanted to do was to be by himself. Things were better off like this. He wouldn't cause any more problems. 

"I have to go," Soobin muttered, barely above a whisper.

"Soobin! Soobin! Please just tell me where you are. Don't do anything stupid," Yeonjun begged, his voice cracking.

"Why do you care so much? We're on a break remember," Soobin bitterly said, remembering how Yeonjun slipped his hands out of his when saying he wanted to take a break.

The line was silent as Soobin wondered if Yeonjun had hung up, ready to end the call.

"I love you! That's why I care so much because I love you and I can't help but love you. I know I've-"

Soobin's eyes widened at what he just heard. Yeonjun loved him? Loved? They had never crossed that barrier yet and it was new for Soobin to hear that Yeonjun loved him. He wanted to hear it again. Again and again.

"You lov-love me?" Soobin stuttered, the word 'love' slowly rolling off his tongue.

"Yes now please Soobin. Tell me where you are," Yeonjun said.

Soobin sighed. "I'm at the park."

"Stay put I'm coming."

Soobin hummed before hanging up and gently dropping his phone on his lap. His stomach was fluttering knowing that Yeonjun loved him. 

If Yeonjun loved him then it wouldn't be a problem if Soobin said it back but he still was unsure of what he really felt. Was it love? Infatuation? Lust?

He didn't know.

 

"Beomgyu wait," Taehyun called after the auburn-haired boy whilst rushing towards him. Beomgyu didn't stop, he kept walking causing Taehyun to have to catch up to him. "Hyung!"

Taehyun grabbed a hold of Beomgyu's arm causing the older to stop walking and turn around with annoyed scowl. "What Taehyun?"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being such a jerk to you. Yeonjun hyung. Soobin," Taehyun softly said, his grip on Beomgyu's arm loosening.

Beomgyu shook his head, yanking his arm out of Taehyun's grip. "Then why did you go along with Huening Kai? What did you get out of being a bully?"

"He said-I-" Taehyun groaned, not knowing how to explain himself.

Beomgyu silently stared at him for a few seconds before rolling his eyes and spinning around on his heels. 

"We made a promise to each other! That if I were to help him, he'd help me."

Pausing, Beomgyu scoffed whilst turning around—his arms folded whilst glaring at the younger with a look of disapproval. "And what would he help you with, huh?"

Taehyun opened and closed his mouth like a fish underwater as he scratched the back of his neck. "He..he'd help me tell you how I felt."

Beomgyu's face fell as he blinked at Taehyun, his brain trying to comprehend the words that just came out of Taehyun's mouth. "W-what?"

"I-I like you. A lot," Taehyun mumbled, shyly casting his gaze to the shiny wooden floor.

Not knowing how to react, Beomgyu slowly started backing away. "I can't do this right now. I-I have to go."

"Hyung, please. Let's just talk about it," Taehyun begged, tears forming in his eyes whilst staring at the scared expression on Beomgyu's face.

"Soobin needs us," Beomgyu trembled before walking away leaving an upset Taehyun to stare after him.

 

Soobin's breath hitched in his throat as his eyes landed on Yeonjun who was bent over—holding his knees whilst panting near the park entrance. 

"Idiot," Soobin muttered under his breath as he bit back a smile from spreading on his face. 

Yeonjun walked over to where the younger was standing expectantly near the bench and pulled him into a tight hug. "Don't ever run away like that again. You scared me."

Soobin squeezed his eyes shut, his body melting into Yeonjun's embrace as the sweet smell of Yeonjun's shampoo evaded his nostrils causing Soobin to sigh. He missed this. 

Suddenly, Soobin felt empty as he opened his eyes to see that Yeonjun had pulled away and was nervously staring at him. "There's something you need to know about Huening Kai."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guysssss! I decided to update twice because I didn't update yesterday since I was out basically all day and felt bad! But sorry this chapter was kinda short I wanted to end this chapter with a cliffhanger ;)


	10. Chapter 10

Soobin patiently waited for Yeonjun to continue as the older anxiously averted his gaze and instead opted to sit down on the bench. Soobin sat down next to him—his eyes never leaving Yeonjun. "Hyung, what is it?"

Yeonjun exasperatedly groaned, running a hand through his hair before turning to stare at Soobin with a look of confliction. "Huening Kai...he has..feelings for you."

The dark-haired boy's eyes slowly widened, confusion etched on his features as he blinked at the older—unsure of what to say. For a long time, Soobin had thought that Huening Kai had hated him and wanted nothing to with him. To find out that the younger had feelings for him made Soobin question everything that had happened between them. Why had he treated Soobin like this? Why did Taehyun turn against him as well? 

"How do you know?" Soobin faintly asked, after a few moments of silence.

Yeonjun nibbled on his bottom lip, guiltily casting his gaze to the floor. "We got into a fight and I couldn't control my-"

"A fight? What the hell happened hyung?" Soobin worriedly asked, instantly sitting up. He wished he had never ran out. After all, he was the reason everything was going wrong. He was the reason his members were fighting.

"He made me angry and I just fucking snapped," Yeonjun gritted, clenching his hands into fists as he rocked back and forth on the bench. His mind racing back to the exact moment his hands tightly gripped onto Huening Kai's shirt. The younger sputtering and choking. He hadn't meant to lay his hands on him but Huening Kai had provoked him.

Soobin raised an eyebrow at Yeonjun questioningly. "What do you mean you..snapped?"

"I could have killed him if Beomgyu and Taehyun didn't pull me off," Yeonjun whispered, squeezing his eyes shut.

Soobin was silent as his eyes travelled up to the night starry sky. The golden stars flickering in the pitch black sky. He didn't know how to feel, what to do or what to say. Everything was a mess and he didn't know where to start to fix it. Yeonjun had hurt their maknae because of him. Because of stupid Soobin. Stupid. Stupid. He always ruined things. Why couldn't he have just buried his feelings inside of him? He regretted telling Yeonjun or Beomgyu how he felt. If only he could have foreseen the future, he would have done everything in his power to stop this drift between his members. It was affecting their relationship, their performances and their whole group dynamic.

Slowly, fans would start noticing how they were all starting to become distant with each other. Their managers and staff would notice. He had to do something. Something to make this better. Whatever this was.

"We need to stop doing this," Soobin piped up, fighting back tears.

Yeonjun looked at Soobin, sadness clouding his features. Immediately realizing what the younger was talking about. "Soobin-"

"Hyung this isn't right anymore. Don't you see? This thing that we have is fucking up the group," Soobin choked, his emotions getting harder to control as tears started rolling down his cheeks. He brought his hands up to his face as he wiped them away whilst avoiding Yeonjun's gaze.

"Soobin, I love you and that isn't gonna change," Yeonjun cried, holding himself from touching Soobin knowing that he would only pull away.

Soobin snorted. "Maybe you should stop loving me. I'm not good for you."

Yeonjun was quiet as his face darkened, anger clouding his vision. "You know, every time that we get somewhere you always run away. Run away from the truth."

"This time there's nothing to run away from," Soobin blankly said, standing up from the bench. The soft breeze blowing strands of his hair out of place.

"What about Huening Kai, huh?" Yeonjun grunted, also standing up to stand in front of Soobin.

Soobin nonchalantly shrugged. "What about him?"

Yeonjun hesitated, his gaze shifting to the park around them. "What are you gonna tell him?"

"I don't feel the same way about him," Soobin truthfully said. 

They stayed in silence, watching the world around them. Yeonjun stared at Soobin, his eyes full of desperation. "Please don't do this Soobin. I love you."

Their eyes locked as Soobin bit his lip. "I don't love you."

Yeonjun tearily chuckled, shaking his head. "You don't mean that."

Soobin knew that he had no choice but to do this. To fix things he had to do this. He had to sacrifice the way he felt about Yeonjun. He had to focus on what he trained years for. To debut and he wasn't going to let anything get in the way. Not even Yeonjun.

"I'm sorry hyung but I don't love you. We should just end this," Soobin bitterly said, breaking eye contact with Yeonjun. 

Yeonjun reached over to grab Soobin's hand but the younger had already started walking off. 

Little did he know how much Soobin's heart was breaking every step. As soon as he was out of sight from Yeonjun, he burst into tears. Recklessly sobbing as he covered his mouth whilst slowly making his way back to their dorm. Their manager was gonna be pissed with him and everyone but that was the least of his worries.

He had messed up big time with Yeonjun and he knew there was no going back. 

 

Panting, Beomgyu halted—bending over to catch his breath. His mind constantly repeating what Taehyun had said to him. To be truthful, he didn't know how he felt about the younger. He was too focused on finding Soobin to even care. He just wanted to know their leader was safe.

Despite it being pitch black, Beomgyu could make out a figure walking towards his direction. It looked exactly like...Soobin.

"Soobin hyung!" Beomgyu shouted, rushing over to the older.

He realized something wasn't right when he noticed Soobin was crying.

"Hyung, what happened?" Beomgyu asked, slowly walking over to Soobin but was stopped by the older.

"Pleas-please Beomgyu jus-just leav-leave it," Soobin stuttered, tears running down his cheeks.

"Soobin, if it's Yeonjun hyung we can fix it. You guys just need to-"

"No! No! No! We're done. Everything is done! There's no need to talk anymore. I don't..I don't feel the same way about him anymore," Soobin snapped, causing Beomgyu to flinch in shock at the older's harsh tone.

"Hyung, you don't mean that. You're not thinking straight," Beomgyu tried to convince Soobin but only infuriated the dark-haired boy even more.

"I am thinking straight," Soobin paused, locking eyes with Beomgyu who looked at him with sympathy. "I'm doing what's best for the group. For the fans."

Beomgyu tiredly sighed, giving up. He knew he couldn't do anything to change Soobin's mind anymore. "You need to know something about-"

"Huening Kai," Soobin finished, his eyes nervously shifting to the pavement. "I know."

Beomgyu didn't know what else to say, his mind blank. "I.."

"I'm going back to the dorm. Tell everyone that manager hyung is gonna be worried," Soobin said before walking past Beomgyu and continuing down the road—his hands buried in his pockets.

Beomgyu slightly turned around, watching the older walk away. He needed to do something. Anything. Anything to fix this mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update guys! And sorry if this chapter seems a bit disoriented, I quickly wrote this and some parts might not make sense but I hope you guys still enjoyed the chapter. I really did try my best and sorry if this isn't as a good of a chapter as the other ones but please bare with me :(


	11. Chapter 11

Huening Kai didn't realize how long he had been holed up hiding away in their practice room—he stayed in the same position; curled up in a ball with his arms hugging his knees. He only blamed himself for the mess he caused. The younger had wished he was upfront and instead told Soobin how he felt instead of letting jealousy get the best of him. He shouldn't have used Taehyun to get what he wanted. It was wrong, he was aware of that but at the same time deep down he was afraid. Afraid of facing reality. Soobin was in love with Yeonjun and he couldn't change that.

"We should head back now."

The raven-haired boy slowly lifted his head up where it was buried in his knees before locking eyes with Taehyun who looked sad and distraught. "Hyung are you-"

"Don't ask. It's not your problem anymore," Taehyun abruptly cut in, glaring down at Huening Kai who sadly shrunk into himself at the harshness of Taehyun's voice.

"I'm sorry hyung. For getting you into this mess," Huening Kai said, his eyes never leaving the floor.

A long period of silence followed after causing Huening Kai to almost think that Taehyun left until the older finally spoke. 

"I told Beomgyu how I felt."

The younger stared up at Taehyun with shock, his mouth agape. "What did he say?"

Taehyun slightly shrugged whilst dropping onto the floor next to Huening Kai. "He couldn't do this right now."

Huening Kai chewed on his bottom lip, his eyes flashing with guilt. "It's my fault. I..ruined everything. I let my stupid jealousy get in the way. And now-"

Taehyun reached over to place a comforting hand on Huening Kai's knee. "We can fix this. We just need to talk to them. Especially Soobin hyung. He's in a messed up place right now."

Huening Kai nodded, tears running down his cheeks. "I'm gonna try hyung. T-To make things b-be-better. For everyone. For the group."

"We'll do it together," Taehyun reassured, grabbing a hold of Huening Kai's hand.

 

Beomgyu mentally cursed as he fumbled around in his pocket for his vibrating phone before pulling it out. It was Yeonjun. The older had texted him several times.

I'm at the park. 

The auburn-haired boy instantly typed out a reply before sending it.

Stay there I'm coming!

He made his way over to the empty park, entering inside and gently closing the gate before spotting Yeonjun on the bench and walking over to him. Yeonjun had his head in his hands. Beomgyu sighed as he hesitantly sat down next to Yeonjun.

"What happened?" Beomgyu asked, fiddling with his fingers.

Yeonjun slowly sat up, leaning against the bench as he stared into space. His brown eyes glossy with tears. "I..I don't even know..everything was fine at first. Until-"

"Until you told him Huening Kai had feelings for him," Beomgyu finished, closing his eyes for a brief moment before opening them. "He didn't take it well."

Yeonjun turned to stare at Beomgyu, fighting back tears. "He..he said he didn't love me Beomgyu."

Beomgyu grabbed Yeonjun's hand. "You know he didn't mean that. He says stupid things when he's stressed."

"He looked me deep in my eyes and said he-he didn't love me," Yeonjun's voice broke as he burst out into a heart-wrenching sob. His eyes squeezed shut.

Beomgyu helplessly watched the older breakdown, his eyes clouded with compassion and sympathy for Yeonjun. "Hyung, it's okay. Everything will be okay. Don't worry. We'll sort everything out."

He had never witnessed their oldest member in so much pain like this. Of course, Yeonjun had cried in front of him before but not like this. Yeonjun was hurting. So badly and Beomgyu felt like he couldn't do anything but watch.

"I-I love him so much," Yeonjun whimpered, immediately causing Beomgyu to engulf him into a tight warm hug. 

"I know you do," Beomgyu softly said, rubbing Yeonjun's back. "Everything will be okay."

 

"It's getting late," Huening Kai tiredly sighed, staring up at the clock on their wall before standing up and stretching.

"Everyone's probably back at the dorm. We should start going now," Taehyun yawned, picking himself up from the floor before making his way out of the practice room—Huening Kai following after him. 

"Ah, the lights!" Huening Kai whispered, rushing back inside to switch off all the lights before closing the door and speed walking to catch up to Taehyun who was already halfway down the hallway.

"I hope Soobin hyung is okay. He was really upset when I last saw him," Taehyun nervously said once they were out of the building. Only the staff would stay behind to keep everything in check. If their manager knew they were still out late, they would be in trouble. A lot of trouble.

Huening Kai walked side by side Taehyun, the sounds of their trainers slamming against the rocky pavement causing him to slightly grimace. "I hope so as well. I feel bad knowing that I'm the reason he's in pain. I've been a burden to him. To everyone."

Taehyun halted, pulling Huening Kai's arm and spinning him around to face him. Their eyes meeting. "You're not a burden. No one is. Yeah you shouldn't have been mean to Soobin. We both shouldn't but that doesn't mean you can't talk to him and change."

Huening Kai let Taehyun's reassuring words sink into him as he tearily blinked at him. "I'll promise to talk to Soobin hyung and fix things if you try and talk to Beomgyu."

"Pinky swear?" Taehyun smiled, holding his tiny pinky out.

Huening Kai grinned before wrapping his pinky around Taehyun's. "Pinky swear."

 

"Hyung, we should head back now. Everyone's probably worried about us," Beomgyu said, pulling away from Yeonjun who slowly nodded.

Yeonjun wiped away his tears with his fingers before standing up and holding his hand out. Beomgyu took it and pulled himself up.

"Soobin will come around," Beomgyu encouraged, his hands slipping out of Yeonjun's and instead opting to link their arms together. "Don't worry hyung. Everything will be okay again."

"Everything will be okay again," Yeonjun repeated, grinning at Beomgyu.

 

Soobin pulled the covers over his body as he shut his eyes. He wasn't in the mood to talk to the others today. Right now, all he wanted to do was to sleep. Sleep his thoughts away. He couldn't help but replay what he said to Yeonjun.

I don't love you.

He hadn't realized tears were slipping out of his eyes and rolling down his cheeks until he felt the wet substance soak his pillow case. He knew that Yeonjun wouldn't want to talk to him neither would Beomgyu, Huening Kai or Taehyun. He thought distancing himself from Yeonjun would be better for everyone. The group. The fans. The company.

He needed to focus on one thing and that was being the idol that his fans wanted him to be. Not soppy Soobin. The boy that didn't know what he wanted or was too scared of falling in love but Choi Soobin. The idol that was confident. Wasn't afraid.

He needed to be Choi Soobin and he was going to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slowly everything will start to be looking up. Soobin will finally realize that he loves Yeonjun so don't worry guys like I said not every relationship is supposed to happy and I'm trying to show that to get to the end of the tunnel to that bright shiny light at the end you have to go through the tunnel (wow that was a lame example)
> 
> Anyways thank you guys for all the lovely comments
> 
> Love you alllll <3


	12. Chapter 12

"Soobin."

"Soobin."

The brown-haired boy jolted awake, his eyes snapping open as he saw Yeonjun standing over him with a look of worry. It took Soobin a few minutes to fully wake up as he silently tugged his sheets off his body before climbing out of bed—completely ignoring Yeonjun who was watching him.

"Manager hyung says we have to meet him at the practice room," Yeonjun said, trying to fill in the tense silence that was practically suffocating. 

"Thanks for telling me," Soobin nonchalantly replied, the expression on his face blank and stone cold. He didn't want to act this way towards the older but he knew that this was the only way for them to progress as a group and move forward. This relationship that he had with Yeonjun was causing problems. Not just for him but for everyone. 

Yeonjun folded his arms, scoffing at Soobin. "Why are you being like this? Can't you just talk to me like a normal person?"

"Well..we aren't normal people," Soobin shot back, causing Yeonjun's brown eyes to widen.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Soobin slowly shook his head, not wanting the argument to worsen as he opted in keeping quiet and continuing to make his bed. Yeonjun was standing behind him, tears welling in his eyes as he chewed on his bottom lip. "Please..Soobin. Don't be like this."

The younger hesitated, stopping to deeply inhale. He could tell that Yeonjun was hurting so badly. Soobin just wanted to turn around and kiss the living hell out of him but he knew that he couldn't. He had to stick to the plan. The plan that they would all thank him for later.

"I'm not being like anything. Just plain old Soobin," Soobin shrugged, his tone unwavering. 

Yeonjun shakily sighed, slowly spinning around to walk out of their bedroom leaving Soobin alone. 

Soobin dropped onto his bed, pulling his favorite blue plushie close to his chest as he squeezed his eyes shut. He was conflicted knowing that at the same time he could stop acting like this but then he was scared. Scared that their love wouldn't last and it would jeopardize everything that they had trained years for. He couldn't sacrifice everyone's dreams for his feelings towards Yeonjun. It wasn't right and it didn't feel right knowing that anyone could find out about their relationship. It terrified him.

"Hyung."

Soobin opened his eyes and slightly sat up as he blinked at Huening Kai who was standing in the doorway. This was the first time in a while that Huening Kai had addressed him without being mean. It made him feel happy knowing that Huening Kai was finally being himself again but at the same time he felt strange as he was aware of the fact that their maknae had feelings towards him. Feelings that he couldn't return.

"Can I sit?" Huening Kai uncertaintly asked, moving towards Soobin's bed. 

Soobin nodded, adjusting his body into a sitting position as Huening Kai sat on the edge of his bed whilst nervously fiddling with his fingers. "What's wrong?"

Soobin was already aware of what Huening Kai was going to say but chose to pretend that he didn't know. He knew that if he told the younger that he already knew, Huening Kai would be mad at the other members which would result in another argument..caused by him. Once again.

"I.." Huening Kai whispered, his voice trembling as he stared at the floor. Too anxious to look the older in the eyes. "I'm sorry for acting that way towards you. I've been a horrible dongsaeng and it wasn't fair on you. I know how stressed you've been especially with our debut and everything. I was only making things harder for you and I'm..sorry hyung."

The room was silent as Soobin processed Huening Kai's words, the annoyance that he felt against the younger dissipating. "I forgive you," he reached over to grab Huening Kai's hand and hold it in his own. "I know that what you saw must have made you feel angry and I'm sorry for putting Yeonjun above you guys."

"It's okay hyung. I wasn't angry just hurt. I've realized how much you really like Yeonjun and I've probably ruined that now," Huening Kai glumly sighed.

Soobin couldn't let the younger think that it was his fault. "No, of course you didn't ruin anything. There wasn't really much to begin with. I mean..it's all over now so-"

"Wa-wait, what do you me-mean?" Huening Kai stuttered, snapping his head towards Soobin as they locked eyes.

Soobin widely blinked at him, taken aback by Huening Kai's sudden interest. "I..we had an argument and now we're not really talking."

Huening Kai's mouth formed an 'O' shape as he slowly looked away. "I thought everything was okay with you guys."

"I did too then I noticed I was constantly messing things up," Soobin quietly said, biting his lip.

Huening Kai quickly shook his head, disagreeing with Soobin. "I've been the one messing things up and I wish I could go back and change what happened."

Not knowing how to reply, they both stayed quiet. Drowning in the silence filling the small bedroom until Huening Kai spoke up.

"Maybe you should try talking to Yeonjun hyung. He really loves you."

Soobin thoughtfully stared at the younger, eyeing him strangely. It was strange how Huening Kai was encouraging him to fix things with Yeonjun considering the fact that he liked him as well. "But-"

"I know that you know that I have feelings for you and it's okay if you don't feel the same way," Huening Kai interrupted, a tiny timid smile gracing his lips. 

Soobin's cheeks bloomed red as he awkwardly averted his gaze, scratching the back of his neck. "Wh-what are you tal-talking about?"

Huening Kai let out a laugh whilst covering his mouth with his fist. "You're so adorable when you blush hyung."

Soobin's face dropped as the familiar words caused him to realize that he's been the biggest idiot ever. "Shit. I have to go."

"Where are you going?" Huening Kai confusedly called out watching Soobin scramble to his feet and rush out of the bedroom.

Soobin ran into the living room and only saw Beomgyu and Taehyun present. They were both sitting on the couch, sharing a bowl of popcorn whilst immersed in a movie. He was definitely going to interrogate Beomgyu about it later.

"Where's Yeonjun hyung?" Soobin asked, seizing their attention.

Beomgyu and Taehyun rotated around in their seats to face a wide-eyed Soobin, their smiles dropping once noticing how serious Soobin looked.

"He went to the park with mana-"

Before Beomgyu could even finish his sentence, Soobin was already out of the door—determined to sort things out and fix things with Yeonjun. He knew that he had been such an oblivious and dumb jerk to the older but it wasn't too late to change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN:
> 
> An update since it's Fridayyyy!
> 
> Things are slowly starting to look up in this story...or is it? Hehehehe.
> 
> Anyways I hope you enjoyed this chapter, sorry if it's shorter than usual!
> 
> But thank you guys for all the support and love <3


	13. Chapter 13

Heavy rain showered over him as Soobin slightly grimaced—his whole body soaked from head to toe. Maybe it was a bad idea to go out in the rain but he needed to find Yeonjun and apologize for acting like an idiot even if it meant coming down with a little cold; he'd survive. 

His vision was slight blurry, raindrops getting into his eyes as he halted deciding to call the older instead to save time. He clumsily fumbled around in his pocket resulting in his phone to fall onto the pavement. 

"Shit," Soobin cursed, immediately bending down to pick up the phone which was now wet. He could feel his heart drop as he flipped his phone around and saw that the screen was cracked. 

Rising back up, he attempted to turn on his phone but it didn't turn on. The screen black. He could imagine manager hyung yelling at him for being reckless but it wasn't exactly his fault. The phone dropped out of his pocket.

"Soobin?"

The familiar voice made Soobin spin around to see that Yeonjun was standing a few metres away from him. He was also soaked too, his clothes stuck to his body.

"Hyung I'm sorry for being such a dumb idiot," Soobin's voice cracked as tears rolled down his cheeks—mixing with the rain.

Yeonjun playfully smiled, rolling his eyes before walking over to Soobin and gently wiping his tears away with his fingers. "You don't need to cry Soobin-ah."

Soobin shook his head whilst hiccuping. "I didn't wanna be mean to you. I just wanted to fix everything and I thought maybe if I kept telling myself that I didn't love you then soon I'd believe it."

The older was quiet, his chocolate-brown eyes locking with Soobin's. "That day..when you said you didn't love me-"

"I lied," Soobin cut in, tearily laughing. "I'm a horrible liar."

A small smile graced Yeonjun's lips as his fingers raked through strands of Soobin's matted hair. "I know."

Soobin slightly shivered, the feeling of Yeonjun touching him causing goosebumps to rise against his skin and also the fact that it was freezing cold. 

Yeonjun must have noticed Soobin shivering as he unzipped his hoodie and threw it over the youngers shoulders. "Come on, let's go somewhere warm to talk."

The action made Soobin's heart melt as he shyly nodded, following after Yeonjun into a nearby brightly lit café.

The bell on top of the glass door dinging as they both stepped inside. The place looked warm and cosy, most of the interior designed with wood. There was barely any customers which made Soobin feel better considering the fact that they were newly debuted idols.

"You go take a seat and I'll order," Yeonjun said, his eyes fixated on the menu above.

Soobin hummed before walking further down into the shop and choose a two seated table that was right against the window. He sat down whilst sliding Yeonjun's hoodie off of him and placing it on his lap.

Soobin was nervous and he didn't even know why. Maybe it was because he was planning to tell Yeonjun that he loved him back. He wasn't avid on talking about feelings but he knew that he couldn't hide any longer. It was now or never and he chose now.

"I didn't know what to get so I asked them to surprise us."

Soobin glanced at Yeonjun who was walking over to the table with two cups of coffee in his hands. 

Yeonjun handed Soobin a cup with a glint of mischievousness flashing in his eyes. "This one's for you."

The brown-haired boy threw him a suspicious and wary look before hesitantly reaching out to grab the cup. He pressed the cup against his lips, the sweet and milky taste filling his throat. Gently placing the cup back onto the table, he bit back a smile. "It's nice. Better than I expected."

"Good you like it," Yeonjun said, taking a sip of his own drink.

A minute of silence passed between them as they were both occupied on finishing their drinks. Yeonjun was dazedly staring out the window, watching the night sky whilst Soobin eyed him. 

"Beomgyu and Taehyun told me that manager hyung came to the park with you," Soobin brought up, causing Yeonjun to turn to stare at him.

Yeonjun nodded. "Yeah he did but I told him I wanted to be on my own even though he didn't think it was a good idea but I told him the reason why."

Soobin's eyes slowly widened as he blinked at Yeonjun. A look of panic etched on his features. "What reason did you tell him?"

Yeonjun noticed Soobin's change of demeanour, a chuckle escaping his lips. "Don't worry. I didn't tell him about..us. I just said we got into an argument and I needed some space to think but he gave me a curfew which was seven."

"It's past seven," Soobin nervously said, his leg bouncing up and down.

"Relax Soobinie. We won't be home that late," Yeonjun reassured, the nickname causing Soobin to blush.

"Since when did you have a nickname for me?" Soobin scoffed, changing the subject.

Yeonjun playfully winked. "Since now. Soobinie fits you."

"Hyung," Soobin whined, his lips forming a pout. "That's embarrassing. Don't call me that."

Yeonjun leaned forward, intensely gazing into Soobin's eyes. "Why not? It's cute."

Soobin timidly averted Yeonjun's gaze not realizing the older was leaning in until he felt another pair of lips connecting with his own.

The kiss only lasting a couple of seconds before Soobin pulled away—touching his lips like it was sacred. He stared at Yeonjun with wide eyes. "We c-can't kiss in public hyung."

"So what? If I wanna kiss you, I'll kiss you," Yeonjun nonchalantly shrugged, smiling.

Soobin rolled his eyes, leaning back into his seat. "What if..I don't want you to kiss me?"

Yeonjun bit his lips, raising an eyebrow at the younger. "Are you sure about that?"

Soobin hesitated, glancing at Yeonjun for a second before looking away and folding his arms—not saying anything.

Yeonjun frowned, sensing that something was troubling Soobin. "What's wrong? Is it because I kissed-"

"No of course not hyung. It's just," Soobin paused, conflicted. "I talked to Huening Kai today before I went out to find you."

Yeonjun's face slightly dropped at the mention of their maknae alone in a room with Soobin. "Oh."

Soobin blinked at him. "Hyung I don't like him in that way..you know that right?"

"I know. I just don't trust him alone with you," Yeonjun said, looking down at his cup.

Soobin reached over to grab Yeonjun's hand. "Huening Kai knows I love you and you only."

Yeonjun immediately looked up at Soobin, his eyes lighting up. "You..you love me?"

"Of course I do you idiot," Soobin beamed, his dimples on display.

The pair locked eyes for a while before Soobin realized that it was getting later. "We should head back now before manager hyung cuts our heads off."

Yeonjun grimaced, staring out the window. The rain had gotten heavier as it pattered against the windows. "Shit, it's still raining."

"We can't walk in the rain. We'll end up getting sick," Soobin sighed, racking his head for an idea. "Maybe we could get an uber."

Yeonjun sheepishly stared at Soobin. "I spent the money that I had on our drinks."

Soobin narrowed his eyes at him. "Idiot."

"Yah, at least say thank you. Ungrateful brat," Yeonjun muttered under his breath.

Soobin stuck his tongue out at Yeonjun before standing up from his seat. "Well now we have no choice but to walk home in the rain. Here," he tossed the older his hoodie back. 

Yeonjun put his hoodie on before getting up and following after Soobin out of the shop. The rain instantly wetting them.

"Hold my hand."

Soobin cutely scrunched his face up, the rain getting in his eyes as he stared at Yeonjun with confusion. "What?"

Yeonjun didn't say anything as he laced his fingers with Soobin's causing the younger's heart to beat faster as they walked side by side with their hands intertwined.

"Hyung," Soobin timidly called out.

"Yes Soobinie," Yeonjun said.

Soobin smiled. "It does feel warmer."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLOOO GUYS! The next chapter will focus more on Beomgyu and Taehyun's progress in their relationship and a little bit of Huening Kai and Soobin.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I tried to add a lot of fluff ;)
> 
> Anyways thank you so much for all the support and love on this book! 
> 
> Byeee <3


	14. Chapter 14

"He went to the park with mana-"

Before Beomgyu could finish his sentence, he watched the older rush out of their dorm with wide eyes. 

Taehyun raised an eyebrow, staring at Beomgyu expectantly. "Where do you think he's rushing to?"

"Probably to see Yeonjun hyung," Beomgyu answered, shrugging whilst spanning his attention back to the movie that was playing. All he knew was that they had another argument and Yeonjun had said he needed time to clear his head. 

Taehyun chewed on his bottom lip, eyeing Beomgyu despite the older keeping his gaze on the television. Despite them going back to the way they were, he felt like he was missing something. They had still never talked about that day when Taehyun told him about his feelings. It hurt him having to pretend like it never happened. He couldn't control the way he felt about Beomgyu.

"Hyung."

Beomgyu hummed, their eyes meeting. "Yes?"

"Are we gonna keep pretending like it never happened?" Taehyun hesitantly asked, nervously fiddling with his fingers.

Beomgyu could feel his breath hitch in his throat as he looked away, slightly coughing whilst covering his mouth. "Wh-what are you talking about?"

That was a lie. Beomgyu knew exactly what he was talking about but chose not to speak about it because he wasn't ready to tell Taehyun how he felt. What if it changed the next day? What if his feelings went away? He didn't want to disappoint the younger by admitting something he wasn't even sure about himself.

Taehyun let out an annoyed huff. "The day I told you I liked you, remember?"

"Ah.." Beomgyu quietly breathed, sheepishly scratching the back of his neck. 

Taehyun rolled his eyes as he stood up—the pillow that he was holding, slipped out of his hands. "I'm gonna take a nap."

Beomgyu didn't want him to go as he straightened up and reached over to grab Taehyun, holding him back from leaving. "I'm sorry..if I upset you Taehyun-ah. Just stay," he pointed at the television, "we haven't finished the movie yet."

Taehyun silently stared down at him before slowly nodding and lowering himself back into his seat on the couch.

"Hyung, you're still holding on to my wrist," Taehyun said after a few minutes.

Beomgyu slightly jolted as he quickly let go of Taehyun's wrist. "Sorry."

His cheeks flushed red as his body tensed in embarrassment. It wasn't like he intentionally held onto Taehyun's wrist. He must have not noticed.

Taehyun held back a smile from stretching across his lips as he leaned back into the couch, fixating his eyes on the movie they were watching. 

 

Huening Kai sighed as he cuddled into Soobin's favorite plushie. When Soobin wasn't around, he would opt in cuddling the soft plushie. It made him feel better.

He just wished that he was the one that Soobin loved. Not Yeonjun. He wanted the older all to himself but Yeonjun was always in the way. He tried to be happy for Soobin but he couldn't. All he could feel was sadness and regret for waiting too long to talk about the way he felt. Maybe if he had approached Soobin first, they'd be together.

He hated watching the couple flirt, it made his blood boil. It should have been him. 

It should have been him.

 

"I wonder if Yeonjun and Soobin are okay," Beomgyu worriedly said, watching the heavy rain patter against their windows.

"Their with manager hyung. I'm sure they'll be fine," Taehyun reassured, walking over to comfort Beomgyu oblivious to Huening Kai entering the living room.

"Are they still not back yet?" Huening Kai asked, rubbing his eyes whilst stepping into the kitchen and opening the fridge before pulling out a carton of apple juice.

Beomgyu and Taehyun exchanged a knowing glance before turning around to face Huening Kai.

Taehyun nervously stared at the boy, afraid to ask. "Did you tell Soobin yet?"

Huening Kai halted, slowly placing the glass back onto the table. "No..I didn't get a chanc-"

"What do you mean you didn't get a chance?" Beomgyu snapped, running a hand through his hair. "If he finds out what you did from someone else it'll ruin him."

Taehyun tried to calm the older down by gently placing a hand on his shoulder. "Hyung relax."

Huening Kai spun around to glare at the pair. "He won't find out because you're not gonna say anything to him about it."

Beomgyu gaped at him, scoffing. "Are you kidding me? You're asking me to keep this from him?"

"Huening Kai," Taehyun started, shaking his head. "We can't keep this from him. It's not right. What if she calls him?"

"Don't worry I blocked the number and deleted it when he was occupied," Huening Kai slowly said.

Beomgyu was ready to pounce on the younger but was once again held back Taehyun who threw him a pleading look. 

"This is all gonna blow up on your face Huening Kai," Beomgyu seethed.

Huening Kai stepped closer to Beomgyu, their faces practically inches apart. "Like I said he won't find out because we're gonna keep this between us."

Beomgyu pursed his lips as he stared into Huening Kai's dark brown irises.

Huening Kai was never really sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MWAHAHA I made Huening Kai so evil in this chapter and idek why looool. Beomgyu isn't ready to tell Taehyun about how he feels yet and Yeonjun and Soobin are on a honeymoon (jk)
> 
> In the next few chapters it'll be revealed who this mysterious person they're talking about. If you already figured it out then you're smart ;)
> 
> Anywaysss thank you for reading! 
> 
> \+ I forgot to mention this chapter happened whilst Soobin went out to look for Yeonjun.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait for this update! I slightly forgot where I last ended the chapter so I hope this chapter isn't a mess. Thank you so much for always leaving sweet comments on this book. I know I have a long way to improve my writing and thank you for baring with me.
> 
> A lot of you guys assumed the mysterious "she" was Soobin or Yeonjun's ex but nopeee it was his moooom! In this book, Soobin doesn't have a close relationship with his mom since she wanted him to pursue his studies instead of being an idol. He left on bad terms so Huening Kai doing that just added fuel to the fire.
> 
> Anywaysss the next chapters are gonna be fireeee since I have so many ideas now after a long week of school and seeing my friends. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed, see you in the next chapter which will probably be uploaded today.
> 
> Byeee <3

"What the hell is going on with each and every one of you?" Jaehyuk, their manager, shouted causing everyone especially Soobin to flinch as he ducked his head down—his gaze casted to the floor. Ever since that day Yeonjun and him came back late, their manager had been on their case twenty-four seven and it was hard to even get time for himself. If it wasn't stage promotions or interviews, they would be drowning in sweat from practicing their choreography or recording songs. Soobin was spending less time with Yeonjun—not out of choice. The only alone time they could get was bedtime. The younger would sneak into Yeonjun's bed and snuggle up with him.

Jaehyuk paced back and forth, his hands on his hips as curse words constantly spurred out of his mouth. "You haven't trained for years just to slack off. There's so many trainees that would kill to be in your position yet you take it for granted. Are you guys that lazy you can't-"

"I'm tired of this," Huening Kai snapped, resulting in Jaehyuk's mouth to snap shut in shock as everyone turned to stare at the maknae with wide eyes. Huening Kai had never talked back to his hyungs before or anyone in particular. 

"Be quiet Huening Kai," Beomgyu gritted through his teeth as he reached over to grab the raven-haired boy's wrist to prevent him from doing anything stupid.

"Yah..what did you just say?" Jaehyuk scoffed, throwing the younger a look of disbelief as Huening Kai stared him down.

"He-He didn't mean it. He's just tired," Soobin stuttered, apologizing for Huening Kai as he stepped forward and kept his head bowed.

"Don't speak for me. I'm not a kid," Huening Kai grunted, folding his arms and frowning at their leader who blinked at him with a look of hurt.

Taehyun sighed, shaking his head as he held Huening Kai back. "Just stop acting like a brat, please Kai-"

"We're all tired and wanna go back to the dorm," Yeonjun hissed, narrowing his eyes at Huening Kai who rolled his eyes.

Jaehyuk was silent as he glanced at the members before letting out a sigh. "Everyone go back to the dorm and take a rest. The car is outside to escort you."

A breath of relief escaped Soobin's lips as he slightly relaxed, the thought of him finally being able to lie down relaxing him.

Once Jaehyuk was out of the practice room, everyone immediately turned to stare at Huening Kai with disapproval.

"What the heck is your problem? You could have gotten us in trouble for your dumbass mouth," Beomgyu spat, his eyes full of anger.

"I'm sorry for having an opinion," Huening Kai retorted back, glaring into Beomgyu's brown eyes. They were so close to each other's faces that Soobin was scared they were going to break out into a fight as he walked over to intervene.

Soobin stretched a hand out between the pair. "Guys, let's just relax. Okay? Please."

Just when things were about to calm down, Yeonjun had to have the last word.

"You're seriously full of yourself."

Taehyun rapidly shook his head at Yeonjun, silently begging him to shut the hell up and leave things as they were but as stubborn as Yeonjun was, he provoked the younger even more.

"You're only acting like this because Soobin doesn't have feelings for you," Yeonjun stepped closer towards him. Their faces barely inches apart. "You're jealous and always will be."

"Hyung. Please let's not do this now," Soobin desperately pleaded, trying to pull Yeonjun away from Huening Kai but failed as the older was five times stronger than him.

Huening Kai's eyes flashed with hurt and pain as he chewed down on his bottom lip, his eyes starting to glisten with unshed tears. "That's..It's..It's not like that. I'm not jealous."

"You sure about that?" Yeonjun asked, adding fuel to the fire as Huening Kai couldn't take anymore of the olders harsh words and snapped.

"I hate you!" Huening Kai screamed, barging past Yeonjun and storming out of the practice room leaving everyone in stunned silence.

Soobin exasperatedly sighed, staring at Yeonjun with a look of sadness and disapproval. "Why'd you have to be like that?"

Just when he thought things were looking up.

"That was..mean hyung," Taehyun quietly said, hesitantly following after Huening Kai to make sure their maknae was okay after his outburst.

"I..shit.." Yeonjun faintly whispered, running a hand through his hair.

"You didn't have to say that," Soobin frustratedly said, staring at Yeonjun who had his back to him.

He was conflicted whether or not he should run after the younger or let Taehyun comfort him. He knew how Yeonjun and Huening Kai were still fighting. They couldn't even stay in the same room without throwing harsh words at each other. It had come to a point that they had nearly gotten into another physical fight. It as scaring Soobin—witnessing two people who used to be close grow further and further apart.

Yeonjun slowly turned around, his eyes shiny with tears as he fiddled with his fingers. "I just get..mad sometimes and I snap. I'm sorry."

Soobin let out a sigh as he stepped closer to the older and grabbed his hands before caressing them in his own. "Hyung like I said, you know I only have feelings for you and that's not gonna change. Just please if something's wrong, come and talk to me instead of lashing out."

Before Yeonjun could say anything, Taehyun hurriedly burst into the practice room—his eyes wide with panic. 

"Hyungs you need to come! It's Huening Kai and Beomgyu!"

Soobin's hand slipped away from Yeonjun's as he rushed out of the room, following after Taehyun who lead him into a different room where Beomgyu and Huening Kai were screaming at each other.

"You have to tell him or else!"

"Or else what, hyung?"

"Why do you have to be like this? Why did you have to stick your nose in a place that's not yours?"

"It was a mistake!"

Yeonjun frowned, stepping into the room. "What the hell is going on?"

Beomgyu took the opportunity to come out with the truth as he glanced at Soobin who stared back at him with confusion. "Huening Kai deleted your mom's number from your phone," his face saddening, "that's why you haven't been getting any calls from her lately."

Everything went dead as everyone's eyes were on Soobin who's mouth was agape in shock. He slightly stumbled backwards whilst letting out a shaky breath as if someone had punched him in the face twice.

All week Soobin had anticipated for his mom to call him since she promised but sadly he hadn't received a call from her. When he had tried to call her, he stopped himself and silently made himself believe that his mom didn't wanna speak to him.

All this time Huening Kai had tried to sabotage his relationship with his mom. There was only one question in his mind.

"Why?"

Huening Kai nervously gazed down at the floor—guilt starting to overwhelm him. "I was angry and I..did something I shouldn't have."

"That's not all," Beomgyu added, harshly elbowing Huening Kai who grimaced.

"I-I told your mom that you like boys," Huening Kai stuttered.

Anger flooded Soobin's body as he clenched his jaw. "Who gave you the right to tell my mom that? How could you Huening Kai? How could you do this to me?"

Huening Kai shook his head, tears escaping his eyes. "N-No hyung I didn't mean to. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was just mad that you chose Yeonjun-"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Yeonjun exclaimed, scoffing at the younger's childish and immature behavior.

Huening Kai glared at Yeonjun, his eyes dark. "If you..if you-"

"If I what?" Yeonjun challenged, folding his arms and waiting for Huening Kai to finish his sentence. 

"If you had just left Soobin hyung alone, we'd be together," Huening Kai angrily spat.

Soobin continuously shaking his head whilst backing away. "I-I can't do this. I can't."

Taehyun pleadingly watched the older rush out of the room leaving behind a tense atmosphere. Everyone's eyes bore into Huening Kai.

"How could you be so inconsiderate and selfish?" Yeonjun hissed, his eyes forming slits. He didn't think their maknae would stoop this low just to get what he wanted. Everyone knew how Soobin's mom was a sensitive topic.

"I did it for him," Huening Kai weakly convinced.

Yeonjun was silent for a moment before shaking his head. His voice low. "No you did it for yourself."


	16. Chapter 16

Soobin panted as he quickly stepped out into the hallway, his hand on his heart as tears rolled down his cheeks. All this time, he had been waiting for that one call from his mom to tell him that they're were okay. All he ever wanted to do was to make her proud but ever since he had left to become a trainee at BigHit—their relationship had taken a toll. Before he left, they had a big argument which left both of them in tears. He had thought maybe he would call her saying that she loved him and missed him. 

"Soobin hyung."

Soobin lifted his head up to see Yeonjun staring at him with sympathy as the older walked over to him and pulled him into a tight hug. Soobin relaxed into the hug, his eyes fluttering shut. The hug lasted for a while before Yeonjun pulled away.

"I can't believe Huening Kai would do that," Yeonjun said, shaking his head.

Soobin sniffled, wiping his tears away with the back of his hand. "I always thought that she hated me after I left. I didn't think," he stopped, his voice cracking. "I didn't think that she cared about me anymore."

Yeonjun's lips formed a pout as he caressed Soobin's hands, rubbing them slightly. "You know that's not true Soobinie. Your mom loves you and yes you did leave on bad terms but that doesn't mean she doesn't care about you."

Soobin stayed silent, processing Yeonjun's words as they stared into each other's eyes. Yeonjun knew how much Soobin had suffered over their years as trainees just to debut. He knew how much Soobin wanted to see his mom after everything that had happened.

The pair stayed in comfortable silence as Soobin indulged in Yeonjun's presence. Their hands intertwined softly.

"I love you," Soobin whispered, his eyes fluttering shut—eyelashes soaked with tears.

Yeonjun bit his bottom lip, his stomach doing flips. "I love you too."

 

"The truth was going to come out sooner or later," Beomgyu bitterly said, pacing around the small room as Taehyun intently watched him. 

Taehyun had felt bad that he had to keep something like this from Soobin. He didn't intentionally mean to hurt the older. He just couldn't find it in himself to tell Soobin. 

"You know Huening Kai didn't mean to," Taehyun sighed, causing Beomgyu to stop pacing around and slowly turn to face the brown-haired younger.

Beomgyu threw him a look of disbelief. "Why are you still defending him?"

Beomgyu didn't understand why Taehyun was constantly rooting for Huening Kai. 

Taehyun rolled his eyes, annoyed that Beomgyu was acting like a saint. "It's not all on him. You could have prevented this and told Soobin hyung the day you found out but no you didn't and now you're blaming Huening Kai for something you could have done."

Beomgyu pursed his lips as he furrowed his eyebrows. Maybe Taehyun was right but even so. It wasn't for him to tell. It was Huening Kai's mess yet he always had to be the one to fix things. Over and over again.

"Whatever," Beomgyu grunted, about to leave the room when Taehyun quickly took the opportunity to grab onto Beomgyu's wrist and pull him back.

Beomgyu blinked down at Taehyun's tight grip on his wrist before staring up at him with wide confused eyes. "What are you doing?"

"Something I should have done a long time ago," Taehyun mumbled before leaning in to kiss the older.

Beomgyu froze as Taehyun's plump lips were pressed against his, his eyes wide open in shock. He could feel his heart thump faster as his hands stayed by his side.

The kiss lasted for quite a while before Taehyun pulled away, slightly smiling whilst gauging Beomgyu's reaction.

"I..I.." Beomgyu stammered, not able to form a proper sentence as he stared at Taehyun's smug face.

Taehyun lifted a finger up and placed it on Beomgyu's lips, hushing him. "You don't have to say anything right now," he paused, raising an eyebrow. "Just think about it."

Taehyun removed his finger from Beomgyu's lips before walking out of the room leaving the older in a stunned silence.

Beomgyu didn't know how to feel about this. How was he supposed to feel? Taehyun had kissed him without warning. Of course, he had sometimes thought and imagined kissing the younger but not so suddenly. It had never crossed his mind to actually take initiative. He was too much of a scaredy-cat to take action which was ironic seeing how he had practically forced Soobin to come clean with Yeonjun.

But when it came to himself, Beomgyu wasn't able to take his own advice. He was aware of how much Taehyun liked him which made things awkward because it put them in a state where whatever Taehyun would do meant he wanted to be more than friends.

 

Huening Kai covered his hand with his mouth as he sobbed, tears streaming down his face like a waterfall. He was stupid for thinking that this plan would ever work. Now because of him, Soobin probably hated his guts. In his head, he had thought that if Soobin's mom knew that Soobin liked boys she would be mad and it would break Yeonjun and Soobin up but it was the opposite when he had called her. 

 

"Hello? Soobin-ah? Is that you? Baby?"

Huening Kai nibbled on his bottom lip as he hesitantly spoke up, unsure of how to start the conversation. "Hello, Mrs Choi. It's not Soobin. It's me Huening Kai. Soobin debuted and we're in a group called Tomorrow x Together. I'm the youngest member."

The other line was quiet as sniffling could be heard. Huening Kai had thought she had hung up when Soobin's mom burst into tears. It had startled him.

"My baby debuted. He debuted! I'm so proud of him. Is with you?" she cried as Huening Kai guiltily paced around the room.

"N-No. He's on a..schedule right now. There's something you need to know first."

"What is it? Is everything okay?"

"Soobin is gay," Huening Kai nervously said.

Mrs Choi was silent as her heavy breathing resonated through the phone. Huening Kai held his breath, his left hand balled into a tight fist. This was it. This was the part that she was gonna yell and demand that he-

"If he's happy then I'm happy," she finally said.

"W-what?" Huening Kai stammered, rapidly blinking.

This is not what he wanted. No. No. No.

"Tell him to call me back when he comes back from his schedule. It was nice speaking to you Huening Kai. I have to get back to work. Bye," was the last thing Mrs Choi said before hanging up.

Huening Kai pulled the phone away from his ear as he stared down at the screen in utter shock. 

He didn't expect this. 

 

That was when Huening Kai had realised that he had messed up. He had shared something personal that maybe Soobin wasn't ready to tell yet. He was sure that the older wouldn't forgive him for this. Instead of going forward he was spiralling downwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update yayyyyyy! So this chapter kind of tells the behind story of how Huening Kai called Soobin's mom and her reaction to her son being gay. Soobin and Yeonjun are getting closer and Beomgyu and Taehyun finally kissed but Beomgyu doesn't know what to feel. He's confused. Huening Kai thought his evil little plan would work instead it came to bite him back in the ass.
> 
> Anyways hope you enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> Love you guyssss <3


	17. Chapter 17

Throughout these past few weeks, Soobin had been purposefully ignoring their maknae after everything that had happened. He wasn't ready to forgive Huening Kai for what he had done especially telling his mom something so personal. He hadn't even considered coming out yet and Huening Kai had taken away that special moment from him because of his jealousy. As a group, their relationship wasn't as strong as it used to be when they were trainees. After long hours of practice, schedules, interviews, music stage promotions and meetings, they'd part ways and do their own things. Beomgyu, Taehyun and Huening Kai with school. Yeonjun would spend most of his time going to the cafe nearby or skateboarding at the park whereas Soobin would keep himself holed up in their dorm binge watching movies and shows. 

Their dorm was empty which meant that Soobin could have some time to himself. To talk to his mom. Luckily, he still remembered her number otherwise he wouldn't know what to do with himself.

Shakily, he dialled his mom's number before pressing his phone to his ear whilst chewing on his thumb. He didn't even know what to expect. He didn't-

"Hello?"

"M-Mom," Soobin whispered, his eyes closing. He hadn't heard his mom's voice for a long time and he missed hearing it. It soothed him.

Soobin's mom gasped. "Soobin! How..how have you been?"

Soobin bit his lip, fighting back tears. "Good," he lied.

"Soobin, don't lie to me. We haven't spoken in ages."

Soobin stood up from the couch and started to pace around the living room, his body overwhelmed from his emotions. "I...so you know then?"

"That you like boys?"

Soobin nodded and suddenly remembered she couldn't see him. "Yeah."

Soobin's mom sighed. "Look, I don't care that you like boys. I only care that you're happy and okay."

A breath of relief escaped Soobin's lips as he tried to hold back a smile from spreading on his face. 

"I'm sorry," he instantly said, his mind flashing back to the last thing he said to his mom before leaving to pursue his dreams as an idol.

 

"It's your fault that dad left."

 

"Sorry for what? For doing what you wanted to do? I'm proud of you Soobin-ah for believing in yourself especially when I couldn't. I should be the one who's sorry. For being such a horrible mom and holding you back."

Soobin hadn't realized that tears were running down his cheeks as he burst out into a sob. His mom's words hitting him.

"Don't cry Soobin please. I'm always here whenever you need me. I'm just a call away. Cheer up, okay?" Soobin's mom comforted him.

Soobin sniffled, wiping away his tears. "Okay mom. I love you."

"I love you too."

 

 

Yeonjun quietly munched on his pretzel as the breeze softly kissed against his skin. Ever since that day he had comforted Soobin when they had found out what Huening Kai had done, things had slowly started to change. Everyone gradually became distant with each other. Soobin was tense around everyone including Yeonjun and it hurt him.

He didn't think that he would treat Yeonjun like this especially after everything that they had been through. 

He was angry that Huening Kai could do such a thing to a person that he claimed to love. Sometimes he would think to himself if maybe Soobin did feel the same way about Huening Kai but didn't wanna admit it. Besides, before all of this they were really close. He knew that Soobin had countlessly told him that he didn't feel the same way but somehow deep in his mind he couldn't help but think otherwise.

And it scared him.

 

 

Huening Kai gazed up at the light blue sky—the pure white clouds swirling above him. The clouds almost reminded him of Soobin. How pure and innocent he was. How kind he was despite how people treated him. Huening Kai knew he was an idiot and he kept constantly messing up because of his stupid jealousy.

Everytime he would get somewhere with Soobin, he would end up making the same mistake and that's when Yeonjun would take his place. Yeonjun would always be the one to steal Soobin's heart. It pained Huening Kai to see the older treat Soobin the way he wanted to treat him. He wanted to be the one to kiss Soobin, hug him and cuddle with him.

Not even that but he was burden to everyone. His fans. His members. Beomgyu and Taehyun practically hated him especially Yeonjun and Soobin. Soobin couldn't even look him in the eyes anymore. Everytime they were in the same room—it was like talking to a brick wall. He would try and make conversation with the other members but they would just turn their backs on him. It made Huening Kai feel worthless and small like he didn't matter. No one would really care if he disappeared from the face of earth anyways.

He had managed to escape from his managers protection and ran as fast as his two legs could take him. He had even skipped school. 

He ended up in an unfamiliar place. It was different and more quiet. Despite there being people on the streets, he kept getting funny looks but ignored them. He didn't belong here.

Slowly starting to feel scared, Huening Kai wrapped tugged his yellow hoodie sleeves further down his arms.

"Yah, you."

Huening Kai decided to keep on walking as he kept his head down low. Goosebumps starting to rise against his skin as he felt a group of footsteps behind him. Suddenly he was stopped as the boys ran in front of him and stopped him from continuing to walk. They circled around him, staring at him as if he was prey.

"You're not from around here are you? What's a pretty boy like you doing around this part of Seoul huh?" One of the boys with bright red dyed hair strangely grinned, eyeing Huening Kai up and down.

Huening Kai nervously swallowed as he kept his gaze on the pavement, too terrified to look up. "I..got lost."

"Wait," another boy suddenly exclaimed, holding his friends back as he burst out into a loud laughter. "I recognize him from somewhere. Guys," he blinked at his friends, "he's an idol."

The red-haired boy wrapped an arm around Huening Kai who visibly flinched. "Say, why don't we show you around Mr Idol?"

 

Taehyun had invited Beomgyu to the arcade and being Beomgyu—he loved games and couldn't turn down the offer. They were just going as friends and nothing else besides he needed a little break from the heavy tension surrounding the other members. 

"Woo hoo!" Taehyun screamed, winning another round of the zombie game he had been hooked on since they got there.

Beomgyu rolled his eyes before sighing, he gave up. Taehyun was too good and that was a fact. "I seriously can't win this shit."

Taehyun paused the game and glanced over at Beomgyu who stood up. "Where are you going?"

"To get some food. I'll be back," Beomgyu said without looking back as he walked over to the mini fast food place where the arcade served food such as burgers, fries and milkshakes.

He was starving. He hadn't gotten a chance to properly eat and he could stomach anything right now.

"Can I help you?" The female worked asked, a bright smile plastered on her face. 

Beomgyu's eyes trailed down to her name tag which read Lia. That's a pretty name.

"Uh, can I just get some large fries and two milkshakes please," Beomgyu ordered whilst getting the money to pay out of his pocket. 

The worker, Lia, immediately shook her head whilst holding both hands out. "Ah it's on the house! I could see how down you were."

Beomgyu raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "So you were watching me?"

Lia's cheeks flushed red as she awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. "No, no! Nothing like that I just..okay fine. Yeah I was watching you."

Beomgyu chuckled, embarrassed that he might have been doing something stupid not realizing that a girl had been intently watching him for the past hour. "I-"

"Hyung, what's taking so long?"

They're interrupted by Taehyun who stared back and forth between the girl and Beomgyu. His face turning bitter once his brain registered what was taking him so long. The girl was flirting with Beomgyu.

"Sorry. I'll take your order now," Lia sheepishly apologized, bowing before rushing over to the back where the food was being made.

From the corner of his eye, he could see Taehyun giving the girl a mean once over.

It wasn't like he was jealous or anything.

Okay that was a lie. He was totally jealous. Even though Beomgyu had never specified which gender he completely liked, he didn't want the older to like girls more than him. It sounded selfish but that's how he felt.

He wanted Beomgyu for himself and himself only. 

After what seemed like ages, their order had finally came. The girl giving Beomgyu his food, their eyes locking before Beomgyu grabbed the bag and looked away. Taehyun let out an annoyed grunt before snatching the bag out of Beomgyu's hand and returning back to the games section.

Beomgyu smiled at the girl one more time before following after Taehyun, his expression changing. "What's your problem?"

"Nothing," Taehyun mumbled, chowing down on his fries.

Beomgyu sighed, sitting down next to the brown-haired younger. "I don't like the girl if that's what you're thinking. We just talked."

"How are you so sure? For all I know, you," Taehyun paused, pouting.

Beomgyu waited for him to finish, impatient. "I don't what?"

"You might not even like boys," Taehyun finished, looking away.

Beomgyu nibbled on his bottom lip, processing Taehyun's doubts. Maybe he was right but he was still figuring it out and things would change. He wasn't even sure he liked girls so how could he be a hundred percent sure he didn't like boys. 

"Come on let's head back. It's getting late," Beomgyu swiftly changed the subject, standing up and putting on his jacket. "We can finish our food along the way."

Taehyun nodded, also standing up and putting on his padded coat before following after Beomgyu out of the arcade.

The cold wind immediately hitting them as soon as they stepped outside. 

"Do you think Huening Kai's okay?" Taehyun quietly asked as they walked side by side along the road. Cars and people passing them by.

Beomgyu guiltily stared down at the floor. "I don't know but I hope he is."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made this chapter super long because idk when the next update is gonna be but I'm sorry if this chapter isn't good :(
> 
> Anyways I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Love you all <3


	18. Chapter 18

Huening Kai brought his knees up to his chest as he loudly sobbed. He didn't even know where he was. All he remembered was being brought to a dark and half-empty house. They had forced him into a dimly-lit room before locking the door. Huening Kai didn't understand what they wanted from him. He just wanted to go home and tell everyone he was sorry for going behind Soobin's back and being a bad maknae. He would even make up with Yeonjun if he could just go home and see their faces again. He missed everyone.

Laughter echoed throughout the house. Huening Kai assumed they were having a party since earlier the red-haired boy had mentioned that he was going to throw a party. Huening Kai had tried to refuse the invitation but only angered him. That was when he was brought here by force.

Rocking back and forth, Huening Kai racked his brain for an idea. He had to escape. Their managers would be worried about him and surely send a search party for him. Maybe he could try his phone again even though there wasn't any cell reception.

Shakily, he clumsily fumbled around his pockets for his phone before fishing it out and holding it up to his eyes. He quickly punched in his passcode before he swiped over to his contacts list. He wasn't sure who to call or if it would even work. Sighing, he decided to call Beomgyu. Even though they weren't on good terms, he was too scared to even care.

He went on his knees whilst holding his phone up. 

"Hello? Huening Kai?"

Huening Kai let out a cry of relief before pressing the phone to his ear. "Hyung I'm so scared. Please come and get me. Please."

"Wait, hold up Huening Kai. Where are you firstly?" Beomgyu worriedly asked.

Huening Kai squeezed his eyes shut, trying to remember where this part of Seoul was. "I-I don't know hyung. I have a GPS track on my-"

The door to the room swung open revealing the same red-haired boy before. Huening Kai had learnt his name was Sunwoo.

Trembling, Huening Kai stared up at Sunwoo with wide eyes whilst gripping the phone tightly.

"Huening Kai? Why aren't you answering? Yah!"

Sunwoo narrowed his eyes at him, holding his hand out. "Pass me the phone."

Huening Kai shook his head, tears slipping out of his eyes. "N-No please. I just..I just wanna go home."

"You're not going home," Sunwoo grunted, marching over to the raven-haired boy and harshly snatching the phone out of his hands. He dropped it on the floor before stepping on it repeatedly. The loud crunch of the device breaking to pieces causing Huening Kai to grimace and flinch.

"Please..just let me go home," Huening Kai begged again, sobbing.

Sunwoo stared down at him, a smirk playing on his face. "You're here to have fun and party not cry like a baby unless," he paused, biting his lip, "unless you wanna stay up here all night and miss out on the fun?"

Huening Kai silently weighed his options. It was either be holed up in these four walls or go downstairs and try to discreetly find a way to escape. 

Wiping away his tears, Huening Kai blinked up at Sunwoo. "N-No I wanna have fun."

Sunwoo grinned. "That's more like it."

 

"I can't believe this is happening!" Beomgyu screeched, pacing around their dorm as Soobin, Yeonjun and Taehyun silently stared at him. Their faces ridden with the guilt for the way they've treated their maknae these past couple of days. Maybe if Soobin had put his personal problems aside and forgave Huening Kai, this wouldn't have happened. 

"Manager hyungs are doing the best they can trying to look for him," Taehyun reassured, standing up to place a comforting hand on Beomgyu's shoulder.

Beomgyu slightly tensed, shrugging off of Taehyun's arm causing the younger to sadly look down at the floor.

Things had been awkward ever since that moment with the girl. It was hard for Beomgyu to talk to Taehyun or let him touch him without thinking if there's a meaning behind it. Right now, all he cared about was finding Huening Kai and bringing him back home safely.

Everyone had been alerted of the situation. The BigHit staff and BTS.

"It's my fault. I should have just," Soobin stopped, his voice breaking as he cried, "I should have forgave him."

Yeonjun shook his head and caressed Soobin's hands whilst stroking his hair. "Don't worry Soobinie we're gonna find him."

"We just have to wait," Taehyun firmly said, sitting back down onto the couch with his hands on his lap.

"We don't have time to just sit around," Beomgyu frustratedly snapped.

Yeonjun sighed, it was hard watching Beomgyu like this. "Beomgyu just please relax. He-"

"Don't tell me to relax!" Beomgyu yelled causing everyone to stare at him wide shocked eyes. He had never yelled at anyone before. "You weren't there when he called me. He sounded so terrified and desperate. It didn't even sound like him."

The living room was quiet as no one said a word, the reality of this situation hitting everyone with full force. If they couldn't find Huening Kai, Soobin didn't know what he was gonna do.

 

"Do you think we should go over there for support?" Jungkook asked, worriedly chewing on his bottom lip as he watched Namjoon type away on his phone.

Namjoon distractedly nodded. "Uh yeah, just wait a sec. I'm trying to get updates from the staff," he paused, squinting his eyes closely to the screen. "It seems like people are saying they last saw Huening Kai around 6pm which means he's not far."

"This is seriously scary. Poor kid," Jimin slightly pouted, his voice full of sympathy as he cuddled closer to Jungkook who was staring into space.

After a beat of silence, Jungkook stared at the pair. "I'm going over there to make sure they're alright. Tell the other hyungs."

Jimin nodded also standing up and slipping on his shoes. "I'm coming with you. They must be scared. They need all the support they could get."

Namjoon slipped his phone in pocket before following after Jimin and Jungkook. "I texted the other hyungs to meet us at TXT's dorm after their schedules."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be very honest, I wasn't sure how to end this chapter lool but anyways I hope you enjoyed it. I decided to add a little BTS because I thought it would make the story seem more interesting. Huening Kai :(((
> 
> Anyways thank you guys so much for all the support! 
> 
> Love youuu <3


	19. Chapter 19

There was a knock on the door as Beomgyu stopped talking. Silence filled the tense living room as Soobin's crying quietened down. Everyone's eyes were fixated on the door.

"Wh-Who do you think that is?" Taehyun stuttered, nervously swallowing as he wrapped an arm around himself.

"I have no idea but we might as well check just in case it could be Huening Kai," Beomgyu slowly said whilst walking over to the door. Hesitantly resting his hand on the doorknob. 

Yeonjun worriedly stared at Beomgyu who was getting ready to open the door. "Be careful. It could be anyone."

Beomgyu nodded, taking a deep breath before flinging the door open to reveal Namjoon, Jungkook and Jimin standing there. Immediately his eyes widened in shock as he didn't expect their sunbaenims to turn up at the dorm so suddenly.

"H-Hyung.." Beomgyu stammered, starstruck as he rapidly blinked at them. 

Jungkook raised an eyebrow, a smile playing on his lips. "Are you gonna let us in?"

Beomgyu snapped out of his daze trance and instantly moved aside to make way, his head bowed in embarrassment. This wasn't the right moment to fanboy. Right now, they needed to be focused on finding Huening Kai and bringing him back home. For all they know, he could be anywhere.

Taehyun, Soobin and Yeonjun quickly shot up from their seats on the couch and hastily started to bow. Taken aback, Jimin put his hand out to stop them whilst shaking his head. "No! It's alright guys. You don't need to be formal. We're not here to give you advice but to support you."

Namjoon nodded, taking over from Jimin. "We know that Huening Kai is missing and how hard it's been so we thought that we could go find him ourselves."

Soobin frowned, his face scrunching up in confusion as he scratched the back of his head. "Ah..how? We don't..exactly know where he is."

"We can st-"

"I think I know where he is," Taehyun blurted out, guiltily looking down at the floor for keeping quiet for so long. The last thing that Huening Kai told him was that he didn't want the others to find him and he just wanted some time to himself for a while. Of course, he was scared that the younger would say such a thing but at the same time Huening Kai had begged him to not tell anyone where he went. He didn't want to go against their maknae's wish and opted in staying silent about his whereabouts this whole time. He didn't think that Huening Kai would go missing for so long or else he would have said something and prevented all of this.

Eyes were on Taehyun as he anxiously lifted his head up to meet Namjoon's eyes. "I..he begged for me to not tell anyone. He said he was coming back..he said," Taehyun stopped, his breathing starting to become uneven as he began to hyperventilate causing everyone to rush over to aid him.

"Taehyun!" Beomgyu cried, running over to the younger and wrapping his arms around him. 

"Soobin-ah go get him some water," Jimin instructed looking over at the distressed brown-haired boy as Soobin quickly nodded immediately obeying.

"I'm..I'm..sorry," Taehyun hoarsely breathed, tears rising up in his eyes as he could feel his knees give in. Beomgyu and Yeonjun safely guided him to the couch whilst embracing and comforting the younger.

Jungkook kneeled down in front of Taehyun, grabbing his hands and intertwining them with his own. The sweet action slightly making Beomgyu feel weird as he stared down at their linked hands. He bit down on his bottom lip and ignored the pang in his chest. It wasn't the time to feel jealous and overthink things.

"We're going to find him," Jungkook firmly said, giving Taehyun's hand a gentle squeeze.

Yeonjun disconnected himself with what was going on as his eyes slowly trailed over to the half shut kitchen door. The younger hadn't returned with the water yet and it made him feel worried. 

Jimin noticed how distracted Yeonjun was and placed a hand on his knee. "Go to him."

Yeonjun jolted at the sudden contact, blinking down at Jimin. His cheeks beginning to bloom red at the way Jimin was staring at him as if he knew everything Yeonjun was thinking. 

He didn't say anything as he nodded, slipping his arms away from Taehyun and hesitantly making his way into the kitchen where he shut the door behind him. Turning around, he could feel his heart break as he saw Soobin hunched over the counter with his head buried in his arms. Light sobs escaped his mouth as his shoulder slightly shook.

Yeonjun knew how much pressure and guilt Soobin was feeling right now. He agreed that he should have treated Huening Kai better and ignoring him wasn't the right thing to do. It was mean and he regretted the way he's been with Huening Kai these past few weeks. He would do anything to bring the younger back. 

"Soobin," Yeonjun gently called out, walking over to Soobin and leaning onto him. 

The brown-haired boy didn't flinch as he felt Yeonjun's warm embrace. 

He hated himself for treating their maknae like crap. If only he had tried to find a place in his heart to forgive Huening Kai, this wouldn't have happened but no he let his stupid anger and hurt get in the way. It resulted in him completely ignore Huening Kai for days. 

"It's my fault that he's gone. He felt so alone and I..I..made him feel that way," Soobin sobbed, his eyes squeezed shut.

Yeonjun started to tear up at the fragility in Soobin's voice. He slowly stroked Soobin's hair and pressed a kiss on top of his head. "It's not your fault so stop blaming yourself Soobinie. We're going to find him and bring him back. So please don't hate on yourself for this."

Soobin became quiet as he lifted his head up causing Yeonjun to slightly move. The younger stared into Yeonjun's teary and shiny eyes. "Do..do..you think I'm a bad leader?"

Yeonjun's eyes widened in shock. "Of course not Soobin! You're not a bad leader so don't ever ever think that," he cupped Soobin's face in his hands, "okay?"

Soobin chewed on his bottom lip. "Okay."

 

 

"I wanna go home," Huening Kai whimpered, wrapping his arms around his knees as Sunwoo let out an annoyed grunt before slamming his hand against the wall causing the raven-haired younger to flinch in fear.

Sunwoo deeply inhaled, closing his eyes for a second before snapping them back open and rubbing his hurt hand. "You're not going home. What part don't you get?"

Huening Kai didn't understand what the red-haired boy wanted from him. 

Sunwoo's friends either averted their gazes and distracted themselves with something else or stayed quiet afraid to anger Sunwoo even more. He had a bad temper and they knew it wasn't wise to piss him off.

"Wh..why?" Huening Kai sniffled, rocking back and forth.

The living room was silent as Sunwoo stared down at Huening Kai's curled up form. "I need a new friend."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait for another chapter guys! Been busy with school and family so I haven't had a chance to be on my laptop a lot <33


	20. Chapter 20

"How are we gonna find him if we don't exactly know where he is?" Beomgyu slowly asked, chewing on his bottom lip as everyone turned to stare at him. 

Just as Namjoon was about to reply, his phone sets of with a ping causing him to fish it out of his pocket and hold it up to his face to read the several messages he was sent. He slightly grimaced, realizing how much trouble they were in for leaving their dorm without informing their staff. "They're pissed."

Jungkook nonchalantly shrugged whilst frowning, his hands still intertwined with a shaking Taehyun. "This is more important. A kid is missing for fucks sake."

Beomgyu's eyes widened in shock. He had never heard their sunbaenims swear before so it was weird to see a different side from their usual calm and relaxed personalities. 

"Language," Jimin gritted, throwing Jungkook a look of disapproval. 

Namjoon sighed, typing out a quick text on his phone before shoving it back in his pocket and looking up at everyone. "I'm gonna go back since the other members are home now. I'm gonna explain the situation. I'll be back," he stared at Jimin and Jungkook with a look of worry, "make sure they're safe and help them find Huening Kai."

With that, Namjoon was out the door leaving Jimin, Jungkook, Taehyun and Beomgyu in the living room. A tense silence falling over them.

 

"We should head back now," Soobin sniffled, pulling away from Yeonjun's warm embrace. 

Yeonjun grabbed Soobin's arm and span him around, locking eyes with the younger. "Tell me you don't..blame yourself for this."

Soobin stayed silent, nervously flickering his gaze over to the floor. He didn't want Yeonjun to worry over him. He didn't want to have to be a burden again. "I.."

"It's not your fault," Yeonjun firmly said, intensely staring at Soobin.

Soobin slowly pulled his arm out of Yeonjun's grip and scratched the back of his neck whilst avoiding Yeonjun's eye contact. "We should go back now. This is about Huening Kai not me."

"Soobin-"

Before Yeonjun could finish his sentence, Soobin hurried out of the kitchen and joined the others causing everyone's eyes to be on him which made him feel embarrassed for hiding away instead of comforting Taehyun. 

"Hyung, you okay?" Beomgyu worriedly asked, concern etched on his features. 

Soobin nodded before plopping down onto the couch next to Taehyun.

Yeonjun emerged from the kitchen and decided to sit far away from Soobin. It was better they had some space. He didn't want to argue with the younger. They had gotten this far and he wasn't prepared or ready to lose Soobin once again. 

"I was thinking we search the area and ask around whilst showing pictures," Jungkook suggested, standing up from his crouched position in front of Taehyun and stretching his arms above his head. 

"Mm, sounds like a plan," Jimin said, pulling his phone out to text Namjoon the plan they had come up with.

Beomgyu got out his phone and started scrolling through his camera roll. "I'll find some pictures of him."

Jungkook shared a look with Jimin. "We'll get the car started and wait for you downstairs."

The four of them were left in the living room as no one was able to look each other in the eye. They were all ashamed for the way they treated Huening Kai especially Soobin. He wished it could have been different and maybe this wouldn't have happened. Huening Kai wouldn't have felt the need to runaway. He wouldn't have felt..alone.

Suddenly, Taehyun burst into a heart-wrenching sob. His whole body shaking. "I..It's..my..fault..I..wasn't..a good..hyung to him."

Beomgyu, Soobin and Yeonjun immediately comforted the younger—wrapping their arms around his body.

"It's okay Taehyun-ah. Please don't cry anymore. It's no one's fault," Yeonjun soothed, rubbing Taehyun's trembling hands.

Soobin could feel himself fighting back tears as he bit down on his bottom lip and instead focused on comforting Taehyun. He needed to put his members first instead of himself. 

Beomgyu pouted, resting his head on top of Taehyun's shoulder and intertwined his fingers with Taehyun's. "No one blames you Taehyun."

"We'll find him and bring him back home," Soobin said, his eyes watery and his voice shaking as he stared at the others.

 

 

"Sunwoo used to have a best friend but he died."

Huening Kai lifted his head up from his lap and slowly blinked at the girl talking to him in confusion. She had dark brown hair and eyes that reminded her of a cat. She was staring back at him, almost as if she was waiting for his permission to continue.

She introduced herself with a soft smile. "I'm Jennie. Sunwoo's adoptive older sister."

Huening Kai nervously swallowed, fidgeting with his fingers. "Huening Kai but I prefer to be called Kai."

"Well Kai, wanna hear the rest of the story?" Jennie raised an eyebrow at the raven-haired boy.

Huening Kai nodded, sitting up. 

"Sunwoo and I grew up together. My parents died in a crazy freak accident and Sunwoo's parents ended up adopting me. I became his adoptive older sister. Sunwoo used to have a best friend that he loved and cared about a lot. They did everything together until he died because-"

"What the fuck are you doing?" Sunwoo growled causing the pair to jolt in fear and stare up at the red-haired boy who was towering over them.

Jennie visibly gulped, shaking her head whilst holding her hands up. "Sunwoo..I was just..he was scared so I was just-"

"Sharing something personal. How dare you talk about him like you really cared?!" Sunwoo snapped causing Jennie to whimper and flinch in fear.

Jennie's hands were trembling as she tried to reach out for her brother but was only backhanded across the face.

"You never fucking learn Jennie," Sunwoo hissed, yanking hold of Jennie's hair and pulling her towards a room.

Huening Kai was sobbing and hugging himself tight as he watched Jennie scream whilst Sunwoo was dragging her by her hair. 

He couldn't take this anymore. He was terrified of Sunwoo and just wanted to go home but at the same time he didn't want to leave Jennie here alone with him. Sunwoo was abusive and had anger problems.

"Please..please don't hurt her," Huening Kai hoarsely whispered, tears streaming down his cheeks as he watched the door slam shut.

 

Beomgyu, Yeonjun, Soobin and Taehyun piled into the backseat of the car. The cold and windy breeze fanning their bodies as Soobin shivered, goosebumps rising against his skin as he closed the car door shut.

"Where exactly did Huening Kai tell you he was going?" Jimin asked, turning around to stare at Taehyun who was holding hands with Beomgyu.

"I don't exactly remember but he did say he was going towards the inner part of the city," Taehyun said, feeling slightly guilty for not being a big help.

"I guess that's a start," Jungkook sighed, turning the car engine on, "put on your seatbelts."

They did as he said as the car began to drive onto the road passing by apartments, houses, shops and people. Soobin gazed out of the car windows, his head resting against the glass and his eyes shutting close.

He just wanted Huening Kai to come back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yayy another update because I actually came home from school early woohoo! Usually I come home late that's why I mostly don't have time to write a new chapter or update since I end up falling asleep anyways I hope you enjoyed this chapter lovelies!


	21. Chapter 21

WARNING: This chapter is gonna be very dark and is going to include suicidal thoughts and self-harming so if that's triggering to you then please don't read! Btw I recommend you listen to Halsey-Nightmare, the songs helps fit the mood of the chapter.

It felt like Huening Kai had been stuck in the same curled up position for hours as he slowly unwrapped his arms from his knees and looked around the eerily quiet messy living room. Even though it was just him, it felt like someone was watching him as he hesitantly stood up from the couch.

His whole body was trembling with fear as he nervously climbed up the stairs. He knew that Sunwoo be angry that he was disobeying him but at the same time staying in one place wasn't helping him if he was going to escape from here. He needed to see if Jennie was okay. 

Huening Kai stopped in his tracks, goosebumps rising against his skin as he heard small whimpers coming from the room in front of him. He was aware of how risky this was but he didn't care. He had to help Jennie. He had to make sure she was alright. 

He shakily reached over to the doorknob and carefully opened the door. The door making a squeaky creaking sound causing the raven-haired boy to grimace.

"No..No..Sunwoo..No more..please.." 

Huening Kai could feel his breath hitching in his throat as he stepped into the dimly lit bedroom. "It's me Huening Kai."

Jennie was hunched over on the edge of the bed, gripping her hair in her hands but slowly started to look up once she heard Huening Kai's voice. She tearily blinked at him with wide eyes. "H-Huening Kai?"

Huening Kai's eyes landed on the purple bruises forming on Jennie's face and the prominent black eye. Her top lip was busted and he could see that she had difficulty talking.

"What..what did he do to you?" Huening Kai gasped, rushing over to Jennie and sitting down next to her on the bed.

Jennie shook him off with a forced small smile, her eyes speaking a different story as she stared into his eyes almost as if she was begging him to save her. "I'm fine..it's not the first time this has happened."

Huening Kai bit down on his bottom lip as he reached over and laced his fingers through Jennie's. Taken aback by the sudden contact, she blinked down at their intertwined hands before staring back up at him. 

"I'm going to help you get out of here. Come with me," Huening Kai pleaded, his tone full of desperation.

Jennie was quiet, thinking about it for a moment before shaking her head. Tears beginning to run down her cheeks. "I-I can't. I can't leave Sunwoo here all alone. He's too young to take care of himself."

"Even so, what he's doing to you isn't right! He's..he's abusing you," Huening Kai spluttered out in frustration.

Jennie slipped her hand out of Huening Kai's and looked away. "Even if..even if I was to come with you, you're an idol. How could that even work?"

"My manager could help you and my members they would understand. Just please, you can't stay here," Huening Kai begged, tears forming in his eyes.

He didn't want to leave her behind with someone as terrifying as Sunwoo. He was hurting her and it wasn't right for him to leave Jennie with him even if they were siblings.

The pair weren't aware that Sunwoo had been standing behind them this whole time and was listening in to their conversation. Anger flooded his body as he slammed the door shut causing Huening Kai and Jennie to flinch whilst turning to stare at Sunwoo with shock.

"No one's going anywhere," Sunwoo gritted, glaring down at the frightened pair.

"Sunwoo please just let Huening Kai go. He doesn't deserve this. He's just a kid," Jennie cried, wrapping her arms protectively around the younger.

Sunwoo scoffed, clenching his jaw as he narrowed his eyes at his older sister. "I'm just a kid but that didn't matter to you, did it? All you ever used to do was drugs, bringing random guys in this house even when your own mom was sick! I had to be the older sibling! I had to take care of you when you would turn up home at 2 am in the morning drunk!

Jennie burst into tears, her bottom lip quivering as she put her hand on her mouth and closed her eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry Sunwoo," she wiped her tears away with the back of her hand.

Sunwoo let out a bitter chuckle as he slowly turned over to the wall and punched it with fury causing Huening Kai to flinch and recoil in Jennie's comforting arms.

"That's when I fell in love with Huening Kai. He was different. He was confident. He was beautiful and I just had to have him for myself." Sunwoo explained, dropping his hand by his side not even caring that his knuckles were bruised. "I just wanted a friend. A real friend."

 

"I hope Soobin isn't putting too much pressure on himself," Jimin worried, taking a peak at the sleeping brown-haired boy.

Yeonjun sighed, staring out at the window. "He thinks it's all his fault and won't stop blaming himself. I..I don't know what to do as the oldest member in the group. I feel like I'm not doing a good job of taking care of the younger members."

"Hey hyung," Taehyun pouted, reaching over to caress Yeonjun's hands, "you're doing all that you can so please don't think so negatively about yourself."

Yeonjun sadly smiled, ruffling Taehyun's hair. "Thanks, kid."

 

"Sunwoo," Jennie called out, gently letting go of Huening Kai and walked over to her little brother standing in front of him so they were face to face. "You know I will always love you no matter how much you hurt me but you have to let Huening Kai go. Please."

Sunwoo was quiet as he stared back at Jennie before flickering his eyes over to Huening Kai who was trembling with fear. "He saved me from almost killing myself. When you weren't there, Huening Kai was."

"W-What?" Jennie stammered, blinking at Sunwoo as Huening Kai's eyes widened. The thought of him alone saving someone from almost attempting suicide made him feel even more burdened. 

 

"Fucking worthless piece of shit," Yongbin hissed, kicking Sunwoo in the ribs as the younger let out a groan of pain.

Yongbin's friends, Seongyu and Taehyun laughed from behind Yongbin as Sunwoo was getting beaten up by his bully.

"Why don't you just do everyone a favor and die like your parents did," Taehyun spat causing Sunwoo's blood to boil as the three kept laughing before leaving Sunwoo in pain on the school floor. 

He burst into a sob whilst holding onto his hurting stomach. He didn't want to be here anymore. No one cared about him. Not even his own sister. All she ever did was get drunk twenty four seven. He was alone in this world. His parents were gone. He had no friends. His best friend was dead. What was the point of him still living? It wouldn't make a difference to the world if he died.

Weakly attempting to stand up, he was finally able to stand on his own two feet before he staggered over to the toilets but stopped in his tracks in front of the girls toilets.

"Yeonjun oppa is just too adorable!"

"Huening Kai is way cuter!"

"I agree Huening Kai is so handsome! He's my favorite. I swear once you set your eyes on him you'll fall in love with him. He takes away all your sadness when he smiles."

Sunwoo lingered at the door for a moment but immediately started to run away when he heard the door about to open.

Huening Kai. What a beautiful name, Sunwoo thought.

 

Sunwoo sighed as he stepped inside his empty house. Of course Jennie wouldn't be home. She was probably out as usual. 

He walked into the kitchen and opened up the kitchen drawer before slowly pulling out a sharp knife. He held it up and stared at it before rushing upstairs and into his room. He threw off his school blazer and dumped his bag beside his bed. 

"If this is really true," he mumbled to himself before sitting down on his desk chair and opening up his laptop and logging in.

He typed in YouTube and clicked on the site. He started to type Huening Kai on the search bar and his laptop screen instantly popped up with videos. He clicked on the first one and that's when his whole life changed.

"Huening Kai," he whispered, touching the laptop screen.

 

"Now that I finally have him here. I can't let him go," Sunwoo dazedly said, gazing at the raven-haired boy.

Jennie deeply inhaled before slapping Sunwoo across the face and pulling him down into a headlock. He yelped in pain and tried to pull Jennie off of her. "Huening Kai, go! Hurry!"

Huening Kai looked conflicted as he stared back and forth between Jennie and Sunwoo who was struggling to get out of Jennie's headlock. "I can't leave you here with him!"

He didn't want to leave her behind.

"Just go!" Jennie grunted, as Huening Kai nodded before rushing past the fighting pair and out of the room not looking back.

Sunwoo finally got the upperhand as Jennie was slightly distracted by Huening Kai's escape and slipped out of the headlock before yanking onto the olders hair and throwing her onto the floor. Jennie screamed as then Sunwoo continued to kick her down over and over again.

Jennie's screams filled the house as Huening Kai hurried down the stairs and ran over to the front door. His hand resting on the door handle for a few seconds before he opened the door and rushed out of the house. The cold wind immediately hitting him. 

He toppled over onto the pavement and fell onto his hands and knees. His hands painfully scraping against the rocky pavement but he didn't care as he pushed himself back up and continued running down the street not realizing that he was on the road when a car turned a corner and stopped right in front of him about to hit him until he screamed whilst holding his hand out to stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT! SCHOOL IS AN ASS. I hope you liked this chapter since I spent really long writing today. And yess Sunwoo is basically like a crazy saesang fan and pretended that he didn't know Huening Kai at first and then went on to luring him into his house with his friends.
> 
> But yeahhhh <3


	22. Chapter 22

The car immediately came to a skidded holt as Huening Kai squeezed his eyes shut in fear. He hadn't realized that it was Jungkook, Jimin, Soobin, Taehyun, Yeonjun and Beomgyu in the car. 

"Huening Kai!"

That voice sounded familiar. It sounded exactly like Yeonjun. His eyes slowly fluttered open and landed on everyone. A sigh of relief escaped from his lips as he burst into tears. He could finally see everyone again. Overwhelmed by his emotions of happiness and relief, he ran over to the first person he could reach which was Beomgyu. 

"Hyung," Huening Kai bawled, as Beomgyu tightly embraced him into a hug. "I was so scared and alone."

"You're safe now," Beomgyu reassured the younger, stroking his black locks whilst they rocked back and forth on their toes.

Jungkook instantly began typing away on his phone whilst leading Jimin back to the car to give the TXT members space to talk to Huening Kai. "I'll tell everyone that we've found you."

Huening Kai nodded, still being embraced in Beomgyu's arms as he watched the two BTS members walk back to where the car was parked in the middle of the road.

Soobin hid behind Yeonjun crying as he pressed a hand onto his mouth not wanting anyone to see that he was crying like a baby. He felt guilty for not being a good leader and doing his best to find Huening Kai. All this responsibility caused him to question his leadership and if this position was really the best for him in this group. He couldn't even do one thing right without messing up. How could he possibly lead a group?

Yeonjun noticed that Soobin had disappeared until he turned around and realized that the brown-haired younger was right behind him but had his back turned away from everyone. His heart dropped at the sight. Soobin was having a breakdown but he was the only one to have seemed to notice.

"Soobin-ah," Yeonjun called out, grabbing Soobin's wrist and attempted to spin him around so he could face the younger but Soobin shook his head and turned his face away whilst holding his other hand out to stop Yeonjun. 

"I'm fine. I'm fine. Just please don't make a big deal about it," he sniffled, letting out a whimper as he tried to fight back a sob from forcing its way out of his mouth. "This is about Huening Kai. Not me."

"Soobin don't be like this. Stop blaming yourself for this!" Yeonjun exasperatedly said, a pout forming on his lips as he stared at the younger.

Soobin couldn't hold it anymore. He had to let out this anger and self-hate he's been holding back. 

"But it is my fault! It is my fault that Huening Kai went missing! It's my fault! I'm a horrible leader! I can't do anything right!" Soobin snapped, causing everyone's eyes to be on him including Huening Kai's.

Silence filled the cold windy air as no one said a word after Soobin's emotional outburst. Yeonjun blinked at him with shock and hurt. Taehyun opted to casting his gaze onto the road. Beomgyu looked away deep in thought whilst Huening Kai's eyes stayed on Soobin—their eyes locking.

"It's not your fault hyung," Huening Kai spoke up, pulling away from Beomgyu's embrace and slowly starting to walk over to Soobin who broke their intense eye contact and stared down at the road as he bit down on his lip.

Soobin shook his head, his confidence wavering as he backed away not wanting Huening Kai to get closer to him. "All I ever do is hurt people."

"Soobin hyung you know that's not true!" Taehyun whined, his head snapping up to stare at Soobin.

"He's not thinking right so he's saying stupid things," Yeonjun bitterly gritted, disregarding everything that Soobin had said causing Soobin to glare at him with anger and disbelief that Yeonjun could carelessly ignore his feelings. 

"You never understand," Soobin shouted, resulting in Yeonjun to flinch at Soobin's harsh tone. 

Beomgyu hated when the pair would argue—their fights were deadly and hurtful. It almost felt like their words were being thrown to him that's how mean they were. When the fought, neither thought of how cruel their words were especially when they were both upset.

Yeonjun narrowed his eyes at Soobin and let out a scoff as he folded his arms. "What do you mean I don't understand?"

Soobin was quiet, not wanting to elaborate further as he kicked tiny rocks on the road whilst pursing his lips. 

"What do you mean I don't understand Soobin?" Yeonjun repeated, this time more demanding. 

Huening Kai's gaze nervously flickered back and forth between Yeonjun and Soobin—he didn't want to see them fight. The old Huening Kai would have felt happy seeing this but the Huening Kai just wanted everyone to be happy. He wanted everyone to stop fighting. He wanted Soobin to be happy even if it meant that it wasn't with him.

"Guys please don't argue," Huening Kai pleaded before turning around to face all his members and looking at each and every member. "It's no one's fault. It was my fault for deciding that it was a good idea to walk around in a place that I wasn't familiar with. It was my fault. No one's fault. So let's please stop fighting."

Soobin guiltily looked away, realizing that once again he had made everything about him ignoring the fact that Huening Kai was safe and back with them. He deeply inhaled before turning to face their maknae with a small smile and walking over to him to pull him into a tight hug—almost squeezing the life out of the boy. 

"Please don't ever do that again," Soobin muttered, closing his eyes shut and indulging in Huening Kai's presence. He had missed this. He had missed everything.

Taehyun noticed how quiet Beomgyu was and ambled over to the auburn-haired older. They stood side by side as Taehyun slipped his fingers into Beomgyu's, their hands intertwining as Beomgyu slightly blushed whilst chewing on his bottom lip. He silently thanked Taehyun for comforting him even though he wasn't really sure what he felt towards the younger.

 

"You think they're okay? It looks a bit heated." Jungkook worriedly asked, carefully watching them from the car window. 

A small smile made its way on Jimin's lips as he rested a hand on the younger's bouncing knee causing Jungkook to turn to stare at him. "They're fine. They just need time to talk everything out especially after everything that happened."

"You know," Jimin continued, staring into the distance. "I remember back in our trainee days when you used to stupid things like running away. We used to scold you and yell at you to never do things like that again. It makes me proud to see the way you turned out. If we had never told you off, who knows what type of person you would be today."

Jungkook grinned, grabbing a hold of Jimin's hands. "Thank you. For setting me on the right path."

Jimin just smiled as he used his other hand to gently pat Jungkook's head. 

 

Jungkook and Jimin had dropped them off at the BigHit building seeing as everyone wanted to have a meeting about Huening Kai's disappearance and to talk about what happened. Jungkook parked the car on the side of the road. The tall building coming into view as Jungkook turned the engine off before facing everyone in the back seat.

"Just tell them everything that happened and you'll be fine. They'll sort this out to make sure this never happens again," Jungkook said, letting out a sigh.

Huening Kai nervously fiddled with his fingers. His mind racing back to Jennie. He wanted to know if Jennie was okay. If she was safe but he knew he couldn't go back there. Sunwoo was..he was dangerous and would hurt him if he went back. He was here now and he couldn't do anything about it.

"You'll be fine," Jimin reassured, reaching over from the front seat to pat Huening Kai's thighs.

The tension surrounding Soobin and Yeonjun was suffocating. Neither of them said a word to each other or batted an eye at another after their fight. Soobin wasn't in the right state of mind to say anything to Yeonjun right now. All he wanted to do was get this meeting over with and head back to their dorm to talk things out with Huening Kai and sleep.

"Let's do this," Beomgyu unenthusiastically mumbled, opening the car door and jumping out—waiting for the other members to follow. 

"We'll stay in the car and wait for you guys when you're done," Jungkook loudly said, rolling his window down.

The TXT members nodded as they stood side by side staring up at the building.

Yeonjun, Taehyun and Beomgyu started to walk towards the entrance as Soobin and Huening Kai lingered back.

Soobin could see how nervous and scared Huening Kai was and opted in lacing his fingers with the youngers, comforting him. "We'll be there as you're support. Just tell them everything that happened to you when you went missing."

Huening Kai closed his eyes, his mind flashing back to when Sunwoo had led him to his house before he opened them back up again and stared at Soobin. "Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Twenty-Two already! I really didn't think that this book would go that far or get as much love. I'm not really sure when I want this book to end since I really enjoy writing this but please give me suggestions on what chapter you guys want me to end the book on! I have so many ideas for this story and it's hard to put it out in one chapter but thank you so much for baring with me throughout this story! I'm aware that my writing isn't that good but I'm trying my best to improve. Also leave suggestions on what should happen in the next few chapters, I want your input since it means a lot to me!
> 
> I love you guys and stay safe! <3


	23. Chapter 23

"YOU CAN'T BLAME Soobin," Beomgyu abruptly said as they stepped into the BigHit building. Yeonjun rolled his eyes and slightly shrugged, pretending not be bothered when really all he wanted to do was just run over to Soobin and engulf him into the tightest hug and tell him that everything was going to be okay. Deep down, he felt guilty because he was the one that the younger had confided to with all his worries and feelings yet he let his anger blind him and ruin his relationship with Soobin.

"Of course I don't blame him Beomgyu," Yeonjun quietly said, his voice lowering down into a whisper as realisations hits him of how selfish and stupid he's been. He knew that Soobin was dealing with a lot of pressure and stress. 

Taehyun placed a comforting hand on Yeonjun's shoulder whilst softly staring at him. "Then go talk to him. He needs you even though sometimes he can be stubborn."

Yeonjun chewed on his bottom lip, deep in his thoughts as he folded his arms and slowly nodded before turning to stare at Beomgyu. "Don't go in without us. I'm going to sort this out."

"We'll be waiting," Beomgyu shouted, as the pair watched Yeonjun run out of the building. 

 

"There's something I haven't been able to tell you guys," Huening Kai nervously jittered, playing with the hem of his sleeves. 

They were still standing outside the building, neither had moved a feet. 

Soobin patiently waited, as he expectantly stared at their maknae waiting for him to continue but before Huening Kai could even finish what he was about to say—Yeonjun had interrupted the moment. His heavy footsteps slamming against the pavement as he rushed over to them whilst panting. He slightly wavered as his gaze suspiciously flickered back and forth between an anxious looking Huening Kai and a stone-faced Soobin who was practically throwing daggers at him with his eyes. He would be lying if he hadn't said that his heart dropped when he noticed the annoyed expression on Soobin's face.

"What do you want?" Soobin gritted through his teeth, trying his best to keep his anger under control. Why did Yeonjun choose the worst times to talk to him especially when Huening Kai was trying to tell him something important.

Huening Kai casted his gaze onto the pavement, his head bowed as he fiddled with his fingers. He should have just kept quiet. If he told the other members about what had really happened, things would change. Everything would change. Maybe they would help Jennie but who knows what would happen to Sunwoo. They didn't have parents and Jennie was his guardian. With Jennie gone that meant that Sunwoo would be sent to a foster home.

Taken aback by Soobin's harsh tone and demeanor, Yeonjun blinked at him with wide eyes—his mouth opening and closing like a fish before he took a deep breath and lowered his gaze, trying to hold back his tears. "I just wanted..I just wanted to talk to you and apologize for being a jerk."

Soobin bitterly scoffed, raising an eyebrow. "A bit too late for that, don't you think?"

Yeonjun kept quiet as he didn't know what else to say. He didn't want to be the cause of another argument so he stayed silent. 

"Let's go Huening Kai," Soobin turned to stare at the younger who quickly lifted his head in surprise, "everyone's waiting for us."

Huening Kai nodded and immediately followed after Soobin—trying to match his fast pace leaving Yeonjun by himself on the empty streets.

Yeonjun knew that he had ruined things with Soobin and they couldn't be fixed with everything going on. 

 

"That was mean hyung," Huening Kai said, walking side by side with Soobin through the building and over to where Taehyun and Beomgyu were sitting down waiting.

Soobin pursed his lips and avoided Huening Kai's eyes. "Yeah, well he deserved it."

Taehyun frowned up at Soobin with confusion. "He deserved what?"

Beomgyu narrowed his eyes at the pair, looking around only to realize that Yeonjun was missing. "And where's Yeonjun hyung? What happened?"

"What happened was he tried to apologize and I wasn't having it," Soobin explained whilst shrugging nonchalantly.

Beomgyu glared at Soobin with a look of disbelief and disappointment. "Are you serious hyung? He tried to be the bigger person and apologize to you and you..and you-"

"And I what? Go ahead, finish your sentence Beomgyu," Soobin cut off, his voice an octave lower as he scowled at the auburn-haired boy.

The hallway fell silent as neither said a word. Beomgyu averted his gaze, not having the energy to have another argument fall into place.

"Right now our priority is Huening Kai and making sure what happened to him never happens again. We have a meeting to get to so," Soobin stared at the other members, "are you coming with or not?"

Taehyun tiredly sighed before standing up and walking over to Soobin and Huening Kai.

All eyes were on Beomgyu who was still sitting down. He hadn't moved an inch and Soobin had taken that as a no so he started walking with Huening Kai and Taehyun behind him.

Even though he was upset with Soobin's poor choices, the older was right. Huening Kai was their priority and they had to find a way to push away their differences and work together to keep each other safe. 

"Wait," Beomgyu called out causing the three to stop and turn around to see him running over to them. 

 

Yeonjun deeply inhaled before stepping into the building. He was doing this for Huening Kai. He just had to make sure he kept his distance from Soobin even if he was still hurting. Everyone wasn't in a good place right now and he didn't want to make things worse by adding more fuel to the fire. 

He just wished things could go back to the way it was. When they used to be happy. When he didn't argue with Soobin every single day over stupid things. 

Sometimes he thought to himself, what if he hadn't been given a chance to debut? What if he had followed his dad's dreams for him to become a doctor? What if he wasn't in Tomorrow x Together? What would his life be like? Would it be better? Would he have been happier?

Yeonjun would never know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY HEY! IT'S ANOTHER UPDATE WOO! I have so many exciting ideas for the next few chapters guyssss so I don't think this book will be ending any time soon! It really means a lot that you guys enjoy this story even though I know I'm not the best writer! So thank you for always leaving sweet comments and just know even though I don't reply (most of the times because i'm super busy) I do read all of them so thank you! I'm so sad that Yeonjun and Soobin are in a bad place right now in their relationship :( and Huening Kai feels guilty for not telling his members the full truth. Beomgyu and Taehyun haven't had a chance to talk with everything going on. Hopefully things will start looking up for the members :)
> 
> Love you guyssss! <3


	24. Chapter 24

"Hyungs," Huening Kai quietly spoke, nervously chewing on his bottom lips as he stopped in his tracks from where he was trailing behind the other members. Everyone stopped to turn and stare him. He couldn't keep this a secret anymore, it was hurting him knowing that he could save Jennie but instead he had chosen to stay quiet. Sunwoo was a dangerous person and he didn't want Jennie to be in danger even if he barely knew her. It wasn't right that he kept silent about this.

"Huening Kai, what's wrong?" Soobin worriedly asked, frowning at the younger who's head was bowed.

"I.." Huening Kai started, not sure of how to come out with it. "I was kidnapped by a saesang fan. A dangerous saesang fan."

It took a while for everyone to process Huening Kai's words as he could feel everyone's eyes on him even if he couldn't find the strength to look at them.

"What? How? Why?" Beomgyu spluttered, tensing up at the word 'saesang.'

Huening Kai rocked back and forth on his converses whilst playing with the hem of his sleeves. 

Taehyun stepped forward, his fists clenched by his sides as he stared at Huening Kai. "You need to tell us everything," he marched over to the younger and grabbed onto his arm causing Huening Kai to lift his head up. "Everything."

 

Yeonjun could feel his heart racing faster as he rushed down the hallway in search of the others. He had thought they had probably went in without him until he saw them huddled around Huening Kai. Immediately, he could feel how tense the atmosphere was once he walked over to them. All the attention was on him as he sheepishly scratched the back of his neck.

"What's going on?" Yeonjun asked, noticing the weird expressions on everyone's faces. It felt like he had interrupted something serious.

"Huening Kai didn't just go missing. He was kidnapped by a saesang fan," Taehyun blurted out, carefully wording the last part. 

Yeonjun slightly frowned, his hand dropping to his side as he worriedly stared at Huening Kai. Despite their differences and the fact that they weren't on good terms, he still cared about the younger and would do anything to protect him. To hear that a saesang fan had taken advantage of their maknae caused his blood to boil. "Why didn't you tell us the full story?"

Huening Kai let out a noise of frustration as he ran a hand through his hair. "I was scared. Scared of Sunwoo coming back for me if I said anything. At the same time, I wanted to protect Jennie unnie but I was afraid."

"Wait Sunwoo? Jennie? Huening Kai..who are all these people?" Soobin asked, puzzled at these unfamiliar names coming out of their maknae's mouth.

"Sunwoo was the boy that kidnapped me and he took me to his house where I met his older adoptive sister Jennie. Jennie is being abused by Sunwoo and it's just the two of them. She saved me. She put her life at risk and helped me escape," Huening Kai explained, out of breath as he watched his members reactions.

Yeonjun clenched his fists in anger. "Who is this Sunwoo boy? Where does he live? I'm gonna-"

"No you're not gonna do anything hyung. This Sunwoo boy can be a crazy person and who knows what he would do," Taehyun, being the calm and collected person he was, said causing Yeonjun to roll his eyes.

Soobin nodded, hesitating slightly. "I agree. We shouldn't do anything stupid. Not until we've had this meeting. Everyone needs to know that Huening Kai's okay now."

"I can't believe you guys we're gonna go in without me," Yeonjun grumbled, sulking.

"Maybe if you weren't too busy trying to fix things then-"

"Guys please. Let's not do this now especially when Huening Kai could potentially be in danger," Beomgyu tiredly sighed, already fed up of them constantly arguing.

Once Soobin and Yeonjun calmed down, Huening Kai slowly piped up. "There's something else as well."

"What is it?" Soobin inquired, expectantly staring at the raven-haired boy.

Huening Kai grimaced. "I kind of promised that we would help Jennie."

"Whoa. Hold on. We don't even know this girl," Yeonjun scoffed, his tone full of disbelief at the fact that Huening Kai would promise to help an abused girl when in reality there wasn't anything they could do. They were idols. They weren't supposed to get themselves into things like this.

"I'm not gonna let a girl keep being abused," Huening Kai scowled, annoyed that Yeonjun was acting as if he didn't care.

"Huening Kai's right. We can't keep quiet about this," Taehyun said, staring at Yeonjun.

"I'm not saying we keep quiet about it. We just.." Yeonjun stopped, not knowing what else to say.

"We just what?" Soobin persisted, raising an eyebrow at the older.

"I..I don't know anymore," Yeonjun's gaze slowly flickered to the floor. It felt as though whenever he tried to fix things, he would just end up making things worse and ruining things. As the oldest member, he sometimes felt useless and it pained him—not being able to do anything to help.

"I think we should tell management. They will do their best to help," Beomgyu suggested, after a while of keeping quiet.

"You guys go ahead," Yeonjun grabbed onto Soobin's wrist and pulled him aside, "I need to talk to you."

"I don't have time for this hyung," Soobin annoyedly grunted, yanking his wrist away from Yeonjun's before folding his arms.

Soobin's cold behaviour towards him made Yeonjun feel upset that he caused the younger to be this way towards him. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not understanding you. Not understanding your feelings I mean," Yeonjun stammered, shaking his head at his mistake.

"Sometimes I just feel like I'm all alone when I need you the most and it hurts because I want us to be together but at the same time I'm not sure anymore especially with everything going on. This girl and this saesang fan. Huening Kai being traumatized. The fans. Us being idols," Soobin sadly said, tears beginning to build up in his eyes as he bit down on his bottom lip—willing himself not to cry.

"We can work something out Soobin but please don't give up on us. Please. I love you and I won't stop loving you even if it means people finding out about us. I don't care. Please Soobin," Yeonjun pleaded, bursting out into a sob as he reached over for Soobin's hand but Soobin pulled his hand away from Yeonjun's reach.

"See this is what I mean. We both want different things. I don't want people to find out about us. I won't let people find out about us and to do that we shouldn't be together especially since we're just rookies and this could damage us. I can't do this anymore Yeonjun. Please try to understand and don't make this any harder for me than it already is," Soobin shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Don't you think this is hard for me too?" Yeonjun snapped, causing Soobin to flinch at Yeonjun's harsh tone.

Soobin's eyes fluttered open as he tearily stared at the older. "Sometimes doing the right thing hurts."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter is all over the place! I wasn't sure on how to continue on from the last chapter lol but I hope you guys enjoyed it!!
> 
> Don't forget to comment because I love reading your comments it makes my day!!
> 
> Love you guys <333


	25. Chapter 25

"It's my fault that Soobin and Yeonjun hyung are fighting isn't it?"

Beomgyu and Taehyun turned to stare at the younger boy with wide eyes. No one could blame Huening Kai. After all, it wasn't his fault that Yeonjun and Soobin were in this state. They didn't want their maknae to feel guilty for something that he didn't cause. It wasn't right.

"Of course it's not your fault," Beomgyu sighed, making his way over to wrap an arm around the younger.

The raven-haired boy sniffled, his head slightly bowed as he lifted his hand up to wipe the tears that were falling from his eyes. Even though the other members didn't blame him, he couldn't say the same for himself. If he hadn't run away from his problems, Yeonjun and Soobin wouldn't be fighting and arguing all the time. If he hadn't run away from his problems, their staff wouldn't be stressed trying to search for him instead of focusing on planning their upcoming fansign event. He was the problem and refused to see it differently.

"Then..then why is everything going wrong?" Huening Kai cried, covering his face with his hands in sheer embarrassment that he was bawling like a baby.

"Huening Kai," Taehyun softly called out, pulling Huening Kai's hands away from his face and forcing the younger boy to make eye contact with him. "We're going to sort this out and everything will be fine. We're going to protect you from this ever happening again."

"And Soobin and Yeonjun hyung were having problems from the start so please don't think it's about you. Okay?" Beomgyu added, trying to reassure Huening Kai.

Huening Kai slowly nodded, his vision blurry with tears as he chewed on his bottom lip. 

 

"Don't walk away from me Soobin," Yeonjun hissed, reaching out to grab Soobin's arm and spin him back around.

"Hyung stop it," Soobin grunted, pulling his wrist away. "I don't wanna talk about this anymore! I told you I'm done with this. Whatever this is."

Yeonjun scoffed, throwing him an incredulous look almost as if he couldn't believe what Soobin was saying. "Whatever this is?"

To hear these words come out of Soobin was like someone countlessly stabbing Yeonjun's heart. He had sacrificed so many things just to make this relationship work but to hear that Soobin felt otherwise made Yeonjun angry. He thought that they loved each other and people who love each other wouldn't give up so easily.

"Yeah whatever this is," Soobin blankly said, shrugging whilst folding his arms.

Yeonjun was quiet for a moment as he examined the younger with narrowed eyes. "So all this time, you didn't really have feelings for me?"

Soobin averted Yeonjun's gaze, taken aback by the sudden question. He didn't know how to answer so he stayed silent, not wanting to hurt the older anymore. He didn't want to fight about this. Yeonjun was making this harder for him than it should be. All he had to do was to let Soobin go and they could carry on with their lives. 

"Answer me Soobin!" Yeonjun exclaimed, his bottom lip trembling as his eyes glistened with tears.

"I'm sorry," Soobin whispered, squeezing his eyes shut before turning around and walking away leaving Yeonjun to stare after him with a pained expression.

As soon as he was a further distance away from the older, Soobin burst into tears as he brought his hand up to cover his mouth. He didn't want to do this but he had no choice. These feelings that he had for Yeonjun was going to ruin them. Ruin everything that they had worked hard for. All those times he would practice like there was no tomorrow after school or even on the weekends, it was for him to debut. To have a chance to debut and he finally did with four other people. Four other people that he cherished and was supposed to protect as the leader. 

Deeply inhaling, he wiped the tears away with the back of his hand before fixing his hair and walking back over to Beomgyu, Taehyun and Huening Kai who their backs to him. He was going to be strong and survive this.

"What's happened?" Soobin worriedly asked, noticing that Beomgyu and Taehyun were cradling their maknae. 

"Nothing hyung. I'm fine just a little tired," Huening Kai lied, slightly pulling away from the pair. He didn't want Soobin to worry about him.

Beomgyu and Taehyun shared a knowing look before moving away to give Huening Kai some space to breathe.

Beomgyu frowned, staring at Soobin who was looking down at the floor. "Where's Yeonjun hyung?"

The mention of his name made Soobin flicker his gaze up at Beomgyu, unsure of what to say. "He's-"

"I'm here," Yeonjun said, appearing from the corner. 

Everyone turned to stare at him including Soobin who tried not to make it obvious. Yeonjun's eyes were puffy and slightly red but a smile still made its way on his face as he stared back at the others. "Are we going in or what? Everyone's waiting for us."

Beomgyu instantly knew that something had happened between them but chose not to say anything in fear of making the situation worse so instead, he firmly nodded. "Yeah, let's go in."

 

"So Huening Kai, in your own words please inform us what happened," the police officer said, sitting down in front of Huening Kai.

"I.." Huening Kai hesitated, turning around to stare his members and the staff who were giving him a look of encouragement to continue before he turned back around at the police officer. "I was going for a walk when I was kidnapped by this boy who looked about my age. His name was Sunwoo and he took me to his house where I met his older adoptive sister Jennie. I found out that she was being abused by Sunwoo. She helped me escape by distracting Sunwoo."

The police officer nodded, writing all of this down on his notepad. "So, where would you say this was? What part of Seoul?"

"Um, I don't remember," Huening Kai stammered, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to rack his brain for anything but nothing seemed to come in mind. 

"It's okay just take your time," he reassured, comforting Huening Kai.

"That's all I remember sorry," Huening Kai said, sheepishly staring down at his lap.

"That's fine," the police officer smiled, standing up.

"So you're going to find that boy and arrest him for attempted kidnap?" Jaehyuk, their manager, angrily inquired, his arms folded as he stared at the police officer.

"What about Jennie? She didn't do anything so please don't arrest her," Huening Kai pleaded.

"I'm sorry but she's gonna have to be brought in for questioning once we find them," the police officer apologetically said.

"Thank you sir for your help. I'll show you the way out," Jaehyuk said, leading the police officer out of the meeting room.

"You did your best," Taehyun comforted, placing a hand on Huening Kai's shoulder. "I'm sure Jennie will be fine."

"I hope so hyung," Huening Kai whispered, leaning into Taehyun's touch.

Beomgyu took this opportunity to push Soobin back so only he could hear what he was about to ask. "What happened with you and Yeonjun hyung?"

Soobin blinked at him. "Nothing."

Beomgyu frowned, annoyed. "Why do both of you look like you've been crying then?"

"Just drop it Beomgyu please. Things aren't gonna get better if you keep bringing up the past," Soobin snapped before making his way back over to Huening Kai and the others.

Beomgyu stared after him in confusion. Something definitely happened and he was going to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooh what's gonna happen to Sunwoo and Jennie! Are you guys curious? Hehehe anyways sorry that there's not much TaeGyu in this chapter I was mainly focusing on Huening Kai and Yeonbin but next chapter there's definitely going to be more TaeGyu so don't worry! 
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> Love you guyssss <3


	26. Chapter 26

"We have a fansign early in the morning tomorrow so make sure you get an early night," Jaehyuk announced before sending the boys back to their dorm where everyone immediately settled into their beds.

A heavy sigh escaped Huening Kai's lips as he climbed out of his bed and flicked the light switch off before returning back to his bed which was on the bottom bunk. Above him was Taehyun who was already immersed into a deep slumber. The room was pitch black, the sound of everyone's breathing resonating through Huening Kai's ears. He laid on his back with the covers covering half of his face, only his eyes peeking out. 

No matter how much he tried to close his eyes, he would always wake up a minute after with a dreaded feeling almost as if someone was watching him and it terrified him. Would he constantly have to feel like this after what had happened with Sunwoo? Whilst his hyungs would be peacefully asleep, he'd be fully awake staring up at Taehyun's bunk.

"Just sleep. Everything is fine," Huening Kai whispered to himself, forcing his body to relax as his eyes slowly fluttered shut.

A loud crash woke Huening Kai up causing the younger to jolt awake. His eyes wide open as he nervously gulped. Fear overtaking him. Maybe it was just the wind. Maybe they had forgotten to close the window or something. Huening Kai racked his brain for every possible solution to calm his pounding heart but immediately stopped when he heard footsteps. 

And that's when Huening Kai screamed causing everyone else to jump awake.

"Yah! What's going on?" Beomgyu groggily asked, rubbing his eyes as he sat up and looked around the pitch black bedroom until his vision landed on Huening Kai who was crying and shaking. Instantly, the auburn-haired boy slid out of his bed and rushed over to the fear-stricken boy. "Huening Kai! What happened?"

Soobin yawned, sitting up and realized that their maknae was in tears—his face dropping with worry. "W-What happened? Huening Kai?"

Soon after, Taehyun and Yeonjun woke up—also confused at the situation. Everyone's eyes were fixated on Huening Kai who was practically sobbing and Beomgyu trying to comfort the younger with reassuring words.

"I sw-swear I-I he-heard so-something it-it soun-sounded like foo-footsteps. It's Sunwoo. He's back. He knows where we live. He knows who we are. He's coming to get revenge on me," Huening Kai stammered, hyperventilating as his breathing became heavy and uneven.

"Sunwoo is not going to touch one finger on your head. You understand? Otherwise he'll have us to answer to," Yeonjun grumbled, getting out of bed and climbing down from his top bunk.

"This time we'll protect you," Taehyun softly said, staring at Huening Kai.

Soobin was the only that hadn't said anything as he could feel everyone's eyes on him, almost as if they were silently pressuring him to say something to put the younger's mind at ease but it was as if he couldn't find anything that would make Huening Kai feel better. He wanted to say that he would protect their maknae but at the same time he didn't want to feel as though it was his fault if things went south. He didn't want to have that weighed down on his shoulders. All he could really do was be there for the younger and do the best as a leader. Soobin didn't mean to sound selfish but at the same time he was being truthful. Lying wouldn't get them anywhere.

"I'll go do a search around the living room," Soobin quietly muttered, averting everyone's questioning gazes. He pulled the covers off his body before walking out of the bedroom and turning the lights on in the living room. 

Beomgyu had told Yeonjun and Taehyun to watch after Huening Kai and that he was going to get a glass of water for the younger. He followed after Soobin, a sudden rush of anger flooding him. "What the actual hell is wrong with you?"

Soobin slightly flinched, taken aback by Beomgyu's presence as he spun around to stare at the auburn-haired boy with furrowed eyebrows. "Excuse me?"

"You know what I mean! First you and Yeonjun and now you're acting like this towards Huening Kai. You can't even look him in the eye and when he really needs you the most you don't give him words of encouragement and act like you don't even care? Hyung, what's going on?" Beomgyu snapped, raising his voice as Soobin's eyes grew wide.

"Th..I..I..I just don't know what to do anymore. If I say anything it's like my words come to me bite me back in the end. I don't wanna say anything that I don't mean," Soobin sighed, pursing his lips. 

Beomgyu narrowed his eyes at the older. "So, when you say you're gonna protect Huening Kai..you don't actually mean that?"

Soobin's jaw fell open as he blinked at Beomgyu with disbelief clouding his features. "Of course I mean that! It's just..It's just I don't want that feeling of burden if something does..happen."

"Nothing will happen if we're all by his side! We're gonna protect him and make sure nothing like that ever ever happens," Beomgyu reasoned, determined.

"But how do you know that nothing will happen? This Sunwoo boy is a saesang and you know how saesang fans are. Their batshit crazy so how the hell do we know something isn't gonna happen to him?" Soobin scoffed, as Beomgyu rolled his eyes and sidled past the older to grab a glass of water from the kitchen.

"Why can't you for once try and be optimistic? At least for Huening Kai. He practically thinks that you hate him because of the way you're acting. He thinks that you find him a burden," Beomgyu said, pouring ice-cold water from the tap into the glass before settling the glass back down onto the counter with a loud clang.

"Look Beomgyu, I'm trying best but it's really hard so please get off my case," Soobin tiredly mumbled before flopping down onto the couch and grabbing a pillow from behind him. Cuddling into the pillow, he stared into space. "I don't know why you guys can't just trust me."

"Well look what happened with you and Yeonjun hyung for starters," Beomgyu pulled a face, "what even happened between you guys? Was it that bad? I mean I've never seen Yeonjun hyung eyes so red and puffy."

"We..we..I broke up with him," Soobin admitted, squeezing his eyes shut as the memory of that day and the way Yeonjun had burst into tears came flooding back into his mind.

Just as Beomgyu was about to say something, Taehyun had appeared with an annoyed look. "Huening Kai could really use that drink you know."

The look almost seemed as though it was coming out of jealousy. What would Taehyun be jealous of? He didn't feel anything romantically towards Soobin so why would Taehyun be jealous? Maybe he was just seeing things. After all, everyone was tired.

"Right. Sorry," Beomgyu sheepishly apologized, forgetting that he had promised to bring Huening Kai a drink. He threw one last glance at Soobin who avoided his eyes before walking past Taehyun and into the bedroom.

Taehyun lingered back, chewing on his bottom lip as he hesitantly made his way over to Soobin before gently sitting down next to the older. "Are-do- I mean," he looked down at his fingers, "Do you have feelings for Beomgyu as well?"

Soobin choked on his saliva as he quickly sat up and blinked at the brown-haired boy with wide eyes. "N-No! No! It's not like that I swear."

How could Taehyun think that he had feelings for Beomgyu? Is that how the other members all saw it? Even Yeonjun?

No, he shouldn't care what Yeonjun thought. It wasn't like they were together or even dating so it shouldn't matter, right? 

Taehyun breathed out a sigh of relief. "I just thought that you guys had something going on. You guys are always together."

"Taehyun listen," he shifted his body so he could face Taehyun properly before grabbing onto his hands and placing them on his lap, "I don't have feelings for Beomgyu. We're just good friends that share a lot with each other. Besides I've realized that having relationships isn't good and ruins friendships. So, I need you to promise me something."

"What do you want me to promise?" Taehyun asked, innocently staring at Soobin.

"I need you to promise that you're not gonna fall in love with Beomgyu."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MWAHAHAH! I feel like I made Soobin seem so controlling and evil in the last part but all will be revealed why he wants Taehyun to not fall in love with Beomgyu. Hmmm maybe because of what happened with him and Yeonjun. Huening Kai is so traumatized, our babyyyyy! Btw this is all happened at night if you're confused.
> 
> Anyways the next chapter is gonna be VERY VERY JUICY and scary so watch out! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> Love you guysssss <3


	27. Chapter 27

All day, Soobin's words had left a trace on Taehyun's mind. How was he supposed to promise something like that when he was practically already head over heels the older? He couldn't just suddenly pretend that he didn't have feelings for Beomgyu. It wasn't right especially if there was a possibility that Beomgyu liked him back. 

He was snapped out of his thoughts as a fan kneeled down in front of him and placed their album on the table. Plastering on a bright smile, he greeted the fan and opened up the album whilst asking what her name was.

"Sooyoung," the fan answered, nervously tucking a strand of her brown hair behind her ear. 

"Sooyoung," Taehyun quietly repeated, nodding as he started signing the album with her name neatly written. 

"You and Beomgyu are cute together."

Taehyun stopped writing and slowly lifted his head up to stare at her. He could feel his heart pounding against his chest. What did she mean by that? Did she know something? Did she know about them? Was Taehyun too obvious?

Before Taehyun could ask her what she meant, their manager had forced the girl to move on to the next member who was Huening Kai—he must not have heard what she had said because he was happily conversing with another fan before saying his goodbyes.

"I need you to promise me that you won't fall in love with Beomgyu."

"Taehyun, look over here!"

The brown-haired boy slightly flinched at the sound of his name as his eyes searched for the person that he called him. He realized it was one of his fan sites as the girl was snapping pictures of him on her camera. He smiled, his nerves settling as he couldn't but think of the fan that had said that to him. 

 

"That was tiring," Yeonjun yawned whilst leaning his head back against the seat. The windows were rolled down mid-way. The warm breeze fanning Beomgyu's face as he sighed in contempt. His wrist hurt from all the signing he had to do. All he needed right now was his bed and some food then he would feel better. 

His gaze discreetly between Yeonjun and Soobin who sat far apart from each other. The tension was still uncomfortable and visible but they had stopped arguing. Beomgyu wanted Soobin and Yeonjun to talk again even if he had to lock them in the same room. 

Soobin had his earphones on whilst staring out the window and Yeonjun had fallen asleep. Ever since their argument and what had happened to Huening Kai, things weren't the same anymore. Everyone changed. The members all became paranoid especially Huening Kai who couldn't sleep without waking up in tears every night. It was hard on all them including the staff and managers who had to watch their friendship and group dynamic slowly fall apart.

"Do you think things are going to get better?" Beomgyu piped up after sitting in a long period of silence. Huening Kai and Taehyun—the only ones who could hear him stared at him.

"What do you mean?" Huening Kai questioned, blinking at Beomgyu who slightly shrugged whilst chewing on his bottom lip.

"Every single day is getting harder to deal with," Beomgyu muttered, fiddling with his fingers in his lap.

Taehyun sat opposite him as he slowly leaned forward and placed a comforting hand on Beomgyu's bouncing knee. "We're going to get through it day by day."

"How though? Soobin and Yeonjun aren't even talking? I can't get rid of these stupid nightmares that I keep having," Huening Kai whined, a small pout forming on his lips.

"Me and Yeonjun aren't talking because I've decided it's best that we put the group first."

Soobin's deep voice startled everyone as he pulled of one earphone out of his ear and spanned his attention over to the members. "Our relationship was just ruining things and it was making it harder for me to make decisions as a leader. I did what was best and Yeonjun wasn't happy with my choice. I'm sorry if-"

"So Yeonjun hyung didn't get to have a say whether or not he wanted to still be with you? You just didn't care about what he had to say?" Beomgyu grunted, narrowing his eyes at Soobin.

"I..It's..It's complicated Beomgyu," Soobin stammered, defeatedly sighing.

"What's complicated about telling someone how you feel? What's so complicated about being in love?" Beomgyu persisted causing Soobin to snap.

"What's complicated is that we're idols and if anyone found out about relationship even the staff it would jeopardize everything that we've trained years for. Don't you understand? I was putting the group first!"

The car was silent as everyone averted Soobin's gaze, suddenly feeling guilty for pressuring the older and not understanding his point of view.

Yeonjun continued to keep his eyes shut as he fought back the urge to yell at Soobin. The members thought that he was asleep but he had been listening to their conversation the whole time. 

Yeonjun knew that being an idol and being in a relationship was a risky move but when it came to his love for Soobin, he didn't care. He just wanted to be with Soobin even if they had to keep sneaking around. He missed hugging, kissing and talking to the younger now all he ever got was blank and cold looks or simple words. It was difficult pretending that he was okay with Soobin to the fans especially when behind closed doors—it was a different story. 

"When you love someone, you don't care about all those things," Taehyun quietly said, gaining everyone's attention as his small voice filled the silence.

Taehyun could feel Soobin's questioning eyes on him but he chose to ignore it as he locked eyes with Beomgyu.

It was too late to not fall in love with Beomgyu when he was practically head over heels and he knew that he had promised Soobin but he couldn't stop. He couldn't stop the way he felt about Beomgyu. 

 

"What was that in the car?" Soobin asked, lingering back as he grabbed Taehyun's arm—letting the other members walk ahead.

Taehyun bit his lip, avoiding Soobin's eyes. "Nothing. Just a few words of wisdom, you know."

"No, that look you gave Beomgyu," Soobin said, letting go of Taehyun's arm and folding his arms. "There's something going on between you guys, isn't there?"

Taehyun rapidly shook his head. "Of course not, hyung! It was just a look. A normal and friendly look."

Soobin kept quiet as he breathed out a sigh. "I'm doing this for your own good, Taehyun. You having feelings for Beomgyu is going to come and bite you back just like it did with me and Yeonjun hyung. You understand right?"

"Yes, I understand hyung," Taehyun mumbled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's getting harder for Taehyun to control the way he feels about Beomgyu and Soobin notices the way Taehyun is around Beomgyu and is trying to stop it from escalating! 
> 
> GUYS I can't believe we're already on chapter twenty-seven like wowwowowow.
> 
> Anyways hope you guys enjoyedddd this chapter!
> 
> Love you guyssss <3


	28. Chapter 28

"Where did Taehyun and Soobin hyung go?" Huening Kai asked, looking around to see that neither of the two missing members were to be seen as he walked with Beomgyu and Yeonjun into the lift as he piled in after them. 

"Soobin probably forgot something in the car and asked Taehyun to help him," Beomgyu shrugged, unbothered. 

Yeonjun kept quiet as he stared up at the ceiling. Huening Kai nodded, not knowing what to say as the lift landed onto their floor. The doors pinging open. Even though Huening Kai wanted to take a nap, he was scared that his nightmares would come back despite it still being daylight. He couldn't remember the last time that he had fallen asleep with ease. It sometimes made him feel as though he was a burden. The other members would constantly have to wake up whenever Huening Kai would be in tears after having the same nightmare over and over again of Sunwoo and Jennie. 

"I'll use my keys," Beomgyu said, fishing in his pocket for his own set of keys and finally retrieving the silver object before inserting it into the door and twisting the door handle. The door flung open as Huening Kai walked in after Yeonjun. 

A cold shiver ran down Huening Kai's spine as he rubbed his arms. This was weird, he didn't remember leaving the windows open as he rushed over to shut them all. That's when his face dropped and a rush of fear flooded his body when Sunwoo stepped out of the shadows—a cold glare on his face.

"Hy-Hyungs!" Huening Kai screamed, hurriedly stepping back as Beomgyu and Yeonjun immediately ran in front of Huening Kai to protect him.

"How the fuck did you get into our dorm?" Yeonjun yelled, his fists clenching by his sides.

Sunwoo grinned, the corner of his mouth quirking upwards. "Silly of you to leave your front door unlocked, don't you think?"

Huening Kai sobbed, his heart pounding against his chest and his body trembling. He prayed this was one of his stupid nightmares that just felt too real.

"You crazy freak!" Beomgyu shouted, causing Sunwoo's grin to drop. His hands were behind his back and Huening Kai immediately knew that Sunwoo had brought a weapon.

"He-he h-has s-something b-behind h-his back," Huening Kai stuttered, tightly gripping onto Yeonjun's arm.

Just as Yeonjun was about to rush forward, Sunwoo pulled out a knife from behind his back and pointed it at the three of them causing Huening Kai to let out a scream of terror. 

"Sunwoo, p-please th-there's no need for that. Please," Beomgyu pleaded, carefully holding his hand up as his gaze flickered between the knife and Sunwoo's dark eyes.

 

Just as Soobin and Taehyun were about to get on the lift, Soobin felt a tug on his wrist causing him to spin around and almost yell at the person when he saw that it was a girl who looked scared and was in tears.

"You can't go in there! Sunwoo is going to kill you both!" The girl panicked, her grip on Soobin's wrist tightening.

Taehyun's eyes grew wide as he stared at the brown-haired girl. "S-Sunwoo? That means..you must be-"

"Yes I'm Jennie! He..he forced me to come here otherwise he was going to kill me. I had no choice but I tried to stop but he's stubborn and doesn't listening to me. He wanted to see Huening Kai for the last time before," she stopped, her words caught up in her throat.

"Before he what?" Soobin inquired, as he nervously waited for her answer.

"Before he killed him and everyone else that got in the way."

 

"You know after you ratted me out to the police, I had to take Jennie and find another place to vacate to. I had to leave my home that my parents left me because of you're fucking big mouth Huening Kai. You just couldn't keep your mouth shut even for me?" Sunwoo gritted, unclenching and clenching his fingers around the knife. 

"You tried to kidnap him you sick bastard," Yeonjun spat, ready to pounce on the red-haired boy not even caring that he was holding a knife against them.

Sunwoo's eyes diverted towards Yeonjun, a scowl resting on his face. "You're going to be the first one that dies."

"No! No! Please Sunwoo! Please don't do this! Don't hurt them!" Huening Kai cried, tears running down his cheeks.

The reality of the situation finally kicked into Beomgyu's brain as he stared at the shiny and sharp object that was in Sunwoo's hands. He didn't want to die. He didn't want anyone to get hurt. He just wanted Sunwoo to be locked up and to get away from them. He just wanted this to stop.

"What do you want?" Beomgyu shakily asked.

"I want Huening Kai to come with me. I want me and Huening Kai to be together," Sunwoo dreamily said, sickly smiling as he intensely gazed at Huening Kai who was hiding behind Beomgyu and Yeonjun.

"Over my dead body," Yeonjun grunted.

 

 

"Hyung hurry up! We have to help them!" Taehyun rushed, running inside the lift.

Soobin tried to climb into the lift but Jennie pulled him back as he just frowned at her. "We can't leave them there with your crazy brother."

"He'll kill the both of you too. It's dangerous. Please don't go in there," Jennie begged, sobbing whilst shaking her head.

"We have no choice," Soobin hissed, yanking his arm out of her grip and jumping into the lift.

Jennie hesitated for a moment as she ran her hands through her hair before following after Soobin and Taehyun into the lift.

The lift doors shut as Soobin tapped his foot repeatedly against the floor, a wave of nerves hitting him. He was worried to death. He just hoped that Sunwoo didn't touch the other members otherwise he didn't know what he would have done.

"What does your brother want from us?" Taehyun asked, turning to stare at Jennie who was chewing on her bottom lip.

"He's crazy over Huening Kai. That's all who he thinks about and it's sickening the things that he does and says he's going to do. At first I thought it was a normal obsession until it got worse," Jennie explained, her voice shaking.

"Worse to the point he tried to kidnap Huening Kai," Soobin said but Jennie shaked her head, her gaze trailing from the floor to Soobin. Their eyes locking.

"No. Worse to the point he's trying to bury him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no words. Like honestly looooooool, I don't even know what I've written! But it's supposed to be slightly scary and yes Sunwoo is a saesang fan as we've already established and he's trying to kill Huening Kai because he wants to bury him as creepy as it sounds.
> 
> But I hope you guys liked this chapter! 
> 
> Btw I listened to Billie Eilish- Bury a friend whilst listening to this so that's where I kind of got my inspo.
> 
> Anyways love you guysss <3


	29. Chapter 29

"Huening Kai and Beomgyu stay behind me," Yeonjun whispered, pushing both of them behind him and holding his arms out to protect them. 

"Hyung no. He has a knife! Don't do anything stupid." Beomgyu hissed, tugging on Yeonjun's arm. 

Sunwoo smirked, twirling the sharp object around in his hands. "You should listen to him. You wouldn't want this knife to be accidentally stabbed right through you, would you?"

Huening Kai's breath hitched in his throat as he nervously gulped, the thought of Sunwoo hurting them with the knife made the younger feel physically sick. If anything happened to Yeonjun or Beomgyu, he would hold it against himself for the rest of his life. He would never forgive himself. After all, he was the reason this was happening. 

 

The lift doors pinged open as Soobin, Taehyun and Jennie rushed out of the confined space and hurried over to the front door of their dorm. 

Taehyun held the both of them back, a frightened expression etched on his features. "For all we know, he could have a weapon so we have to be careful."

Jennie and Soobin shared a look before firmly nodding. 

"I'll try the door," Soobin said, resting his hand on the door handle before pulling it down. The door wouldn't budge.

"Shit he probably locked it from the inside," Jennie cursed, running a hand through her hair. 

"How are we supposed to get in?" Taehyun asked, nervously swallowing.

 

"Beomgyu call the-"

Yeonjun was interrupted by the sound of the door trying to be opened. In his mind, he immediately knew that it was Soobin and Taehyun. Sunwoo must have locked it from the inside whilst they were distracted. 

"Don't move!" Sunwoo yelled, directing the knife at the three of them.

Neither of them moved a muscle or made a sound—only holding onto each other for dear life, afraid of what was going to happen next. 

 

"I have an idea," Jennie piped up, pushing Soobin back so she was closest to the door. She turned to face the confused pair and pressed her finger to her lips to signal them to keep quiet before whirling back around to the door. "Sunwoo! It's me Jennie!"

"I'm scared hyung," Taehyun faintly whispered to Soobin who shared the same look of fright.

Soobin intertwined his fingers with Taehyun, their hands laced together. "Me too."

 

"Sunwoo, it's me Jennie!"

The dorm was quiet as only heavy breathing resonated throughout the living room. Sunwoo hesitated, unsure of whether or not to answer. "Jennie? Are you alone? I can't let you in if you're not alone?"

"Yes, Sunwoo, I'm alone. Just let me in. Please," Jennie pleaded, her tone desperate.

Sunwoo's eyes landed on Beomgyu, who flinched at his intense and sinister gaze. "I'm trusting you to open the door and come back or else," he motioned chin towards the knife he was holding, "I'll stab Yeonjun."

Beomgyu obediently nodded before slowly walking over to the front door. His hand shakily rested on the door handle before he unlocked it and opened it for Jennie to come in.

But it wasn't just Jennie that came in. It was Soobin and Taehyun who quickly hurried in behind her.

Sunwoo's face dropped and his expression darkened. "You fucking lied. You said you were alone!"

Jennie held her hand out, slowly edging towards her brother. "Sunwoo. Please, just calm down. You're not thinking straight, okay? Just please put the knife down."

As soon as Huening Kai saw Soobin and Taehyun, he ran over to them and engulfed them both into the tightest hug.

"Huening Kai. You're okay," Soobin breathed in relief, rubbing Huening Kai's back before pulling away.

"How did he get in?" Taehyun quietly asked Huening Kai once they stopped hugging.

Huening Kai shook his head. "I-I don't know. We must have left the door unlocked or something."

Soobin furrowed his eyebrows. "He didn't touch Beomgyu and Yeonjun hyung right?"

Before Huening Kai could answer, a shrill interrupted them causing everyone to scream once they realized what was happening.

"Get the fuck off of me!" Sunwoo screeched, as Yeonjun and Sunwoo were wrestling for the knife. 

"Stop it! Sunwoo drop the knife! Yeonjun!" Jennie screamed, covering her mouth with her hands as she burst into tears knowing that she couldn't do anything to help either of them.

Tears were running down Soobin's cheeks as he helplessly watched Yeonjun struggled to get the sharp object out of Sunwoo's reach. Even though they weren't on good terms, he didn't want Yeonjun to die. He didn't want this to happen. He didn't want any of this. 

"Yeonjun hyung!" Soobin sobbed, trying to reach out to the older but was pulled back by the other members.

"Let go of the knife!" Yeonjun grunted, punching Sunwoo across the face causing the red-haired to reel back in pain.

"Call the police and manager Jaehyuk! Hurry!" Taehyun said to Beomgyu who quickly pulled his phone out and decided to dial the police first. He would call Jaehyuk after they made sure the police were on their way.

"No don't you fucking call anyone!" Sunwoo spat, recovering and using his power to shove Yeonjun onto the ground and kick his stomach. Yeonjun groaned in pain, doubling over.

"Don't hurt him!" Huening Kai cried, rushing over to Yeonjun's aid and leaning over his body to protect him. "Please Sunwoo."

"Then tell Beomgyu to put the phone down," Sunwoo ordered, glaring down at the raven-haired boy.

Jennie turned to tearily stare at Beomgyu, giving him a look. Beomgyu understood the look and slowly tucked his phone back into his pocket, not wanting to make things worse.

"You know. I adored you Huening Kai. I loved you so much and I thought you would want to be with me too. I wanted you to notice me even if I had to kill you," Sunwoo scoffed, his eyes drifting over to everyone who fearfully watched him.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry that I'm not the person you want me to be! I'm sorry but please don't hurt my friends and don't hurt Jennie. Please hurting people isn't the answer Sunwoo," Huening Kai sobbed, trying to empathize with Sunwoo who warily eyed him. Almost as if he was about to comply when his eyes landed on Soobin who was trying to discreetly dial the police on his phone.

"You, come over here!"

It was like Soobin had stopped breathing when he felt Sunwoo's eyes on him. He must have saw him try to use his phone. 

Soobin slowly edged towards Sunwoo, stopping slightly. 

"Soobin. Don't test me. Come over here!" Sunwoo threatened.

"Don't touch him! Don't fucking touch him," Yeonjun coughed, attempting to sit up whilst holding his stomach. Huening Kai stopped him from moving any further in case he made his injury worse.

"Please, Sunwoo," Soobin shook his head whilst begging. "You can stop this. You don't need to do this."

"Don't tell me what I need to do!" Sunwoo hissed in frustration, aiming the knife at Soobin who flinched and backed away in fear.

"Sunwoo. Mom and dad wouldn't want you to do this. They wouldn't want you to hurt innocent people. This isn't right," Jennie said, bringing up their parents which was a sensitive subject for Sunwoo since their parents had died in a car crash. Even though they weren't Jennie's real parents, they were her family and she loved them as Sunwoo did.

"Don't bring up my parents! You don't get to talk about them like you even cared about them!" Sunwoo yelled.

"Sunwoo-"

"Shut the hell up! Today I came here to get what's rightfully mine and that's Huening Kai," Sunwoo said, staring down at the younger.

"You're not going to touch him!" Soobin hissed, rushing forward for the knife only for Sunwoo to thrust the sharp object into Soobin.

It was like time stopped when the knife came in contact with Soobin's pale skin. He had never thought about dying. He didn't want to die. He didn't even get to get married. Have kids. He only debuted this year. His fans. His members. He didn't get to tell Yeonjun that he was sorry for being a dumb jerk. He didn't get to apologize to Taehyun for holding the younger back from expressing his feelings towards Beomgyu. He didn't get to apologize for being a selfish leader and not protecting Huening Kai like he was supposed to.

He didn't get to bond with his mom.

"Soobin!" Everyone screamed as the brown-haired boy blinked down at the knife wedged through his stomach. Blood wetting his shirt as he dropped to the ground.

Sunwoo shakily gazed down at his hands as he watched Soobin collapse onto the ground. "I..I'm.I.."

Soobin stared up at the ceiling as distorted figures stood around him. His vision slowly turning white as a lone tear rolled down his cheek. 

So this was what it felt like to die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIPLE UPDATE BITCHES!!!! 
> 
> Sorry for all the swearing and the slightly gory scene at the end! Soobinnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!! I'm keeping everything a secret until the next chapter so no spoilers from me ;)
> 
> Hehe anyways thank you guys for always leaving sweet and cute comments! Even though I don't always reply I do read them so thank you!
> 
> Love youuu guys <3


	30. Chapter 30

It felt as though everything had happened so fast, like the speed of light. Everything had just flashed by his eyes. He couldn't believe what he had just witnessed. He didn't even think it was real. He thought he was having a bad nightmare—which somehow felt so real but as soon as he snapped out of his shell shocked state, he realized that all of this was real. Sunwoo had stabbed Soobin and now the younger was on the floor bleeding.

"Soobin! Soobin!" Yeonjun sobbed, dropping onto his knees—not even caring if it hurt as he crawled over to Soobin who was having difficulty breathing and keeping his eyes open. "Stay awake, please. Please. Please. Help is coming just please..please don't fall asleep."

Sunwoo stared at his trembling hands whilst rapidly blinking. It was almost as if he couldn't believe that he had done something like this. He didn't think he would be capable of attempted murder. All he wanted to do was to get Huening Kai's attention. He just wanted Huening Kai to feel the same way about him but Soobin had gotten in the way and had ended up being the brunt of him lashing out. "I.."

"You need to leave Sunwoo. You need to get the hell out of here," Jennie hissed, her voice filled with disgust and utter hate as she couldn't even bring herself to meet her brother's teary eyes. She didn't even know who he was anymore. Someone that she had grown up with and tried to look after turned out to be a monster. A heartless and crazy monster. All this time when their parents were alive, she had tried to convince them that something wasn't right about Sunwoo and that he needed help but their parents had thought that she was just jealous that Sunwoo was getting all the attention. They hadn't taken her seriously but if they were here today, they would see that Sunwoo wasn't the same anymore. He had changed into a psychopath who only cared about himself and hurt people for amusement.

"How could you? How could you do something like this? How could you Sunwoo!" Huening Kai screamed, attempting to lunge at the red-haired boy but was held back by Taehyun who was on the verge of tears. "You're crazy! Crazy! You deserved to be locked up for the rest of your life."

Sunwoo's breath hitched in his throat as he blinked at Huening Kai, his bottom lip stuck between his teeth and his fists tightly clenched against his sides. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. Huening Kai wasn't supposed to hate his guts. He wasn't supposed to hurt somebody. He just wanted to be loved and accepted. "I'm..I'm-"

Sunwoo was interrupted by Beomgyu who had rushed back into the main part of the living room with a solemn look on his face. "The ambulance, police and our managers are coming."

"I-I don't w-wanna di-die," Soobin wheezed, clasping Yeonjun's hands in his.

Yeonjun shook his head, tears falling from his eyes. "No, no. You're not gonna die Soobinie. You're going to make it."

Huening Kai also dropped onto his knees, crawling over to where Yeonjun and Soobin were—Taehyun following after him.

It was like he wanted to do everything in his power to help Soobin but it was as if he was powerless. There wasn't anything he could do to make this right. He was the reason why Soobin had gotten hurt. Soobin had put Huening Kai first and protected him. How was Huening Kai going to live with himself knowing that he was the cause of this? It had all started from him.

"Soobin hyung," Taehyun cried, covering his mouth with his hand as he stared down at their leader's extremely pale face.

Soobin had always been pale but not as pale as this. It looked like there was no life in him.

"It's all my fault. I'm so-sorry. I'm-I'm sorry," Huening Kai stuttered, breaking down as he leaned over Soobin's body and rested his head on Soobin's chest.

Beomgyu lingered at the back, silently crying with Jennie. 

Sunwoo had managed to slip out of their dorm, his heartbeat racing as he rushed into the elevator and quickly jabbed his finger at the button to go down before taking a deep breath and shutting his eyes. No one managed to notice him leave so he had a chance to get away. The police couldn't find him. They couldn't. He had to leave. Leave everything behind.

"I should have stopped him. I should have tried harder," Jennie teared up, shaking her head as Beomgyu slipped his hand into hers.

"No it's not your fault. Sunwoo was hurting you too and you were scared. You didn't know what to do," Beomgyu reasoned, comforting Jennie.

Suddenly, Soobin started dry-heaving causing everyone to rush over and circle the pale bleeding brown-haired boy. Everyone wore worried expressions on their faces including Yeonjun who was widely staring down at Soobin with shock.

"What's happening to him?" Taehyun quietly asked, watching how Soobin was struggling to take another breath.

"I..I..I don't know," Yeonjun stammered, trying to sit Soobin up. "When did you say the ambulance are coming?"

"They said they'd be here as soon as they could," Beomgyu nervously said, chewing on his thumb.

Huening Kai scanned around the living room, not spotting Sunwoo. "Sunwoo escaped."

Yeonjun's face darkened, anger bursting through his veins. "That little bastard. I'm gonna murder him with my own two hands for hurting Soobin. For breaking into our dorm. I'm gonna-"

"Hyung, please. We can't think like this. Soobin's life is on the line," Taehyun pleaded, reaching over to rest a comforting hand on Yeonjun's tense shoulder.

Yeonjun relaxed slightly at Taehyun's touch but slowly turned around to glare at Jennie. "You shouldn't be here. You don't deserve to be here. Get the fuck out."

Jennie's mouth open and closed, not knowing what to say as she guiltily looked down at the floor. "I'm..I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't think-"

"Both of you are crazy! Crazy and disgusting human beings," Yeonjun spat, causing Huening Kai to interfere.

"Yeonjun hyung, please don't call Jennie unnie that. She wasn't a part of Sunwoo's plans," Huening Kai defended Jennie but the older female stopped him with a small smile.

"It's okay Huening Kai. He's right. I should have done my best to convince Sunwoo not to come here. I deserve to be called that," Jennie sadly said, tearing up.

"Glad we're on the same page," Yeonjun bitterly grunted before spanning his attention back to Soobin.

Beomgyu threw Taehyun an unreadable look. Almost as if he was silently begging the younger to comfort him and tell him that everything was going to be okay. Taehyun had always been the calm and rationale one in scary situations. Beomgyu had always counted on Taehyun for safety. 

Taehyun blankly glanced at him before diverting his gaze, causing a flash of hurt to pass through Beomgyu.

He instantly knew that things weren't going to be the same ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the long wait for this chapter. Sorry that it seemed a little rush, I was having a little writers block and wasn't sure how to continue from the last chapter but hopefully you guys enjoyed this chapter! Once again thank you so much for so many reads and always leaving sweet comments that warm my heart.
> 
> I love you guysss <3


	31. Chapter 31

Sunwoo's heart hammered against his chest as he ran for his life. The harsh breeze blew against his sweaty and sticky skin. He couldn't believe what he had just done. This wasn't the way he was supposed to get Huening Kai's attention. This wasn't the way it happened in his dreams. Huening Kai was supposed to run away with him so they could live happily ever after. A happily ever after where there was no other fans and people to get in the way of his true destiny with Huening Kai. Of course when he had explored his ideas with his older sister Jennie, she had ridiculed him and said that he needed mental support. Sunwoo vowed that day not to let anything get in the way.

He had never thought he was capable of attempting to kill someone.

 

"The ambulance should be here soon," Beomgyu chewed on his bottom lip as he rubbed a comforting hand on Huening Kai's tense shoulder. 

"Kids!"

Everyone's head turned towards their front door to see their managers Jaehyuk and Sara burst through and rush over to Soobin who was being cradled in Yeonjun's arms. 

"What happened?" Sara asked the others whilst Jaehyuk tended to Soobin who was having difficulty staying awake. 

"He was stabbed by a saesang fan. A crazy saesang fan that broke into our dorm whilst we were on a schedule," Taehyun explained, his voice unstable from the trauma of today. Despite being one of the most maturer members, he was still young.

"Sara," Jaehyuk stared up at Sara, "call the police. We're filing for attempted murder and a break in. Call up the rest of the management team and see if we could move dorms and find better residency."

Sara hastily nodded before rushing over to the other side of the room and pulling out her phone. 

Yeonjun rocked back and forth on the floor as he wrapped his arms around his knees. It felt like he was stuck in a horrible and terrifying nightmare. A nightmare he so desperately wanted to get out of. This couldn't be real. Soobin bleeding out on the floor couldn't be real. This was just some sick and disturbing lucid dream. It had to be. It wasn't until his eyes slowly flickered over to Huening Kai who was sobbing uncontrollably whilst Beomgyu and Taehyun comforted him that he realized that this was reality and Soobin was really hurt. 

"Where the fuck is the ambulance?" Yeonjun snapped, tired of waiting around and doing nothing. His sudden mean outburst caused everyone's eyes to be on him including Jaehyuk who furrowed his eyebrows.

"Yeonjun, they'll be here soon but in the mean time-"

Yeonjun scoffed, staring at Jaehyuk with a look of unbelief. "In the mean time? Where the hell where you? The both of you when all of this was happening! You guys are the reason that Soobin is hurt! If you..If you.."

"Hyung, stop! It's no one's fault but Sunwoo. Don't blame the people who are only trying to help," Beomgyu tried to calm Yeonjun down only to receive a deadly glare.

"Help?" Yeonjun spat out in utter disbelief. "Yeah, a little bit too late."

"Yeonjun, please this isn't the right time to argue. Right now, we have to focus on Soobin," Jaehyuk feebly sighed, flickering his worried gaze over to Soobin who was barely breathing.

Yeonjun swallowed a huge lump stuck in his throat before his eyes fell on the brown-haired younger. His eyes raked over Soobin's pale and sickly face. 

If he had tried harder. If he had just tried harder to protect everyone then Soobin wouldn't have gotten hurt. It was his fault. It was his responsibility as the oldest member in the group to take care of everyone but of course he failed at doing so. 

"The police and ambulance are on their way," Sara announced, making her way over to everyone.

The tension in the living room was thick as no one uttered a word, everyone's eyes on Soobin and Yeonjun.

"I'm sorry."

Huening Kai sobbed, his whole body trembling as he squeezed his eyes shut. "I'm the reason why Soobin hyung is hurt. Sunwoo came for me. If only I-"

"Please don't blame yourself Huening Kai," Sara softly said, kneeling down to wrap a comforting arm around the maknae. 

Despite Sara's reassuring words, he couldn't help but feel like he was a burden. After all, Sunwoo had came with the idea that he was going to comply and go with Sunwoo. When Sunwoo didn't get his way, he took it out on everyone and including Soobin. Ever since that day that Sunwoo had kept him hostage in his house, the red-haired boy had gotten mentally attached with him and that's when his imagination started to go wild. 

Everyone's heads shot up at the sound of sirens whirring. It must be the ambulance and police.

"I'll go get them," Jaehyuk offered before anyone else could, hastily rushing out of the dorm. 

"You're gonna be okay Soobinie," Yeonjun whispered, his fingers raking through Soobin's greasy locks.

Beomgyu silently cried, tears slipping from his wide eyes. 

From the corner of his eye, Taehyun worriedly watched him before reaching over to lace his fingers through Beomgyu's who slowly stared down at their hands in shock.

Taehyun didn't say anything but instead gave Beomgyu's hand a soft squeeze to show that the younger was here for him.

And that was enough for Beomgyu to be brave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG OMG! I'M SO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT. I'M REALLY SORRY FOR THE LONG TWO MONTHS HIATUS. I'VE BEEN SO BUSY WITH SCHOOL AND HAVEN'T HAD A LOT OF TIME TO UPDATE AND WRITE A NEW CHAPTER.
> 
> But I'm sort of back now and I'm sorry if this chapter isn't good enough! Thank you to everyone who has stuck around and constantly leaving heartwarming comments! It means a lot especially since I haven't been updating a lot. 
> 
> I love you guys! And thank you so much for being patient! ;( <3


	32. Chapter 32

"I'm sorry but Soobin can't have any visitors right now," one of the doctors had apologetically said, causing everyone else to stop following the nurses that were wheeling Soobin on a stretcher. 

"We'll wait here," Jaehyuk tiredly sighed, nodding his head over to the seats before sinking into one with his arms crossed.

Yeonjun hesitantly plopped down next to Huening Kai who was still in an emotional and self-blaming daze whilst Beomgyu and Taehyun sat together and Sara sat with a sleepy Jaehyuk. 

Yeonjun couldn't help but want to reach over to the black-haired younger and tell him that it wasn't his fault but at the same time he knew they weren't on good terms and he wasn't sure if Huening Kai would want to hear words of comfort from Yeonjun out of all people. 

"I still can't believe this happened," Beomgyu muttered, staring into space. 

Taehyun chewed down on his bottom lip, his hand edging towards a trembling Beomgyu before settling his hand down on top of Beomgyu's. "Me either but we're gonna get through this. As a team."

Beomgyu turned to gaze into Taehyun's wide brown eyes. "Are we gonna be okay?"

Taehyun froze, his brain trying to register Beomgyu's words. He wasn't sure whether he was addressing the team or if he was talking about him and Beomgyu so instead of replying, Taehyun had kept quiet causing Beomgyu's face to slightly drop and to yank his hand away from the younger's.

"Beomgyu-"

"It's fine," Beomgyu huffed, gritting his teeth together.

Taehyun sighed, leaning back into his seat. He hadn't meant to hurt Beomgyu's feelings. It's just he wasn't sure what Beomgyu had meant and it took him too long to reply. Even so, he wasn't even sure what he could classify their relationship as or if they even had one. Sometime along the way he had discovered he had feelings for Beomgyu and just as he was about to talk to Beomgyu about it, this tragedy had happened and of course he wasn't blaming Soobin because it wasn't his fault what had happened to him. He just wished he had been able to confront Beomgyu earlier. 

 

"I always seem to do the wrong thing," Huening Kai snivelled, wiping the tears cascading down his cheeks. 

Yeonjun slowly turned to stare at Huening Kai, his face softening at the sight of their maknae looking so distressed and upset. He wished there was something he could just so he could take away all the pain and guilt that Huening Kai was feeling. No matter what terms they were on, he still loved Huening Kai and couldn't ever bear the thought of Huening Kai hating himself. He was the youngest member which meant that he was the most vulnerable. Half the time, Huening Kai didn't even know what he was doing and that's when Yeonjun would step in. To lead the way and to show Huening Kai right from wrong. But now, it was like they had drifted apart and any means of the relationship they had before had been buried under the jealousy and anger they had felt towards each other. He knew that Soobin would want him to sort this out with Huening Kai. 

"Huening Kai," Yeonjun softly called out, causing Huening Kai to drop his hand from his face and to meet Yeonjun's eyes. "It wasn't your fault that a crazy psycho had decided to stalk and terrorize you. It wasn't your fault what had happened to Soobin. The only person to blame is Sunwoo. Not you."

"But-"

"Look, I know our relationship has been a bit rocky these days but that doesn't mean that I would ever stop caring or loving you. You're like a little brother to me and I would do anything for you to be happy and safe. So please stop blaming yourself," Yeonjun said, cutting off Huening Kai.

Huening Kai's bottom lip quivered as he tearily blinked at Yeonjun, the emotions building up inside of him had caused him to burst out into a heart-wrenching sob. 

It had grabbed everyone's attention even the doctors but Huening Kai didn't care. He threw his arms around Yeonjun and hugged him tightly. Yeonjun was quick to wrap his arms around Huening Kai and return the hug. Slowly caressing Huening Kai's hair.

Jaehyuk and Sara stared at the pair with worry but were relieved when they caught Yeonjun's small smile that reassured them that everything was okay.

 

Soobin's eyes slowly fluttered open, the bright light in the hospital room slightly causing his eyes to water. He let out a yawn as he lifted his hand up to cover his mouth before dropping it back down on the bed. His eyes landed on a young female doctor that was jotting down a few notes on her clipboard whilst adjusting Soobin's IV drip. 

Her eyes flickered over to Soobin once she realized he was awake, a large smile rested on her face. "How did you sleep?"

Soobin sheepishly shrugged, overwhelmed by her enthusiasm. "Okay, I guess."

"Good! I'm Doctor Kim and I'll be taking care of you for the rest of your recovery," she said, the clipboard still clasped in her hands.

Soobin nodded, slightly grimacing as he felt a sharp pain in his head.

Doctor Kim's face dropped in concern as she reached over to rest her hand onto Soobin's forehead to feel his temperature. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I just have a tiny headache," Soobin hoarsely said, coughing.

"That's normal especially after the medication we've been giving to you," Doctor Kim reassured, removing her hand from Soobin's forehead and jotting down a few more notes on her clipboard before looking back up at Soobin. "You hungry? I can ask one of the nurses to get you some food?"

"Yeah I'm really hungry," Soobin shyly said, as Doctor Kim chuckled before disappearing out of the room.

Soobin's eyes scanned around the hospital room he would be staying at for a while. He sighed, his mind wondering to his members, managers and fans. He hoped everyone was okay and not too worried. Especially Huening Kai, he knew the younger would be blaming himself and he didn't want that. He didn't want Huening Kai to feel burdened over something that wasn't his fault. 

He just hoped that Sunwoo wouldn't get away with what he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woooo! Another chapter uploaded! I'm so happy because this book hasn't been forgotten about! And thank you soooo much for all the kind and heartwarming comments! A special mention to all the readers that have been patiently waiting for an update or always the first to read after a minute of it being posted! I love you guys and thank you so much for always supporting me and this book! And thank you for being understanding!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! <3


	33. Chapter 33

Soobin feebly sighed as he lightly munched on the chicken salad sandwich that the nurses had provided him with even though he wasn't a big fan of salad, he couldn't complain because he was starving. As he silently ate, his mind wandered back to the day and moment it all happened in the dorm. The moment that the knife had come in contact with his stomach and ripped through his skin. He could remember the screams and cries that filled the room after he had collapsed to the ground. Soobin believed that he was going to die and that he wouldn't make it to their next comeback. 

"Soobin!" Doctor Kim enthusiastically called out, entering his hospital room and walking towards his bed. A bright tight-lipped smile sat on her face as like usual she had her brown clipboard clasped in one hand and a black pen in the other. "You up for having visitors?"

Soobin's breath hitched in his throat as he realised that he hadn't been able to see everyone else yet. "Uh..yeah. Definitely."

Doctor Kim's smile dropped slightly upon seeing Soobin's uncertain demeanor. "You don't sound like you're ready. It's okay to feel as though-"

"I'm ready," Soobin confidently interrupted her, his lips pressed into a tight line as he stared at her. 

 

"Huening Kai, I don't think it's a good idea for you to see Soobin just yet," Jaehyuk said, guilt washing over him as he saw the way the black haired boy's face dropped in sadness and disappointment.

"It's because I'm the cause of this. I understand hyung," Huening Kai defeatedly mumbled, standing up from the table.

Everyone's eyes were on him especially Yeonjun. 

"Hyung, I'll supervise him. I'll make sure that nothing happens. He'll be okay," Yeonjun chimed in causing Jaehyuk to blink at him in surprise. 

"I don't-"

"I promise," Yeonjun persisted, his eyes full of desperation. 

Jaehyuk's gaze flickered back and forth between Yeonjun and Huening Kai before he let out a reluctant sigh and nodded whilst leaning back into his chair. 

"We'll let Yeonjun and Huening Kai see Soobin hyung first," Beomgyu maturely said, a small smile on his face as he made eye contact with a thankful Yeonjun.

Taehyun frowned, his fists clenched under the table and his head slightly bowed. It angered him that despite them being a group, they were still separated. He had wanted to see Soobin first and even thought it sounded selfish; he couldn't help it. He had as much right as Yeonjun and Huening Kai to see Soobin first. 

"How is that fair? We're all members and we're all supposed to be a group. Why is that Yeonjun hyung and Huening Kai get to visit Soobin first?" Taehyun snapped, not holding back as the meeting room was silent. It was like everyone was trying to register what had just come out of Taehyun's mouth.

It was unusual for people to see Taehyun angry and when they did, it left them speechless because of the way he expressed his anger. He told the truth and people were stunned at that.

From the corner of his eye, he could feel Beomgyu staring at him with shock.

"Taehyun it-it's not like that," Yeonjun stammered, his mouth slightly agape as he started to feel guilty.

"Hyung I'm sorry we didn't mean to make it seem as though we deserved to see Soobin hyung more than you and Beomgyu," Huening Kai quietly said, sadly staring at Taehyun.

"Bullshit! You guys know what you're doing. You don't care about me or Beomgyu. You'd rather it be me that got hurt so you're precious Soobin can be okay!" Taehyun yelled.

Realizing what he had said, Taehyun's eyes slowly widened before he shot up from his seat and stormed out of the meeting room.

Yeonjun's eyes were brimming with tears as he tried to look away from where Taehyun sat whilst Beomgyu and Huening Kai were in stunned silence. Jaehyuk didn't even know what to say as he looked at all the members before running a hand down his face.

Taehyun's words had hit everyone deeply. Not just the fact that he thought that they thought he didn't deserve to Soobin but that he thought they would rather have Taehyun in that hospital bed. None of them could ever think that. Yeonjun loved each and every member. Yes, he did love Soobin differently but that didn't change the fact that he treasured each and everyone of the members. He would do anything to protect them. 

"I'll go check on him," Beomgyu muttered, slowly standing up before walking out of the room leaving Yeonjun, Huening Kai and Jaehyuk.

"You kids have been through a lot but you guys are going to get through this because you're not just a group but a family and families go through tough times and that's what makes them stronger. That's what makes their bond unbreakable," Jaehyuk said, as Yeonjun and Huening Kai shared a soft glance.

 

Taehyun sobbed as he sunk down the wall onto the floor. His head buried in his knees as small sobs escaped his lips. He hadn't noticed Beomgyu sit down next to him on the floor until he heard him ask, "Are you okay?"

The brown haired boy took a deep breath before lifting his head up, tears rolling down his cheeks and dripping onto his arms. "Honestly, no. I just feel as though I keep saying the wrong things and I can't help but feel angry even though I know it's not Yeonjun and Huening Kai's faults. I didn't mean to yell at them like that."

Beomgyu bit his lip before scooting over closer to Taehyun and wrapping an arm around the younger. "I know, I know. It's okay. They're not mad at you. Don't ever say that we wished it was you in that hospital bed instead of Soobin because that isn't true. We don't want either of you in the hospital. I'm sorry for not seeing that you were upset beforehand."

Taehyun could feel butterflies in his stomach as Beomgyu leaned into him more. He held his breath not wanting to make the wrong move. They both sat in silence for a while; just staring into space and thinking. It felt nice to be able to just sit and think with someone that meant a lot to you. 

"Taehyun-ah," Beomgyu softly called out, his breath fanning the younger's neck.

Taehyun turned his head slightly to gaze into Beomgyu's brown orbs and that's when he noticed their close proximity. A warm feeling ran through his body. "Y-Yes?"

That's when Beomgyu leaned in and pressed his lips against Taehyun's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update guysss! Like I said, thank you so much for all the support and beautiful & funny comments! Sorry for the slow updates though :(
> 
> But I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! Have a nice day lovelies <3


	34. Chapter 34

Taehyun's eyes slowly widened in shock as he froze, the overwhelming feeling of Beomgyu's lips on his caused his heartbeat to pace faster and his nerves start to kick in. He had imagined so many scenarios of them kissing but never had he expected them to actually happen or for Beomgyu to take initiative especially when especially he hadn't clearly explained how he really felt about their relationship or whatever this was. 

It felt like a while until the auburn-haired older finally pulled away, letting out a breath he didn't even know he was holding back. Beomgyu gazed into Taehyun's glistening brown eyes, almost stuck in a trance as neither of them said a word. 

"Why-Why did you kiss me?" Taehyun quietly asked, it was so quiet that Beomgyu wouldn't have been able to hear if he wasn't so close to the younger.

That was a question that caused Beomgyu to stay silent for a while as he thought it over. Why did he kiss Taehyun? Was it out of comfort? Love? He really wasn't sure but at the same time he didn't want to hurt Taehyun's feelings and say it was out of comfort when they both knew it wasn't. Over the past few weeks, Beomgyu couldn't help but slowly start to develop these unexplainable feelings for Taehyun. With all the problems they were facing and with Soobin being in the hospital, he could never find the right time to talk to the younger about his feelings and it had put a strain on their friendship and relationship.

"Look, I don't really know what's going on with me but all I can really say is that I think I like you Taehyun. More than a friend that's for sure and I'm sorry for taking so long to finally say it," Beomgyu truthfully explained, looking away from Taehyun.

Taehyun chewed on his bottom lip whilst playing with his fingers. For a long time, Taehyun had waited to hear this from Beomgyu. Of course he was ecstatic that the way Beomgyu felt was out in the open between them but at the same time he couldn't help but wonder how this would work especially with the situation going on. 

"Hyung," Taehyun softly called out, waiting for Beomgyu to make eye contact with him before slowly reaching over to intertwine their fingers together. "Whatever happens just know that I'm always gonna be here for you no matter how this ends."

Beomgyu wasn't sure what Taehyun meant but nevertheless he smiled at the younger before dropping his head gently onto his shoulder. They stayed in that position for a while in comfortable silence. 

 

"I'll drive you guys to the hospital," Jaehyuk said, getting up from his chair whilst tugging his coat on. 

Yeonjun stared up at him with confusion. "What about Beomgyu and Taehyun?"

"They'll get to see Soobin tomorrow. It's not that big of a deal now come on let's go," Jaehyuk sighed. It was like he was hiding something and it made Yeonjun worry.

Yeonjun wasn't that type of person to be selfish and take an opportunity away from someone. He cared about each and every member. Sometimes he didn't show it and sometimes he did but everyone knew that Yeonjun expressed his love and care for his members openly and freely which scared their management and the company. It scared a lot of people how open Yeonjun was to the point that their managers would constantly have to talk to Yeonjun about toning down the way he interacted with the members. Of course it hurt, having to hide his true personality but at the same time he didn't want to be a burden. 

Just as Huening Kai was about to stand up, Jaehyuk stopped him. "Not you Huening Kai just Yeonjun."

The pair went quiet as they exchanged looks of worry and unsureness. Their manager was definitely hiding something and it had something to do with Soobin. It wasn't right that the other members couldn't come with him to visit Soobin. It wasn't fair. They were supposed to be a team. A group. 

"Why just me?" Yeonjun asked, not moving from his seat as he narrowed his eyes at the older middle-aged man.

Jaehyuk let out a puff of annoyance as he ran a hand through his black hair before dropping it back onto the chair. He didn't know how to say this Yeonjun. He hated lying to the younger boy but at the same time he had no choice because this was his job. This was what he was paid to do. The fact that he had to use visiting Soobin as an excuse just so Yeonjun could comply was honestly disgusting but Sihyuk had forced him to do whatever it took to bring Yeonjun.

"Yeonjun. Please just do as you're told and get up. Huening Kai will stay back with the other staff, Taehyun and Beomgyu so you don't have to worry. We're gonna be late," Jaehyuk impatiently said raising his voice.

Yeonjun slightly flinched at Jaehyuk yelling at him before immediately getting up from his seat. Huening Kai stayed quiet, his head bowed and tears slipping out of his eyes. He didn't understand what was going on. Did something happen to Soobin? Why couldn't they all visit him? What was happening?

Jaehyuk led the way as he walked out of the meeting room. Yeonjun slightly hesitated as his eyes flickered over to Huening Kai. He wanted to say something but he knew he had to follow after Jaehyuk. He deeply sighed before rushing after their manager knowing that the older man would be angry if Yeonjun wasn't behind him.

 

Taehyun could hear footsteps approaching as he quickly slid his fingers out of Beomgyu's and scooted away from him causing the older to blink at him with confusion until his eyes landed on Jaehyuk and Yeonjun who turned the corner and were walking straight towards them. Yeonjun's head was slightly bowed whilst he walked behind their manager.

Beomgyu frowned. Wasn't Huening Kai supposed to go with them? Why only Yeonjun?

Jaehyuk stopped in front of Taehyun and Beomgyu who were sitting down with their backs pressed against the wall. He had an annoyed look on his aging face. "Yah, you two shouldn't be sitting here. Go wait in the meeting room with Huening Kai."

Taehyun's nostrils flared as he was about to make a snide comment when Beomgyu placed a hand on his arm, giving him a look of warning. 

The pair noticed how Yeonjun wasn't making eye contact with them and was looking at anything else but them. They could tell he felt guilty for leaving the other members here but he had no choice. 

"Come on," Beomgyu tiredly sighed, hauling himself up before helping Taehyun up. They started to walk towards the meeting room and Yeonjun continued following an impatient Jaehyuk.

Yeonjun slightly turned his head to meet Beomgyu's eyes which were full of anger and sadness before turning back around and walking out of the building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm, where do you think Jaehyuk is really taking Yeonjun? 
> 
> I really do feel bad for the other members who were hoping to see Soobin and how he was recovering especially Huening Kai.
> 
> Anywayssss hopefully you guys enjoyed the chapter and thank you for reading! Love you guys <3


	35. Chapter 35

Yeonjun jumped into the black sleek car that was waiting outside of the BigHit building, his heart beat pacing faster and faster whilst his body was trembling with nerves and anxiety. He started to realize that Jaehyuk wasn't taking him to see Soobin when his eyes landed on another unfamiliar man wearing an all black business attire but didn't dare utter a word as he saw the look that Jaehyuk was throwing him. 

"You must be Yeonjun," the man in black purred, staring at the younger boy through the rearview mirror with an extreme amount of lust that it sent shivers down his spine.

Afraid that his voice wouldn't cooperate, he instead nodded whilst playing with his fingers. 

"You can call me Mr Jaejin," he slowly smiled, repeatedly tapping his fingers against the steering wheel.

"Mr Jaejin, where are we going? I-I don't understand why only me," Yeonjun stammered as he looked around at the unfamiliar shops and houses that filled the road.

Mr Jaejin's smile faltered as instead he let out a cry of laughter before turning to side eye Jaehyuk who was averting his gaze by staring out the window. "You haven't told the boy yet have you?"

"Told me what? What? Manager-nim? Jaehyuk hyung?" Yeonjun persisted, tears starting to fill his eyes as he realized that they were at their destination. They pulled up into a shady looking area causing Yeonjun to shrink into his seat with fear.

"Just..Just go with him Yeonjun-ah," Jaehyuk sighed, guilt seeping through his body as he ran a hand through his hair.

"G-Go wh-where? To do what?" Yeonjun hoarsely asked, staring back and forth between his manager and the strange man who was watching him with amusement.

"I'm just going to ask you a few questions Yeonjun. If you could follow me out of the car," Mr Jaejin said, turning the running car engine off and opening the car door before stepping out.

Yeonjun gave one last lingering look at Jaehyuk who refused to stare at him. His vision was blurry with tears. "Hyung-"

"For fucks sake Yeonjun just go with the man!" Jaehyuk snapped, slamming his hands down on the dashboard causing the younger boy to flinch back in fear before hurrying out of the car and slamming the door shut. 

Mr Jaejin was leaning against the car hood, a cigarette in hand as he inhaled the smoke before puffing it out into the air. He nodded over to the run down house that they were parked near. "Let's go into my house to talk."

Yeonjun was afraid to ask what just exactly they were going to talk about as he timidly followed behind Mr Jaejin who climbed up the few steps to his house before taking out his keys and unlocking the front door. Once the door was open, he stepped in first and pushed the door open wider so Yeonjun could come in.

Yeonjun slightly hesitated as he entered the small house, it didn't look as messy in the inside as it did from the outside but it was still an unpleasant house setting. Mr Jaejin shut the front door before zooming past Yeonjun and into the living room. 

"Take a seat," Mr Jaejin calmly said, plopping onto the arm chair.

"Who are you and why did my manager bring me here?" Yeonjun questioned, slowly sinking into the sofa with his hands in his lap.

Mr Jaejin narrowed his eyes at the younger boy, a peculiar expression on his wrinkled face. "He really didn't tell you?"

Yeonjun's eyes were wide as he shook his head in response, waiting for the man to finally put the pieces together and explain what was going on.

"I'm a private detector and I was hired by your manager Jaehyuk to hunt down a saesang fan that assaulted another member of your group I'm presuming is Soobin?" Mr Jaejin explained as it all started to make sense in Yeonjun's puzzled brain.

"Private..detector?" Yeonjun slowly repeated, blinking at the man.

"That's about right," Mr Jaejin grinned, leaning back into the chair. "Now I'm going to need you to tell me everything that happened that day in detail."

 

Beomgyu, Taehyun and Huening Kai sat in silence in the meeting room not even sure of what they were waiting for. 

Huening Kai's head was bowed as tears streamed down his face, he let out a little sniffle causing Taehyun to stare at him with sadness.

"I know how much you wanted to see Soobin hyung today. I'm sorry for getting mad and blaming you and Yeonjun," Taehyun apologized, fiddling with his fingers.

Huening Kai shook his head, wiping his tears away with the back of his hand before he lifted his head up to meet Taehyun's guilty eyes. "It's okay hyung."

Beomgyu chewed on his bottom lip, a mischievous look playing on his face. "Maybe we can still see him."

Taehyun furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "But Yeonjun and manager-nim are already visiting Soobin. You heard hyung he told us to stay put. If we go there, it'll cause problems."

"We have a right to see Soobin no matter what. So we're going. All the other staff are having their break so they wouldn't notice if we disappeared," Beomgyu shrugged, standing up from his chair.

Huening Kai hesitated, a bad feeling holding him back as he gazed up at Beomgyu who was expectantly waiting for the pair to follow him. "Hyung, are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Do you want to see Soobin hyung or not?" Beomgyu impatiently said, raising an eyebrow at the both of them. "For all we know something bad could have happened to him and we would be the ones finding out late. So, are you coming or not?"

"I'm coming," Huening Kai quietly muttered, getting up from his seat and pulling the hem of his shirt down. 

Taehyun let out a deep sigh before also standing up and following after the pair out of the room and into the empty hallway. 

He could hear the staff's laughter and a wave of guilt washed over him. Taehyun wasn't the type of person to be scolded or to get in trouble but he had a feeling that today was going to be his first time.

"Come on," Beomgyu whispered, leading the way out of the building.

The crisp cool air hitting Taehyun as he inhaled the fresh air. "How are we gonna get there without a ride? We can't get on public transport because we're idols, remember?" 

"Let's call an uber then," Huening Kai suggested, pulling out his phone out of his pocket.

"Hm, good idea," Beomgyu agreed, nodding before shuffling over to Huening Kai to watch over his shoulder.

Taehyun rolled his eyes, running his hands down his arm to create warmth. He didn't think it would get this cold otherwise he would have brought a jacket.

Beomgyu eyed him before tugging off his denim jacket and wrapping it around Taehyun's shoulders. "Here. Feel warmer?"

Taehyun sheepishly smiled as his cheeks flushed red. "Thanks, hyung."

Huening Kai raised an eyebrow at the heart-fluttering action but chose not to say anything as he shoved his phone back into his pocket. "The uber should be here in a few minutes or so."

"What do we do now?" Taehyun asked, looking around at the half-empty streets.

"We wait," Beomgyu sighed, plopping down onto the edge of the sidewalk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have so much ideas for this book so I'm not really sure when I want it to end because I do want to write down my ideas so be prepared for the excessive amount of chapters ;)
> 
> The members are going to be very confused when they find out that Jaehyuk never took Yeonjun to the hospital and that's when things are going to become very problematic. 
> 
> What do you guys think about Jaehyuk hiring a private detector to find Sunwoo? Do you have any ideas why he didn't just go to the police?
> 
> Anyways hopefully you guys enjoyed the chapter! Thank you so much for reading! <3


	36. Chapter 36

Beomgyu tiredly sighed, his chin resting in the palm of his hand as his eyes flickered over to every car that had driven past the trio. He didn't even know how long they waited for sitting on the edge of the sidewalk when their Uber had finally turned up. He woke up Huening Kai and Taehyun who had dozed off.

"Guys, wake up. Our ride is here," Beomgyu announced, shaking the other two drowsy members.

"I'm awake..I'm awake," Huening Kai incoherently grumbled, his eyes half-shut as he heaved himself up from the pavement. 

Taehyun's head slowly lolled onto Beomgyu's shoulder causing the older to be slightly taken aback. The small action had sent a blush across Beomgyu's cheeks. He knew how they were all tired of everything going on and the stress of not being able to see their leader but this is the reason why he had decided to take charge. If their managers weren't going to let them see him for a reason they were about to find out then they would have to go see themselves. He hated going against their managers but at the same time, they knew they had no choice. Soobin was the glue of Tomorrow x Together and without him, the group was slowly falling apart. Bit by bit. Beomgyu was trying to prevent that from happening. 

"Taehyun. We need to see Soobin and we're only wasting more time," Beomgyu softly said, patting the brown-haired boy's fluffy head. 

Taehyun seemed to have snapped out of his tired daze as he jolted awake. He yawned whilst surveying his surroundings before he locked eyes with Beomgyu and realized that he had fallen asleep on the older. He grimaced. "Sorry hyung. I didn't mean to fall asleep on you."

Beomgyu sheepishly smiled before slightly shrugging. "It's all good. Anyways," he swiftly changed the subject whilst standing up and dusting the back of his jeans, "we should get going."

Taehyun reluctantly stood up as the three of them walked over to their Uber driver who had parked alongside the road.

Once the trio were settled in the back of the car and their seatbelts were on, Beomgyu leaned into the front. "Seoul National University Hospital please, sir."

The middle-aged man threw the three young boys a friendly smile and nod before starting the car up.

"I'm scared to see Soobin hyung. We don't even know the condition he's in," Taehyun glumly said whilst staring out the window at the passing shops, people, streets and houses.

"If he was in a bad condition they would have told us Taehyun-ah. I'm sure he's fine and adjusting well to that hospital. They have the best doctors," Beomgyu reassured, confidently intertwining his fingers with Taehyun's.

Taehyun chewed on his bottom lip, trying to ignore the fluttery feeling he felt in his stomach. If he made eye contact with Beomgyu, he wouldn't be able to stop the blush ready to spread across his cheeks so instead, he continued to look out the window.

Huening Kai gently dropped his head onto Beomgyu's shoulder whilst playing with his fingers. "Do you think Soobin hyung blames me? I mean, after all, the reason why Sunwoo even broke into our dorm was that he wanted me to escape with him. Ever since that day, I ran away and Sunwoo had kidnapped me his obsession only got worse."

Soobin wasn't that type of person to hold a grudge against anyone. He was forgiving, kind and a positive ray of light. Even if someone would hurt his feelings, he would just keep on smiling and that's what Beomgyu envied about Soobin the fact that he was so persevering despite the number of difficulties that they had faced as individuals and as a whole group. 

"He could never blame you, Huening Kai. You know how much he loves you. Loves us. He could never hate any of us. What Sunwoo did wasn't your fault. He's suffering and acting out. For all we know, Jennie could have been in on helping Sunwoo," Beomgyu said, frowning slightly.

Huening Kai had whipped his head up so fast to stare at Beomgyu with a look of unwavering belief. "Jennie doesn't have anything to do with what Sunwoo did. She's..He abuses her. He takes advantage of her. She tried to help us."

Taehyun furrowed his eyebrows, tuning into the conversation as he turned to meet Huening Kai's eyes. "What do you mean he abuses her?"

The black-haired younger hesitated for a moment, lowering his voice slightly despite knowing that the driver was too immersed in the trot songs that were playing from the stereo. "The day that I got kidnapped, I witnessed it happen."

The pair were silent as they exchanged a look of worry before turning back to stare at Huening Kai.

Taehyun piped up. "But if Jennie really wanted to escape then she would have that day when she was here with us when Sunwoo broke into our dorm."

"She can't! She can't escape because Sunwoo is crazy and he would hurt her even more if she tried. She has no way out. That's why I told her to escape with me," Huening Kai exasperatedly said, annoyed that his hyungs weren't understanding the seriousness of Jennie's situation. 

The driver reached over to turn the volume down on the stereo before turning around to face the three boys. "We're here."

They had been talking for so long that they hadn't noticed that the driver had pulled up alongside the hospital. Beomgyu sheepishly apologized for wasting his time but the driver only smiled saying that it was fine.

"Thank you again, sir," Beomgyu said before the three of them piled out of the car, shutting the door behind them.

They watched the car drive away further down the road before Taehyun spun around to stare up at the tall hospital building. The bright lights coming from every window reflecting into the dark starry night sky.

Beomgyu slightly shivered, running his arms up and down his bare arms. He hadn't realized that Taehyun had been watching him until the younger had asked, "Hyung do you want your jacket back?"

Beomgyu blinked at Taehyun before shaking his head. He'd rather freeze if it meant that Taehyun was warm. "Ah, no it's okay. I'll be fine."

After a minute of just standing near the entrance, they walked into the busy hospital building. The smell immediately hitting Huening Kai. It had reminded him of the first time they had brought Soobin here and they were all huddled around in the waiting room.

Huening Kai stumbled backward, unsure of whether or not he was even ready to see Soobin lying on that hospital bed hooked up to different machines.

Taehyun noticed his discomfort and immediately wrapped a comforting arm around their maknae. "You'll be okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait guys! :( 
> 
> I really do try my best to update and I sincerely apologize that it takes so long to post one chapter. I've been having a lot of writers' block recently but I forced myself to complete this chapter and I'm not sure if this turned out the way I wanted it to. I mostly wanted this chapter to focus on Huening Kai, Beomgyu and Taehyun going to see Soobin in the hospital. I guess the next chapter will be a mix of Yeonjun's focus as well, not sure yet but I hoped you guys enjoyed this chapter and thank you so much for constantly leaving kind comments! The fact that you guys are so happy reading this story makes me happy and yes that sounds really cheesy I know lol but I know I'm not the best writer and I don't have a lot of advanced vocabulary like most writers do but I'm trying to improve so thank you for bearing with me! <3

**Author's Note:**

> My favorite ship in TXT right now is Yeonbin!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it but if you want me to continue it then please let me know and tell me what I should add in the next chapter.
> 
> Byee! <3


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